Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Broken Records!!!

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before
There I was just minding my own business the other evening whilst out for a drive when I heard Ms Hannah Cockroft on the old wireless.

Who she???

For those of you not up to date on the latest minority sport news, Ms Cockroft, who won gold medals at 100m & 200m at last years World Championships, has broken a 100m wheelchair world record at the new Lympik Stadium (T34 class). Her account of events interested me muchly.

On the morning of the event the competitors were to be bussed to the stadium, however the bus crashed on the way to the hotel to pick up the athletes. So taxi's were summoned. Alack, none of the taxi's were big enough to take Ms Cockroft's racing chair!!! Things began to get fraught. She was panicking that she wouldn't get there on time for what would be her only opportunity to race in the stadium before the Paralympics.

Eventually they managed to pack her and her chair off to the Olympic Park. On arrival the Jobsworths protecting our freedom wouldn't let her through the security cordon. Just in the nick of time she made it inside. Afterwards she said;

"I missed the warm up and had to just get my numbers on and go straight onto the track. It was the worst preparation I'd ever had before a race, my head wasn't in the right place at all,".

Regular readers will now see where I'm going with this. Here is the formula.

Fraught Preparation + No Warm-up = New World Record!!!

Would any sports scientists care to explain this to me.

Here is a report from the BBC. The actual radio broadcast I listened to mused somewhat further on how a world record could be set with basically the opposite of what is 'accepted' preparation for best performance.

When the Frazerio Spring finally happens, I shall outlaw this dangerous and counter-productive practice of 'warming-up' prior to partaking in activity.

And a wee bonus for the over 35's (99% of the club?) with this classic VT.

Friday, 17 February 2012

Ex-pat Pat to be an ex-pat

No caption required
Captaincy Race Blown Wide Open

Cross captaincy leadership hopeful Bishop 'Pat' Lynch is both delighted and gutted to announce that he is not much longer to be a Crosser.

Due to personal reasons, he (and his good lady) shall soon be making a return back to Australia just in time for winter and those chilly 20-odd degree temperatures. Indeed, the move 'home' should all be done & dusted prior to our new season.

Headlines

For the rest of us, with the AGM tomorrow, we've been spared just in the nick of time, from a seasons worth of amazingly imaginative 'Lynch Mob' headlines in the EEN.

Captaincy

The Bishop had recently been propelled towards the top of a long list of contenders for the 1st XI captaincy. As usual, I was absolutely bang on in my analysis when I said "the best & worst sledger in the club holds the fatal 'early front-runner' tag".

Barbarism

The Bish has of course endeared himself to Crossers on various counts in his short stint at Arbo. He single-handedly halted the avalanche of Fair Play Awards we'd come to take for granted with his vicious weekly denunciations of young children in opposing teams.

Homoeroticism

However, his influence wasn't all good. Avoiding all national stereotypes Big Pat loved a XXXX or three, preferably mixed in with a bit of male bonding in the form of manly arm-wrestling (due to Arbo's strict No Sheep policy) which he has introduced of a Saturday evening. Will there be a 'Bishop Lynch Trophy' inaugurated in 2012 for the competition he established???

Fielding

The Bish also excelled in setting new standards in the field. Even if, like me, you weren't actually there, you will still vividly recall 'that drop' at Grange Loan. The ball being passed along the slip cordon and placed into the big man's pocket before he contrived to grass it. Sadly I have to mention his gravity defying, full stretch, once in an era catch at Roseburn a week later.

Swansong

So, whilst there won't be a big psuedo-religious Aussie leading our troops onto the field of battle this coming season, Pat will of course be leading us into the Games Hall of battle in the LiveSportOnTV Indoor 6's at Liberton High School this evening at 7.30*. Any East Academy players reading this might want to rush along to hand out some jip before the opportunity for revenge expires.

Leaving Drinks

No details as yet, but I'm sure something will be arranged.

