Sunday Match OFF-

Today's track. @HXCricket pic.twitter.com/Q4EaJ03WeP
— Brian Adam Fraser (@beefrazor) August 10, 2014

Some might say...a shame the rain didn't arrive 24 hrs earlier

Meadows Mayhem.

Andy G reports on a 3rd XI victory at the Meadows. A Shame the '1sts' couldn't do the same on Wednesday.

After negotiating the start of a pre season hockey match on Thursday night the #fuds managed to gather 11 for Saturday’s epic tie against Watsonians.

After much emailing on Friday morning we obtained the crucial information that vegetarians were not  allowed in Watsonians which meant we could crack on with the inspired idea of a BBQ and beer cricket day at the Meadows. Elmo became available late which meant we had a real south African braai!

Anyway, after organising folk to bring meat, some of the highlights - Parker with his lemon and pepper marinated chicken wings, Elmondt had procured a large south African sausage and Mark and I brought our chipolatas as well as soya sauce pork chops. I must admit it was a pretty impressive feast!

So whilst Parker’s chicken was marinading overnight we decided the thing to do was go for a few drinks – in order to be able to bat well the following day. Parker, me, Henton, Elmondt, Mark and Alex were all out – therefore guaranteeing runs and wickets according to the Holy Cross 3^rd XI laws of cricket.

We ended up in Garibaldis till 2.30am – with my girlfriend’s dad who is 62.

Great night out …

The next day, with some sore heads, we descended on the Meadows to find an unmarked, unprepared wicket. Watsons were happy to play which was great. Fag buts were used to mark out a crease and some plastic cutlery was pulled out of the stump holes and we were good to go.

I went out for the toss – hoping to bat second so we could finish off the beer and eat what remained of the BBQ but the Watson’s skip won and stuck us in. Alex opened with Mr Hopkinson. It seemed like a good idea, Alex would get some good time at the crease and Greg is the classiest bat to feature for the 3s since Richard Ellis. 

Unfortunately the partnership was a short one. Two balls into Alex's innings he was bowled by a 12 yr old. At first he proclaimed that the young man was swinging it both ways, then cutting it in at a 45 degree angle, save to say the only thing that was at 45 degrees was Cruickshank who was bent over laughing at Alex's shot!

That brought Dave 'the bin-raker' Coaton out of the traps. A drive through extra cover started his scoring and it was looking good. Greg then fell for 19 ... Bowled

I then came in to bat with Dave, this could be an exciting partnership – led by general banter and captain 3 runs. It started really well, 21 runs off 3 overs but it was over when Dave nicked it into the keeper’s gloves.

This brought Parkie out to the green green wicket. Watsons brought on a young off spinner at the Marchmont end – this made the leg side boundary about 3 feet away from the square and the off side boundary about 100 ft away – not the smartest end to choose from the young lad against 2 hockey players. Fair to say we capitalised on this … our partnership was 62 off 7 overs then Parkie was bowled.

This was the second funniest wicket of the day. Pitching just outside leg and travelling further down leg Parker tried to defend it but missed, it then hit his pad, his foot and rolled slowly onto the stumps tickling the bails off. He stood for a few seconds, gave a look of bemusement and disgust... then walked off.

Cruicky came in as cheery as ever, in the first three balls we ran 8 runs, at which point the garibaldi’s specials caught up with us and mark exclaimed that those would be the last of the 3s. The next shot was definitely a 3 but Mark refused to run them at all.

The partnership flourished, Mark played some actual cricket shots and I even got a 4 through the covers with a back foot drive! Unbelievable.

With Mark and me trotting along nicely I got my ton  and was given permission from Mark to have a swing! Not that I was going slowly before we were going at 8 an over! At the 28^th over they decided to bring on their 9^th bowler, 4, 2, top edge straight up – 4 12 year olds look like they are about to collide but a booming voice of the old boy who was the 9^th bowler got shot of them pretty quickly. He clutched it and I was gone. Out trotted Craig Wright – duck! 2^nd in 2 competitive games for the Cross.(he did score a few mid week against Grange cricket in the hockey v cricket game).

