Handbags

It's a cause of ongoing bemusement when non-cricketers come up with that old 'its a gentlemans game' chestnut. In my experience contests epitomised by sporting behaviour and gentlemanly conduct are rare enough to warrant a special mention in match reports whilst the more regular incidents of 'bad behaviour' (or should that be perceived bad behaviour) are swiftly expunged from public view by Lord Admin's lawyers on a Sunday morning.

Was it just five days ago that the virtuous upholders of sporting integrity, the Australian cricketing public, were so worked up by a cheating Englishman, Mr Stuarty Broady, the man who once edged it and didn't walk - OMG strike him down before we're all infected - that they booed his every public appearance and in some publications even refused to print his name. Before those boo's could even die down, their skipper is fined for making a "sick taunt" (quote from the Daily Mail). For some reason belittling England with the game of cricket alone wasn't enough for the 'bantering' Clarke. To quote our great Prime Minister 'calm down dear'.

With the kids down under embroiled in a full-on game of handbags, it made me think of some of the greats of the past and how to really noise up the oppo.

The current tourists predicament brings to mind that of the 1974/5 touring side who sent an SOS to the 41 year old Colin Cowdrey. Two days after arriving he walked out to an ovation at the WACA. "How good to meet you" he said to Jeff Thomson who replied "That's not going to help you fatso, piss off".

Rewind to 1954 as the young Cowdrey prepared to disembark on his first Ashes tour. Frank Tyson saw "a spare stooped old man, dressed immaculately in a pin-stripe suit" telling Cowdrey "When you reach Australia, just remember one thing - Hate the Bastards!!!"  He spoke with such vehemence that Tyson asked George Duckworth who the old gent was, "That was Douglas Jardine".

Both sides as bad as each other?

The wisdom in these situations of course is if you can't take it, don't dish it. In 2003 Australia's favourite metronomic wicket taker lost the plot in spectacular fashion playing the Windies in Antigua. Setting the tone for misbehaving cricketers nicely, Shane Warne missed this one after failing a drugs test, reportedly taking a pill his Ma had given him to help with his appearance (source - the internet)!!!!

As the hosts chased down 418 in the 4th innings for victory, McGrath began utilising the breadth of his intellect to try and unsettle Sarwan. After a few overs of concerted hatred including repeated use of the word 'pussy', a bog standard retort provoked McGrath into a fit of rage ""If you ever f*****g mention my wife again I'll f*****g rip your f*****g throat out!".  Oooh-err. Chuckle at McGrath's precociousness as he bleats to the umpire about how wronged he has been with this now classic passage of footage.

Vik takes aim at Bonfield after another fraught  net session

Talking of Aussie fast bowlers, it hardly gets much better than Lillee v Miandad.

"Hello my goodness" exclaimed Tony Greig as Miandad retaliated with his cudgel after Lillee kicked out. Botham said later of the two notorious cricketing rascals "what happened at Perth was going to happen somewhere".

Almost makes one all nostalgic for those long past East League encounters with the likes of Cramond, Fauldhouse, Heriots 2's, Stew/Mel 2's, Accies...

PS: I don't think Call me Dave is very great at all.

Josimar beats Duncan Disorderly!!!

13 - Josimar - Brasil

In this part of the year where we can't/don't/won't play cricket, I feel we can entertain some chat on this venerable platform about other, possibly inferior sports.

A question in a radio show I was listening to got me thinking. It asked;

When you were growing up, or even now, who is your cult football hero?

An additional criterion is that they are not related to the club or country you support!!!

The second name that sprung to my mind (after burglar bashing Drunken Duncan Ferguson of course, excluded by being Scottish), was that of the almost too good to be true Brazilian right back at the Mexico 86 World Cup. I spraf fondly of course about the leg end that is JOSIMAR.

Drafted into the Brazil squad after an injury to regular right back Leandro, when the second choice right back Edson also became 'Dougied', Josimar stepped into the fray wearing the somehow perfect number 13 shirt and whapped in two of the best goals I can remember seeing in his first two appearances. And yet, these goals were almost eclipsed by a couple of even more perfect celebrations.

Relive them again here

v Northern Ireland

v Poland

I could watch these all day.

Anyone able to outdo the great Josimar???

Here is one of Big Dunc to keep you going.

Note the captains armband

1st XI v Grange II @ Fettes - 28/07/2012

Whilst some of the cricket wasn't the most picturesque, the setting wasn't too bad and it was a fantastic toss to lose. These are taken in the last 10 overs.

Bonfield playing in the V

Skipper square cuts

Bonfield defends.

Bonfield v ex Warwickshire captain Mike Powell

Russell showing off his technique

McOscar bats, bowls, keeps wicket and even does the scorebook.

Bonfield tickles one round the corner

Note the game on the pitch next to us had exited stage left and the covers were on whilst we soldiered on.

A familiar site at cricket grounds this summer - puddles.

Inverleith RFC - Race Night

 

Crossers are invited to a Race Night at Arbo next Saturday 26th.

Starts at 7:30pm, hosted by Inverleith Rugby Football Club.

It's in aid of Mike Gordon's daughter's charity.

Entry £5.

Kiwi Whine house as England go Back to Black

With the Rugby World Cup only a month away, there has been controversy from the England camp who have unveiled their new 'All Black' shirt which gets it's first outing against Wales this weekend.

This has stirred the people of New Zealand, including legend Jonah Lomu who has accused England of being 'disrespectful' to the World Cup hosts and Holy Cross legend Dougie 'Heketoro' Russell who can be seen here at the Activcity Finals day practising his very own Haka.