* Despite the 6's taking place at the same time and in the same place every week, there has been a 'muck up with the booking' and there will be no 6's tonight.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

The Abu Dhabi Downfall Postulation

'Scuse me umps, what did you think of that one?
I've been formulating a kernel of an idea for a while now and I'd like to put it out there and invite your thinkings on the subject.

As 'Village Standard' cricketers, we've all been involved in collapses or on the receiving end of hidings. Mostly this is easily explained away because the Oppo 2nd XI vice skippers mate happened to be in Edinburgh that week and he is the third Waugh twin, or maybe the pitch became unplayable at Tea after a seasonal downpour. Sometimes the 13 year old 4th change bowler in Division 7 will go on to become Murali or Warne and never better the 9-1 he took at Arbo. Simply put, there are usually very obvious reasons why one team trounces the other.

Scaling up now to the international stage. The number 1 Test ranked nation have been our southern cousins* for a wee while now (not that you ever hear them mention it). While this noble achievement was reached including the hiding of Australia** down there, the point is often made that there have been no victories over India, Pakistan or Sri Lanka in the back yards of those nations where Pace and Seam fade in the shadow of Turn. While this England mob are rightly ranked at number 1 just now, to move into the more transcendental all-time-great-sides lists, they're going to have to win a series or two against those sides, in those countries.

Therefore the series v Pakistan on neutral, but surely more Pakistan friendly turf has to be viewed as a stern test in the progression of this England side towards the pantheonic debates of all-time great status.

Received wisdom around the first test was that the pitch was decent for batting, but England simply couldn't cope with the regulation spin of Mr Ajmaal and took a horsing inside 3 days. Nothing too irregular, just an age old weakness being exposed once again.

However, in the 2nd Test, as a more professional and resourceful package than sides of yesteryear, England looked to have improved or acclimatised enough to the point where after 3 innings, Boycott (never wrong, ever) had bet his property portfolio on them levelling the series. Ajmaal was no longer a great threat and the England bowling and fielding performance and attitude were more or less at the level they have been for the last 3 years or more. There was very little to suggest what was about to happen.

England's new number 3?
As with all arguments, one can select the stats to back up the personal beliefs. I'll stick to just one. Between them, 9 England batsmen could muster only 13 runs in that 4th innings. Once the rot started, there seemed to be a collective infection of the English team and it wasn't just likely that they were rushing headlong towards calamity, but that there was absolutely nothing any of them could do to arrest the decline. The pitch wasn't spitting, the bowlers weren't on fire and the batsmen weren't Chris Martin's. Yet total defeat had somehow become inevitable.

Finally, you will be pleased to know, I'm reaching my point!!!

When a side is in meltdown and it is apparently nothing to do with ability, conditions, history, injuries, circumstance, coaching etc, when there is no obvious reason why an able side, in good mental health and with a track record of dealing with adverse situations begin to absolutely implode, I think there needs to be a name for the syndrome and I'm going to propose the following definition:

Abu Dhabi Downfall - when a sporting team, especially in cricket, succumb to a catastrophic loss of ability and form at the same time leading to inevitable defeat long before the end of the contest.

There is obviously the possibility that you think there was a more obvious reason for such an inept capitulation, I'd counter that any cricket team in any conditions would struggle to do that badly even if they tried to, never mind ones whose players are on about £300k a year.

Thoughts appreciated.

Apologies for those with a shorter attention span, I couldn't fit that into 140 characters.

* I've stated before, do so again now and no doubt will again in the future, that I think the England cricket team has to be renamed. Robert Croft, Eoin Morgan, Mike Denness etc show quite clearly (to me) that it's a British side, not an English one (no need to mention any overseas born 'Englishmen').
**Albeit a transitional Australian side beset by injuries and operating under a Selection Panel that would make its mid-80's English equivalent appear like enlightened tactical genuises.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Not a Funny Game

For those misguided Crossers who seem to think that cricket ought to be an enjoyable game:

http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/416628.html