Jamie Johnstone have never scored a run in competitive cricket then hit 16 – including a huge 6 over to Jawbone Walk! Elmo finished not out and the funniest dismissal of the day was Matt Henton at no 11.  He took middle, took a good stance then preceded to leave a ball that pitched in line and hit the middle of middle stump!

Hiliarious and a good finish to a cracking innings 291 all out with 2 overs to spare!

We then had a cracking BBQ and then it started to rain … boooo!

So we took to the field and mucked about a bit as the ball got more and more out of shape – after 5 overs it looked like smudge’s dog had had his way with it!

Coco opened well but with no reward getting 0-13 off 8. Henton opened at the other end but because we thought we better tie up the 20 overs quickly to get a result he ended 3-16 after 4. Parker came on at the other end getting an lbw with his first ball – inspired captaining! 

We held 1 catch through Craigy Wright at point, pretty tough one too!

Craig ‘im a batsman’ Wright replaced Parker at the 20^th over he bowled darts – very similar to shifty – and was rewarded with the last wicket – coco did drop one and parker another!

Elmo was superb – 4 wickets for 2 runs – would have had 5 wickets for 0 if Coco could catch!

Anyway onwards and upwards – smellies will be difficult no doubt! But with captain Mcmonagle at the helm im sure we’ll be fine!

Henton Hatrick & Golden Grahams Lift Thirds

Andy G reports on the 3rd XI match vs Edinburgh South -at the Inch (Artificial). Since 
the 1sts were playing on the adjacent square, we can attest that some of this stuff actually happened...
.....................................................................................
 So ... We won again ... Great!

On Friday at 5pm I have 8 players ...
Then by Saturday we have 11 - unbelievable Jeff!

We kicked off ... late, we were missing our wickey and our opening bowlers. One because he forgot his trainers and the other because the captain forgot to pick him up! We began with Keith (every reliable) and he's always gonna Geddes a wicket ! with Dave 'the tack' Sharpe at the other end!

It was like being back in 2005!

Anyway they bowled and there were a few drops - to be expected - and there were a few jaffas too! Keith and Dave bowled really well limiting them to 1.5 an over off their first 16 and also taking 3 wickets!

Great stuff!!

But then I decided to unleash my secret weapon Mr (I don't really like cricket but feel I should turn up cause that's what all the other hockey players do) Henton. His first over was rubbish ... Maiden!

Then he mucked about for another 3 taking a wicket in the process.

Then the magic happened:
First ball wicket.

Second ball dot.

Third ball dottiho.

Fourth ball bowled - excellent delivery -hit the top of off.

A child comes in and Matt halves his run up. Bowls him with a daisy cutter - no celebrations (his 4th wicket and brings the hat trick ball)

Last ball of the over and everyone in ...
Matt bowls slightly short but on the stumps. The batsman plays but it bounces off his glove , it's in the air, it's Usama, it's crazy the crowd (a man in jeans) goes wild. A five-for and a hat trick (double jug)!

Anyway, he bowled utter crap after that!

Danny Main got a good run out and I'm sorry Broonster you should have had two more overs!

So Alex and I are talking on Saturday ... What do we do with 3 batsmen and 8 no.10s? Yeah that's right.. we ship one batsman to the 2s! So I asked at tea ''who would like to open with ken?'' an eery silence (this was in front of the opposition as well). So I spoke to my old man (his response: no, give someone else a shot I've already dropped two catches) graham.

Anyway with my sales skills, learned from bimbo, I got him to open.

Great decision skip ... Thanks skip.
So my old man and Ken were 10 off 6! Then they unleashed the beast!

An opening partnership of roughly 40 off 15, pretty fast for Ken!
So Ken obviously thinks the run rate isn't quick enough so try's to smash one and he's gone! So I step up (having missed 70% of Henton's throw downs)!

I enjoyed batting with my dad, I think mostly cause he still thinks he is As quick as he was at 30! It was good fun and I'm disappointed he got out on 35-he should have definitely made 50!

