Meadows Mayhem.

Andy G reports on a 3rd XI victory at the Meadows. A Shame the '1sts' couldn't do the same on Wednesday.

After negotiating the start of a pre season hockey match on Thursday night the #fuds managed to gather 11 for Saturday’s epic tie against Watsonians.

After much emailing on Friday morning we obtained the crucial information that vegetarians were not  allowed in Watsonians which meant we could crack on with the inspired idea of a BBQ and beer cricket day at the Meadows. Elmo became available late which meant we had a real south African braai!

Anyway, after organising folk to bring meat, some of the highlights - Parker with his lemon and pepper marinated chicken wings, Elmondt had procured a large south African sausage and Mark and I brought our chipolatas as well as soya sauce pork chops. I must admit it was a pretty impressive feast!

So whilst Parker’s chicken was marinading overnight we decided the thing to do was go for a few drinks – in order to be able to bat well the following day. Parker, me, Henton, Elmondt, Mark and Alex were all out – therefore guaranteeing runs and wickets according to the Holy Cross 3^rd XI laws of cricket.

We ended up in Garibaldis till 2.30am – with my girlfriend’s dad who is 62.

Great night out …

The next day, with some sore heads, we descended on the Meadows to find an unmarked, unprepared wicket. Watsons were happy to play which was great. Fag buts were used to mark out a crease and some plastic cutlery was pulled out of the stump holes and we were good to go.

I went out for the toss – hoping to bat second so we could finish off the beer and eat what remained of the BBQ but the Watson’s skip won and stuck us in. Alex opened with Mr Hopkinson. It seemed like a good idea, Alex would get some good time at the crease and Greg is the classiest bat to feature for the 3s since Richard Ellis. 

Unfortunately the partnership was a short one. Two balls into Alex's innings he was bowled by a 12 yr old. At first he proclaimed that the young man was swinging it both ways, then cutting it in at a 45 degree angle, save to say the only thing that was at 45 degrees was Cruickshank who was bent over laughing at Alex's shot!

That brought Dave 'the bin-raker' Coaton out of the traps. A drive through extra cover started his scoring and it was looking good. Greg then fell for 19 ... Bowled

I then came in to bat with Dave, this could be an exciting partnership – led by general banter and captain 3 runs. It started really well, 21 runs off 3 overs but it was over when Dave nicked it into the keeper’s gloves.

This brought Parkie out to the green green wicket. Watsons brought on a young off spinner at the Marchmont end – this made the leg side boundary about 3 feet away from the square and the off side boundary about 100 ft away – not the smartest end to choose from the young lad against 2 hockey players. Fair to say we capitalised on this … our partnership was 62 off 7 overs then Parkie was bowled.

This was the second funniest wicket of the day. Pitching just outside leg and travelling further down leg Parker tried to defend it but missed, it then hit his pad, his foot and rolled slowly onto the stumps tickling the bails off. He stood for a few seconds, gave a look of bemusement and disgust... then walked off.

Cruicky came in as cheery as ever, in the first three balls we ran 8 runs, at which point the garibaldi’s specials caught up with us and mark exclaimed that those would be the last of the 3s. The next shot was definitely a 3 but Mark refused to run them at all.

The partnership flourished, Mark played some actual cricket shots and I even got a 4 through the covers with a back foot drive! Unbelievable.

With Mark and me trotting along nicely I got my ton  and was given permission from Mark to have a swing! Not that I was going slowly before we were going at 8 an over! At the 28^th over they decided to bring on their 9^th bowler, 4, 2, top edge straight up – 4 12 year olds look like they are about to collide but a booming voice of the old boy who was the 9^th bowler got shot of them pretty quickly. He clutched it and I was gone. Out trotted Craig Wright – duck! 2^nd in 2 competitive games for the Cross.(he did score a few mid week against Grange cricket in the hockey v cricket game).

Jamie Johnstone have never scored a run in competitive cricket then hit 16 – including a huge 6 over to Jawbone Walk! Elmo finished not out and the funniest dismissal of the day was Matt Henton at no 11.  He took middle, took a good stance then preceded to leave a ball that pitched in line and hit the middle of middle stump!

Hiliarious and a good finish to a cracking innings 291 all out with 2 overs to spare!

We then had a cracking BBQ and then it started to rain … boooo!

So we took to the field and mucked about a bit as the ball got more and more out of shape – after 5 overs it looked like smudge’s dog had had his way with it!

