Democratic Deficit

Crossers will be shocked to learn of Keith Flannigan's election to the post of President of Watsonians CC. Not that this fine gent has been deemed worthy of such high office but by the notion that cricket club Presidents are elected...

Shifty the Craic Dealer???

Ma een near popped oot ma heid.

Shifty on the BBC

"Shifty, a young crack cocaine dealer in London, sees his life quickly spiral out of control when his best friend (Bates?) returns home"

"Packs a powerful punch"???

Shifty on IMDB

Next on Saturday, BBC2, 2330.

Pres leads the way as thirds lift gloom

Saturday scores digest:

1sts (at Fettes College):

Holy Cross 204 for 7 in 50 overs.
(S McOscar 54, D. Russell 45*, K. Fraser 39)
Grange 2 0 for 0 in 0 overs.
No result - Abandoned due to heavy rain shower.

scorecard here

2nds (at Arbo)

Watsonians 172.
Holy Cross 33 for 1 off 10.
No result -  Abandoned due to (the same) heavy rain shower.

3rds (at St Andrews)

WON!!!
Full details to follow on this very unlikely event.
MOM performance from the Pres...

Shifty Available Again

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18791134

Might be free in August

Holy Cross Ignite Despite Absence of Bonfire!

 The newish look Holy Cross first team was missing cup final hero Bonfield but secured a well deserved victory against a rusty looking Watsonians.  The writer (EC Smith) was making unusually good time, aided by his father's car, and arrived at arboretum a full five minutes before play commenced!  Big hitting opening batsman Owais Mazher followed ten minutes later having, ingeniously, arrived fully clothed in his whites in order to 'save time'!  Flawed logic or genius, I'll leave it up to you to decide!

This question aside, play commenced on schedule and the firsts appeared to have pulled off their customary psychological trick of appearing like a bunch of reprobates while still starting the game strongly.  GT, buoyed by his promotion to vice-captain in the absence of the injured Keith Fraser, took on the responsibility of 'pack-leader' and performed with gusto in the opening overs.  Veteran Flannigan looked in determined mood but, after shaping a couple away, GT had him shoudering arms to one that nipped back and the middle and off bail went flying!  Queue high fives and celebrations coupled with cautionary warnings that the gritty Fox was arriving at the crease, no doubt wishing to continue his good record against the Cross.

Fox nudged and nurdled, along with Yellowless , in relatively benign early season conditions and skipper Russell shrewdly resisted the temptation to over attack at this point.  After ten overs, GT and Raja made way for McCoscar and Ellis, as the Cross looked to stifle the opposition in what was a slightly hesitant looking 2nd wicket partnership.  The skipper's patience was rewarded in the fifteenth over when Ellis teased Fox down the wicket and Shifty took a smart stumping chance to spark further celebrations.  At around 35-2 Holy Cross were amongst the wickets and had also kept things tight resulting in a sense of anticipation as to how Watson's would respond. 

However, apart from a couple of enterprising strokes from new batsman Fleming, the visitors continued to creep along at a fairly slow rate.  It must be said though, that this was largely to do with the quality of the bowling, as McCoscar and Ellis bowled with real control and intelligence throughout this period.  As a result, this sense of anticipation had started to give way to a sense of inevitability, as The Cross secured their third wicket when McCoscar trapped Yellowless lbw.  Holy Cross then pushed home their advantage, with McOscar grabbing two further wickets, to leave the visitors in real trouble at 60-5 during drinks. 

Having taken his match total to three wickets, McCoscar looked to be tiring slightly as he made way for a Raja 'blast' after drinks.  Holy Cross's new 'tough man' repaid the skipper's faith in him as he got rid of the dangerous looking number 7, after inducing a leading edge.  Raja then turned on the style in his next over when a well disguised slower ball, which would have done for many a batsman, was edged to gully.  A slightly unnecessary run-out of Fleming later, who probably represented the visitors last hope of posting a competitive total, meant the visitors were lurching badly.

