The Crumbling Face of Italian Cricket?!?!?

Anyone requiring cheering up for the weekend need look no further!!!

After the grim snapshots of the erse end of our decrepit and crumbling institution please enjoy this much more uplifting photo of the erse end of another decrepit and crumbling institution clapping his peepers on the Danish PM.

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.

PS: Her name is Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

Hollywood Legend Pictured In Edinburgh

Family Day Out

It could have been any father out for the day with his boys to watch some cricket at Portgower Place on Sunday. But this wasn't just any family outing. Original James Bond star, McGill Collins, took his boys to the set of 90's blockbuster 'The Masterton Files' and regaled the youngsters with the tale of how he bowled Don Bradman twice with one ball in the semi final.

Young Chuckie McGill (back row, left) was overheard openly questioning his fathers version of events having recently studied the account of a witness to the filming who wrote everything down in a scorebook.

Without pausing for breath, the ageing megastar explained to the first twins he had out of wedlock, EC & CA Hurley (back row centre & middle row centre) how, despite winning multiple Oscars every time he makes a movie, studio bosses keep freezing him out of summer blockbusters and forcing him to turn out in low budget B-movies.

Despite this marginalisation, ‘Cocko’ Collins still manages to direct some independent movies of an evening. He recently cast Bollywood sensation Vikramabawz Groweary in ‘75’, a short film about a street urchin who buys a magical shirt on the internet and turns into a run machine.

Cocko’s other twins, Shane (beard) & Prat Blanchett (back row right) announced they hope to shoot a movie at Portgower Place one day, though due to legal wrangles, all sets have been moved to nearby studios 20^th Century Fettes until further notice.

Geordie McGill (middle row left) appeared to be yet again engaged in his addiction to voicemail interception.

Cocko is probably best known for his role as ‘Mitch McGill’ a Portobello lifeguard in the Scorcese epic Deep Slippy Gully.

Hello, this is your President calling...

Greetings, citizens. At this time of year we like to have a little get-together called the AGM. This is the annual opportunity for the plebs (that's you) to vote to have our more pathetic generals hurled from the Tarpeian Rock, and to elect their glorious successors to carry the standard into victorious battle. You will also have the opportunity to elect sundry eunuchs and scribes to positions of bureaucratic influence within the court, err, club.

Needless to say some of the more senior elections will be, how should I put it, "technical" procedures (and given the quality of the candidates I'm seriously considering appointing my horse as Club Captain), but you should still take advantage of the chance to have more mortal underlings thrown to the lions - it's such fun.

In the spirit of Bread and Circuses I have decreed that this year's event should start later than usual, at the fifth hour of the afternoon, so that we can all make a dash for the nearest taverna - to celebrate the deposal of the old captains and mourn the appointment of the new ones. We may even sample some exotic cuisine from the valley of the Indus. I hope this festive opportunity will result both in a very high turnout and in unusually rapid progress through the agenda.

As primus inter pares I am looking forward to giving every one of you the chance to buy me a drink. Now bring on the sword-swallowing midgets, before I simply die of boredom...