That brought Matt (5for) Henton to the crease. We quickly lost him Sharpey and Usama. Danny Main produced a little flutter and we had a partnership of 30. Eberst brought it home with 4 overs to spare.

Good day out and Edinburgh South had some really good chat in the field!

To Saturday ... Away to Leith!

Hopefully another 20pts!

Weekend Woe

Despite a fantastic ton from Julius, the 1sts lost out in a high-scoring game at Arbo...as to the 2's and 3's...poor availability left both teams short of players...with rather inevitable results..

More details to follow..

33 for next week please...

Ists Overcome Availability Crisis

For the first time in long while, HX failed to get 3 Saturday teams out, and we also had to concede today's Presidents' Trophy match vs Westquarter.

An availability crisis of monumental proportions led to the core of the 2nd team moving up to the 1sts, leaving the 2nds with effectively the 3rds. Unsurprisingly they lost heavily to Grange 3rds after being bowled out for just 46 [not sure what Lord Admin will make of that].

At Kirkhill, the 1sts scrambled a win, making heavy weather of chasing 100, albeit in tricky batting conditions.

An odd game of cricket began with an unfamiliar '1st XI' taking the field -several players making their 1st or 2nd ever 1st team appearance.

The wicket was reasonable given that it was under covers for 2 days but  gave assistance to the bowlers. The humid conditions certainly helped the ball swing.

After a slightly loose start, Jules & Shannon got their act together. Assisted by some ambitious drives from the Penicuik, and some unexpectedly sharp slip catching, wickets fell at a steady rate.
Ross (2/29), in his first 1st XI bowling spell for the 1sts, bowled a dolly mixture of a spell, including some wild ones but also several jaffas, including a cracker to dismiss their well-set opener, Steel. Meanwhile CJE was boring the batsmen to death before Shannon returned to complete a fine five-for (10-3-13-5).
A 26 run 10th wicket partnership was a bit disappointing, though it allowed Dan to take his first Ist XI wicket.

A vibrant start led by Spickers was halted by a flurry of disappointing shots, leaving us 33-3 and the game in the balance.
Ross kept things with a very handy 25 and a typically positive Julius (18) spanked a massive six before holing out. When Dom was bowled we were 85-7 and teetering.

With the prospect of stand in skipper Dougie being forced to bat with a painful hand injury, Shannon and BAF helped us get  over the line. Hardly an ideal batting effort but -given the poor availability-any type of win can be celebrated.

dont PANIC.

Frazerio says calm doon, its business as usual

This current Ashes might seem like a bewildering reversal of the form book to some, but I've rustled up a whole bunch of solutions to the predicament that 'England's' 'finest' currently face.

These do not emanate from within my own brain however, instead I have dredged internet comment sections to present Flowery with a range of options.

Bat Belly at 3

Send for Colly

Drop Pietersen, Prior, Anderson & Swann

Don't drop Pietersen, Prior, Anderson & Swann

Take the captaincy from Cooky to let him concentrate on his batting. Replace with Broady

Pick Rankin and tell him to bowl as fast as he can

Drop Cooky down the order

Why the panic? Johnson only bagged 5 tail-enders and a couple of out of sorts batter chaps

Send for Straussy

Bairstow for Prior, no debate, internet unanimous

Now that Australia have been lulled into a false sense of security...

Patience, Cook & KP are just one innings away from a score

Stop all this 'Finn is unpickable' nonsense

Send for Brian Close

"Too beautiful for words, a virtual Adonis"

There I was, idly perusing the Wiki page of a certain legendary Scotsman, when I became a tad disorientated.

An Edinburgh heart throb

Many of the entries seemed to 'cross' over quite neatly into what I shall tentatively dub 'the greatest Wikipedia page yet to be written', the life, leg before's and legovers of a certain Arboretum legend.

