Henton Hatrick & Golden Grahams Lift Thirds

Andy G reports on the 3rd XI match vs Edinburgh South -at the Inch (Artificial). Since 
the 1sts were playing on the adjacent square, we can attest that some of this stuff actually happened...
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 So ... We won again ... Great!

On Friday at 5pm I have 8 players ...
Then by Saturday we have 11 - unbelievable Jeff!

We kicked off ... late, we were missing our wickey and our opening bowlers. One because he forgot his trainers and the other because the captain forgot to pick him up! We began with Keith (every reliable) and he's always gonna Geddes a wicket ! with Dave 'the tack' Sharpe at the other end!

It was like being back in 2005!

Anyway they bowled and there were a few drops - to be expected - and there were a few jaffas too! Keith and Dave bowled really well limiting them to 1.5 an over off their first 16 and also taking 3 wickets!

Great stuff!!

But then I decided to unleash my secret weapon Mr (I don't really like cricket but feel I should turn up cause that's what all the other hockey players do) Henton. His first over was rubbish ... Maiden!

Then he mucked about for another 3 taking a wicket in the process.

Then the magic happened:
First ball wicket.

Second ball dot.

Third ball dottiho.

Fourth ball bowled - excellent delivery -hit the top of off.

A child comes in and Matt halves his run up. Bowls him with a daisy cutter - no celebrations (his 4th wicket and brings the hat trick ball)

Last ball of the over and everyone in ...
Matt bowls slightly short but on the stumps. The batsman plays but it bounces off his glove , it's in the air, it's Usama, it's crazy the crowd (a man in jeans) goes wild. A five-for and a hat trick (double jug)!

Anyway, he bowled utter crap after that!

Danny Main got a good run out and I'm sorry Broonster you should have had two more overs!

So Alex and I are talking on Saturday ... What do we do with 3 batsmen and 8 no.10s? Yeah that's right.. we ship one batsman to the 2s! So I asked at tea ''who would like to open with ken?'' an eery silence (this was in front of the opposition as well). So I spoke to my old man (his response: no, give someone else a shot I've already dropped two catches) graham.

Anyway with my sales skills, learned from bimbo, I got him to open.

Great decision skip ... Thanks skip.
So my old man and Ken were 10 off 6! Then they unleashed the beast!

An opening partnership of roughly 40 off 15, pretty fast for Ken!
So Ken obviously thinks the run rate isn't quick enough so try's to smash one and he's gone! So I step up (having missed 70% of Henton's throw downs)!

I enjoyed batting with my dad, I think mostly cause he still thinks he is As quick as he was at 30! It was good fun and I'm disappointed he got out on 35-he should have definitely made 50!

That brought Matt (5for) Henton to the crease. We quickly lost him Sharpey and Usama. Danny Main produced a little flutter and we had a partnership of 30. Eberst brought it home with 4 overs to spare.

Good day out and Edinburgh South had some really good chat in the field!

To Saturday ... Away to Leith!

Hopefully another 20pts!

Smudger's 2x30th In Photos

Father of the club

Smujinder 'Smudger' Smudgerjee celebrated graduation from the famous Holy Cross Youth Academy as he turned 3x20 at Arboretum Road's infamous Green Room Nightspot on Saturday night.

News had reached the capital that Lawrie's Third Army had defeated a Largo battalion in a stirring encounter at St Andrews in the only Cross game to reach a conclusion. Whilst Twitter reported that El Presidente had been hitting big 6's, there was also relief that after losing his only pair of cricket trousers, Coco had been forced to purchase a new pair and was therefore not playing in his golden budgie smugglers. It'd been mischievously suggested that his missing breeks had simply got up and scarpered of their own accord!!!

Golden Balls McGill back in '69

The 1st XI had returned early from Fettes after thrashing Grange 2's 204-0 in a one-sided affair where it would probably be fairer to mention that Grange never really got started in their innings. The 2's game, at the Fortress itself, also fell victim to this cantankerous jet stream silly bother we've been enduring of late. This ensured a prompt start to the binge drinking for both teams.

The distance of the 3's from the birthday shenanigans meant the party would have to wait for the dazzling social racontuerism of Messrs McGill & Robertson. In the meantime the legendary anecdotes were provided by the hippest swinger in the club, Mr G Lohan. The highlight was the discovery that "Paxman was my fag". Those of us educated by the council dared not ask for a layman's translation.

One of the things Gerry has smoked???

The 3's began to arrive back in instalments, generally in order of virility (I'll leave it to others to decide in which order). Their arrivals were interspersed with appearances by Honorary Legends such as Cartwright (senior) and Mair (available for selection, but not selected!!!).

Shifty - 5for in a break from filming

Eventually El Presidente and Coco joined proceedings and the real BS could begin. President Maradona was able to declare "this is finally the club I wished it to become" as young Gaware lit the presidential roll-up completely unrequested. It was made obvious that the drink was taking effect when Zggy Cydzk didn't even attempt to pronounce the name of a fellow cricketer - "that whotsisname" - also sporting a Polski surname.

It was also my pleasure (totally wasn't) to reunite McGill with his errant trews. They had been discovered earlier by poor Raja who had heard a low humming noise emitting from deep within his cricket bag. They had to be extracted at arms length and placed in a sealed container before immaturely falling into my possession as Dougie declared 'last bag packed has to take them', placing me at a distinct disadvantage being the only bag left unpacked.

All that remains to be divulged is this rather fetching snap taken anonymously at the end of the evening. Should any Smudger offspring be reading, I'd recommend going no further, or at the very least, scrolling down very slowly...

One for Mrs Smudger

Russell Regime Diktat #0002

JC, he say OMG

The Holy Democratic Committee of the New Way for the Cricketing Crossers would like to thank all of the Great & Fit Men who attended Winter Nets on Saturday. Our newly installed covert iris recognition system calculated 24 (twenty four) able men in attendance. This required the complete facilitation of the facilities, or in other words, the use of all 4 (four) available nets.

This remarkable achievement is believed to be the first time that the use of 2 (two) nets has ever been exceeded by our venerable institution. The astonishing show of club unity is also a powerful vindication of the demanding new standards of Captain Russell.

Four Lanes

Let us pray that it is not an early pinnacle of His second coming!!!

At one point Lord Admin was overheard to mutter that there were "too many people here", but his office have since retracted this as "mis-speak" after a subsequent update of the weekly accounts showed a marked increase in revenue.

Legends in attendance at Le Galleon included the very dishonourable Coco McGogo, Jerry 'Lohan' Garcia & both Sir Shanton John AND his new bride Dame Bimbo Furnish.

There are now only 2 (two) nets remaining this pre-season on the next two Saturday's, 17th & 24th March.

The Russell Regime hereby urges a note of caution. We cannot get carried away with this amazingness and must ensure that a high attendance is maintained. See you next Saturday, normal rules apply.