At around 80-8, the vice-captain then demonstrated an innate understanding of the privileges which can come with power, promptly 'finding' himself back in the attack.  No one was complaining of Machiavellian methods, however, as GT burst through the tail to leave Watson's with a substantially under par total of 83 off 34 overs.

After a tea notable for both its quantity and quality, The Cross then set about their total in earnest...  However, after a couple of sound shots through cover, McOscar nicked one off Leggett and departed early on for just 4 runs.  Only one more run than wicket for the kiwi but, for those who have witnessed him in pre-season nets, one suspects it is only a matter of time before he gets to grips with the Scottish wickets and puts runs on the board. 

This wicket brought CJ Ellis to the crease to join the ever ready Mazher and the scoreboard soon started to tick over at a comfortable rate.  Progress was relatively serene, although Watson's should have seen Mazher depart on around 25, when he was dropped after miscuing a trademark stroke over the wide mid-on region.  However, a huge 6 from Mazher and some fluent stroke-play from Ellis saw Holy Cross complete a surprisingly straightforward 9 wicket victory, with Mazher finishing on 44* and Ellis 30*.

There will be greater tests for the first team, including (no doubt) Watson's themselves later in the season, but this continued a good start for The Cross under the stewardship of Dougie.  

         
EC Smith;

Lynch Hangs Up His Sandals

Teenagers of the East League rejoice, frequenters of the green room weep.

Sad news may have spread amongst Crossers that after surviving two winters The Bishop can't face another gruelling summer in Scotland, is packing CA in his bag and heading back down under.

Leaving drinks are planned for Saturday 14th April at a location to be confirmed. Save the date.

Ex-pat Pat to be an ex-pat

No caption required

Captaincy Race Blown Wide Open

Cross captaincy leadership hopeful Bishop 'Pat' Lynch is both delighted and gutted to announce that he is not much longer to be a Crosser.

Due to personal reasons, he (and his good lady) shall soon be making a return back to Australia just in time for winter and those chilly 20-odd degree temperatures. Indeed, the move 'home' should all be done & dusted prior to our new season.

Headlines

For the rest of us, with the AGM tomorrow, we've been spared just in the nick of time, from a seasons worth of amazingly imaginative 'Lynch Mob' headlines in the EEN.

Captaincy

The Bishop had recently been propelled towards the top of a long list of contenders for the 1st XI captaincy. As usual, I was absolutely bang on in my analysis when I said "the best & worst sledger in the club holds the fatal 'early front-runner' tag".

Barbarism

The Bish has of course endeared himself to Crossers on various counts in his short stint at Arbo. He single-handedly halted the avalanche of Fair Play Awards we'd come to take for granted with his vicious weekly denunciations of young children in opposing teams.

Homoeroticism

However, his influence wasn't all good. Avoiding all national stereotypes Big Pat loved a XXXX or three, preferably mixed in with a bit of male bonding in the form of manly arm-wrestling (due to Arbo's strict No Sheep policy) which he has introduced of a Saturday evening. Will there be a 'Bishop Lynch Trophy' inaugurated in 2012 for the competition he established???

Fielding

The Bish also excelled in setting new standards in the field. Even if, like me, you weren't actually there, you will still vividly recall 'that drop' at Grange Loan. The ball being passed along the slip cordon and placed into the big man's pocket before he contrived to grass it. Sadly I have to mention his gravity defying, full stretch, once in an era catch at Roseburn a week later.

Swansong

So, whilst there won't be a big psuedo-religious Aussie leading our troops onto the field of battle this coming season, Pat will of course be leading us into the Games Hall of battle in the LiveSportOnTV Indoor 6's at Liberton High School this evening at 7.30*. Any East Academy players reading this might want to rush along to hand out some jip before the opportunity for revenge expires.

Leaving Drinks

No details as yet, but I'm sure something will be arranged.