Passages (including the title of this post) such as:

"polled as "The Greatest Living Scot" and "Scotland's Greatest Living National Treasure". In 1989, he was proclaimed "Sexiest Man Alive" by Peoplemagazine and in 1999, at age 69, he was voted "Sexiest Man of the Century""

Not a CRB check in sight 

"then worked as, among other things, a lorry driver, a lifeguard at Portobello swimming baths, a labourer, an artist's model for the Edinburgh College of Art, after a suggestion by former Mr. Scotland, Archie Brennan.^[20][21] and a coffin polisher."

Another Edinburgh heart throb

Will Hollywood ever realise what it missed?????

Pres leads the way as thirds lift gloom

Saturday scores digest:

1sts (at Fettes College):

Holy Cross 204 for 7 in 50 overs.
(S McOscar 54, D. Russell 45*, K. Fraser 39)
Grange 2 0 for 0 in 0 overs.
No result - Abandoned due to heavy rain shower.

scorecard here

2nds (at Arbo)

Watsonians 172.
Holy Cross 33 for 1 off 10.
No result -  Abandoned due to (the same) heavy rain shower.

3rds (at St Andrews)

WON!!!
Full details to follow on this very unlikely event.
MOM performance from the Pres...

Lager-Fuelled Fuds Felled by Forbes

[PVB reports on the 3rds trip to Dalgety Bay]

A fast and bouncy track at Dalgety Bay – many surprises – first being we were 40 minutes early [!!] and started on time. Just 10 of us, but a good 10. Inserted. Paul & Mike found it hard going - so after 2 blows to the thumb Paul decided to have a rest until he could hold the bat properly return to face the pies which were being delivered by the lesser bowlers. Mike did well to keep out the openers for 14 overs, Matt surprised us all by playing a defensive shot – after a string of brave ones including smashing the bouncy bowler [?] over his head; Richard’s straight drive was majestic – oft practised in the garden no doubt. But they all got bowled and at 45-3 entered former fast bowler turned wicketkeeper-batsman Andy G.

Now turning yourself into a batsman is all the rage – Calum MacLeod, two dogs, Coco (but read on) [I omit Gary T – we know he always was a batsman], Andy is the latest -  he then proceeded to pick out any overpitched ball and dispatch it  meatily through extra cover   to  midwicket time and again – he nearly killed Paul at the bowler’s end [the bowler's end is at midwicket?]. In return, Paul tried to run him out to get him on strike. Andy and Paul put on 85 as the bowling became 'varied'  and Andy reached his maiden 50 with probably no more than a single on the off side. It was magicnificent, and he has two magic weapons – no, three!:  1, his reach & eye – anything remotely a full toss even on middle is hoisted to midwicket.   2, his bat, the provenance of which we won’t discuss, and 3 the can of lager he had just quaffed before batting. The club 3^rd XI kit should now include plentiful cans of cool lager.

At about 130-3,  Paul departed for 30. Then a new bowler who had allegedly never bowled for the club in his many games had Andy well caught at longish-on, followed by Coco who  received a absolute jaffa missed a straight one first ball. Ken and Ted perished in the chase, and Dave & Keith got us over the 150 mark.

So that wasn’t bad. But we knew Murray Forbes could tonk a bit – a century last week. Someone said it was a bit like facing a team with  Chris Gayle in – if you don’t get him out, you lose. So Murray went at a hell of a pace – a straight six off Matt’s first over was a pointer, and he had no respect for seniors either, dispatching Ellis snr over his head for another. Ok, it wasn’t chanceless  [name the guilty men Paul] but you just have to admire it; he probably reached his 91 in about the same number of balls that Ken took v Morton to get off the mark! He was even out before the drinks break. It was over 100 before Keith came on and was given the same treatment in his first over; then he bowled well, conceding only 28 in 7 overs. Andy pouched his first catch behind the stumps.

Dalgety Bay were fabulous hosts, provided a sumptuous tea.

Broken Records!!!

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before

There I was just minding my own business the other evening whilst out for a drive when I heard Ms Hannah Cockroft on the old wireless.

Who she???