Coco opened well but with no reward getting 0-13 off 8. Henton opened at the other end but because we thought we better tie up the 20 overs quickly to get a result he ended 3-16 after 4. Parker came on at the other end getting an lbw with his first ball – inspired captaining! 

We held 1 catch through Craigy Wright at point, pretty tough one too!

Craig ‘im a batsman’ Wright replaced Parker at the 20^th over he bowled darts – very similar to shifty – and was rewarded with the last wicket – coco did drop one and parker another!

Elmo was superb – 4 wickets for 2 runs – would have had 5 wickets for 0 if Coco could catch!

Anyway onwards and upwards – smellies will be difficult no doubt! But with captain Mcmonagle at the helm im sure we’ll be fine!

Smudger's 2x30th In Photos

Father of the club

Smujinder 'Smudger' Smudgerjee celebrated graduation from the famous Holy Cross Youth Academy as he turned 3x20 at Arboretum Road's infamous Green Room Nightspot on Saturday night.

News had reached the capital that Lawrie's Third Army had defeated a Largo battalion in a stirring encounter at St Andrews in the only Cross game to reach a conclusion. Whilst Twitter reported that El Presidente had been hitting big 6's, there was also relief that after losing his only pair of cricket trousers, Coco had been forced to purchase a new pair and was therefore not playing in his golden budgie smugglers. It'd been mischievously suggested that his missing breeks had simply got up and scarpered of their own accord!!!

Golden Balls McGill back in '69

The 1st XI had returned early from Fettes after thrashing Grange 2's 204-0 in a one-sided affair where it would probably be fairer to mention that Grange never really got started in their innings. The 2's game, at the Fortress itself, also fell victim to this cantankerous jet stream silly bother we've been enduring of late. This ensured a prompt start to the binge drinking for both teams.

The distance of the 3's from the birthday shenanigans meant the party would have to wait for the dazzling social racontuerism of Messrs McGill & Robertson. In the meantime the legendary anecdotes were provided by the hippest swinger in the club, Mr G Lohan. The highlight was the discovery that "Paxman was my fag". Those of us educated by the council dared not ask for a layman's translation.

One of the things Gerry has smoked???

The 3's began to arrive back in instalments, generally in order of virility (I'll leave it to others to decide in which order). Their arrivals were interspersed with appearances by Honorary Legends such as Cartwright (senior) and Mair (available for selection, but not selected!!!).

Shifty - 5for in a break from filming

Eventually El Presidente and Coco joined proceedings and the real BS could begin. President Maradona was able to declare "this is finally the club I wished it to become" as young Gaware lit the presidential roll-up completely unrequested. It was made obvious that the drink was taking effect when Zggy Cydzk didn't even attempt to pronounce the name of a fellow cricketer - "that whotsisname" - also sporting a Polski surname.

It was also my pleasure (totally wasn't) to reunite McGill with his errant trews. They had been discovered earlier by poor Raja who had heard a low humming noise emitting from deep within his cricket bag. They had to be extracted at arms length and placed in a sealed container before immaturely falling into my possession as Dougie declared 'last bag packed has to take them', placing me at a distinct disadvantage being the only bag left unpacked.

All that remains to be divulged is this rather fetching snap taken anonymously at the end of the evening. Should any Smudger offspring be reading, I'd recommend going no further, or at the very least, scrolling down very slowly...

One for Mrs Smudger

Clash of the Titans

Lets hope the weather holds this weekend so Arbo doesn't witness another scene such as this where a fragile old man was forced to arm wrestle a far stronger virile opponent for the amusement of a braying crowd. Disgraceful.

From the Archive (part 1 of a continuing series).

In the run-up to the Club's 60th Anniversary (2010), this blog will be featuring snippets from the Cross archives.

These words of wisdom (written by then club Secretary James Bradley) first appeared in the W. H. Mann Guide to Scottish Cricket 1999 but remain relevant:

'Next year we will [be] working on the simple equation (suggested by Father Jack*, and finally proved after 100 years [of] research by club mathematician Colin McGill), more drink = more beers'

*For younger readers, this is a reference to a character (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Jack_Hackett) in the Channel 4 situation comedy (and -for older readers- moderately amusing Hancock's Half Hour rip off) Father Ted (Hatrick Productions, 1995-8). Any resemblance between the character Father Jack and a living Holy Cross player is entirely intentional.