* Despite the 6's taking place at the same time and in the same place every week, there has been a 'muck up with the booking' and there will be no 6's tonight.

Disappointment as AGM doesn't coincide with Scotland playing in 6 Nations

Two posts in a row without any visual stimulation??? There shall be no hat-trick for the texties on my watch!!!

Be there or be compost

For anyone new to Presidential re-elections (HX AGM's), here is a photo of last years stitch-up. The Green Room seldom looks this good. Although there is nothing at all sinister in these jovial gatherings, Messrs Astley & Dannreuther have not been heard from since when they were rumoured to have 'apologised' for their non-attendance and 'left' the club.

El Presidente may come across as a happy-go-lucky, port swilling, be-bearded, gardening teddy bear, but the evil capitalist oinker that he has tried to stuff deep back inside can rear it's ugly head without any warning. It is my understanding that poor Roland (who survived a brush with Patsy Putin) is pushing up the begonia's in Shifty's new town allotment whilst The Good Doctor gets a monthly rotate in the Presidential Compost Heap.

Dearest Leader ever

Those previous Presidential Elections results in full:
(Candidates ~ share of vote)


2008
E Presidente ~ 106% (record share topped up with postal votes)
S Russell ~ 2% (dispatched East to Siberiapans)


2009
E Presidente ~ 112% (record share of the vote as popularity rises)
D Craig ~ 0% (banned from the club sine die)



2010
E Presidente ~ 107% (obviously thought 2009 winning margin may be viewed as suspicious)
S Saunders ~ -3% (told to go away, but likely to turn up out of the blue at any time)



2011
E Presidente ~ 118% (record breaking share of the vote)
M Din ~ 3% (greatest ever runner up score, but record margin of defeat to boot)

Farewell to CA

As you'll be aware, Calum is heading off to Australia this month.

To bid him farewell, the soc sec has suggested that Crossers convene at St Vincents on St. Vincent Street on Friday 13th Jan - from 7pm onwards.

Reminder from Bimbo

 

Brother Crossers!

A gentle reminder that tonight (Friday 9th) is Quiz Night/Festive celebrations at Arbo.

Gates open at 6.30 for a 7pm start, looking forward to seeing you all there!

Inverleith RFC - Race Night

 

Crossers are invited to a Race Night at Arbo next Saturday 26th.

Starts at 7:30pm, hosted by Inverleith Rugby Football Club.

It's in aid of Mike Gordon's daughter's charity.

Entry £5.

Hat Trick for Mandy & Michael at Awards Night

Has Shifty Proposed to Mandy? Has he whispered something sweet to make her clutch her chest? Is El Presidente's breath caused Mandy's reaction?

Quick answer to all of the above sadly is No - in fact here we see Mandy & Michael being presented with exclusive Holy Cross Baggies as a token of appreciation for their unrivalled and outstanding services to the Club this season. Mandy then produced a stunning buffet after the Awards were over.

Before the Players were allowed to tuck in, Mandy reprimanded Charlie for bringing his mucky cricket shoes into the Clubhouse and reminded everyone that all the dishes and all the cups go back into the kitchen when finished!! You have been warned.

Annual Holy Cross BBQ - Early Warning!!

In a blatant and gratuitous attempt to grab your attention I'm taking the bold effort of announcing the date for the annual club BBQ early as opposed to the traditional 3 days beforehand.

It seems the fixture list has declared 30th of July to be the auspicious date when all teams play in closest proximity to each other.

As always it is an open event and with this much notice there no excuses for not bringing your partner, kids or friends along. *

* The club accepts no responsibility for the fallout of your partner discovering how and with who you spend so much of your precious summers weekends.

Fabled water source rediscovered by club President.

The long-rumoured water source underneath Arbo was today rediscovered by the club President. Using a shovel and a 'hose fitting bought from Homebase for 2 quid', the Pres has ensured that the spring flows once more.