For those of you not up to date on the latest minority sport news, Ms Cockroft, who won gold medals at 100m & 200m at last years World Championships, has broken a 100m wheelchair world record at the new Lympik Stadium (T34 class). Her account of events interested me muchly.

On the morning of the event the competitors were to be bussed to the stadium, however the bus crashed on the way to the hotel to pick up the athletes. So taxi's were summoned. Alack, none of the taxi's were big enough to take Ms Cockroft's racing chair!!! Things began to get fraught. She was panicking that she wouldn't get there on time for what would be her only opportunity to race in the stadium before the Paralympics.

Eventually they managed to pack her and her chair off to the Olympic Park. On arrival the Jobsworths protecting our freedom wouldn't let her through the security cordon. Just in the nick of time she made it inside. Afterwards she said;

"I missed the warm up and had to just get my numbers on and go straight onto the track. It was the worst preparation I'd ever had before a race, my head wasn't in the right place at all,".

Regular readers will now see where I'm going with this. Here is the formula.

Fraught Preparation + No Warm-up = New World Record!!!

Would any sports scientists care to explain this to me.

Here is a report from the BBC. The actual radio broadcast I listened to mused somewhat further on how a world record could be set with basically the opposite of what is 'accepted' preparation for best performance.

When the Frazerio Spring finally happens, I shall outlaw this dangerous and counter-productive practice of 'warming-up' prior to partaking in activity.

And a wee bonus for the over 35's (99% of the club?) with this classic VT.

Coastal Ken in record breaking form..

PVB reports on HX 3 v Morton (Campbell Park)

HX 3rds (Dad’s army) were well beaten by a sporting Morton 2nds side at CP. With Andy and Ross hotfooting it from their morning hockey game, we were always going to two short at the start – putting our average age at about 58 for the first hour! Once they arrived it was reduced to a more respectable 51, which is two less than the number of balls it took Coastal Ken to get off the mark. Maybe the immense preparations required to play at Campbell Pk tired him out  - he is like a packhorse as he uncomplainingly drags bagfuls of kit / stumps / food / mugs / teapot / beakers / teabags / milk / kitchen sink…

So Ken eclipsed Andy Greig’s league record of 51 balls to get going at Falkland in 1982 – again when we were two players short for an hour. Coco racked his brains at tea in search of a JLRB innings of the same ilk.

The pitch was a shade slower than the indoor nets, and the outfield was uncut. Our total could have been worse as Morton were very generous in spilling numerous catches, and it would have been far worse but for a magnificent innings from Ross Parker who punished the bad ball brilliantly. He scored two sixes, and put on 33 for the 9th wicket with Willie Lytle who also struck the ball really well. Ross scored 35* off 34 balls approx.

We didn’t bowl badly but Morton were more positive with their shots and took risks with their running. To our credit we didn’t drop a thing and Richard took a lovely catch at long-on; nor was extras our downfall with only a single wide called by Morton’s fair umpires. Mahmood and Andy shared keeping duties and really looked the part.

How pleasant to play in a match where both sides appreciated the skills of their opponents; Morton’s skipper even apologised after hitting me on my toes!

pvb

3rd XI disgrace the club: 2nds just miss out, Ists beat Mufs

If Broonster had been at Roseburn he would have captured something like this-Pat and Spick both taking superb diving catches.

Div 1 (at Roseburn)

Holy Cross 197-7
K. Fraser 56, O. Mazher 31, C. Ellis 26, D. Russell 26*

Murrayfield-London Road -Dafs-Roseburn-Cramond-Edinburgh CC 141 ao (42 overs)
M. Agerkar 47, A. Mohammed 24, Hays 22,
S. Bonfield 4-21, Worsnop 3-31

further details to follow...perhaps KF or Bimbo will provide a match report...
Evening News Div 1 summary here.

Div 5 at (The Meadows)
Holy Cross 2's - 197/8
Morton 1's 198/9

Div 8 (at Arboretum)

HX 3rds 72 all out (wtf!!!!)
SMRH 73-3

Following this shameful performance, the 3rd XI have been barred (by the club central committee) from playing at Arboretum for a period of 5 years.