The healing powers of the water from the Arbo Spring are legendary: it has allowed several Crossers to continue to play long after most cricketers have been forced to retire. Drinking large quantities is not advised; better to immerse the diseased or injured part of your body in it-ideally whilst reciting the club motto. The spring may also prove useful for pitch preparation.

Old Regime Clings to Power

....AGM Headlines.

Despite the 'Ring of Steel' surrounding the Arbo Green room, the following information has leaked out (via some associates of Julian Assange, posing as Inverleith Rugby club bar staff) from yesterday's HCACC AGM :

All office bearers and captains as before, apart from these new appointees:

Norrie Webb 'elected' 2nd XI captain.

Andrew Graham 'elected' 3rd XI vice-captain.

There are further unconfirmed reports that the President's annual 'great speech' lasted a mere 4 minutes-2 hours less than at the previous AGM. Some Crossologists have speculated that this may indicate a loss of authority-or weakening resolve. Certainly coded references to the need for 'new blood' by the 3rd XI captain and outbursts by the deposed 3rd XI vice-captain suggested that the balance of power within the club leadership is somewhat unsettled. The absence of several key figures (the Minister of Information, the Minister for Bread and Circuses, the Head of the Standards Commission, and the Vice-President of the Safety Committee) is believed by some to be 'highly significant' and may indicate that a coup is imminent.

Hello, this is your President calling...

Greetings, citizens. At this time of year we like to have a little get-together called the AGM. This is the annual opportunity for the plebs (that's you) to vote to have our more pathetic generals hurled from the Tarpeian Rock, and to elect their glorious successors to carry the standard into victorious battle. You will also have the opportunity to elect sundry eunuchs and scribes to positions of bureaucratic influence within the court, err, club.

Needless to say some of the more senior elections will be, how should I put it, "technical" procedures (and given the quality of the candidates I'm seriously considering appointing my horse as Club Captain), but you should still take advantage of the chance to have more mortal underlings thrown to the lions - it's such fun.

In the spirit of Bread and Circuses I have decreed that this year's event should start later than usual, at the fifth hour of the afternoon, so that we can all make a dash for the nearest taverna - to celebrate the deposal of the old captains and mourn the appointment of the new ones. We may even sample some exotic cuisine from the valley of the Indus. I hope this festive opportunity will result both in a very high turnout and in unusually rapid progress through the agenda.

As primus inter pares I am looking forward to giving every one of you the chance to buy me a drink. Now bring on the sword-swallowing midgets, before I simply die of boredom...

Double the fun

'Come and celebrate the 30th birthday of two long serving irascible crossers at Prestonfield Golf Club on Sat 12 March.

Contrary to initial suggestions, this prestigious event is in honour of EC & CA Smith and not McGill and Smudger!

The Smiths cordially invite all club members(and WAGs) to this ceilidh event with doors opening at 8pm. There will be a light (especially after EC has been up) finger buffet on offer and dress should be 'informal ceildih'.

Just respond here or drop either EC or CA a wee text to let them know if you can make it... There is plenty of time to make arrangements so it would great to see you all there.

Follow the Leader

Our captains (and those currently plotting to take over from them)
may find this Radio 4 programme interesting:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00x4018

Holy X Xmas Drinks

Gents,

Having spent the best part of two weeks snowed in with only the internet for amusement it's certainly time to arrange some festive drinks. A few folk wll be heading to the St Vincent Stockbridge - Howe St for a few this Saturday.

Happy days!

Arbo square successfully put to bed.

Crossers will be pleased to learn that the elite squad of the Facilities Commissar, Pres and cje have successfully completed the task of overseeding and top-dressing the square. Luckily it stayed dry for the duration ... and then rained heavily overnight, which should help the seed germinate.....and now we've got lovely sunshine-perfect
Well, we've thought for some time that there were a few moles in the club....is ffs under one of these??

The team leaders consider getting down to work ....

... but instead decide to employ child labour..!