Crossers Are Revolting

Fidel - not serious enough!!!

Late last season I was set the task of sorting out the apparent shambles that's being made of the way things are run by our democratically elected representatives. My response was that when the Uni-educated intelligentsia are asking unemployed slackers to come up with answers, we must be in even more trouble than we thought. The intelligentsia replied that a certain Karl Marx was unemployed when he came up with his stuff, and so I set to work.

I'm nearing the completion of my Masterplan (don't worry Mr Admin, I'll email it rather than post it here), but as a taster, I thought I'd leak my Interim Cabinet to the public. I've been delighted to be able to populate my Revolutionary Government almost entirely with noble Brothers of the Cross. In fact, I suspect we'd possibly make a better government than cricket team!!!

I would also like to make it clear that availability issues shall not be tolerated. Once selected for your country, you must serve. This isn't a dumb system where egotistical power-hungry megalomaniac's are allowed to fight tooth and nail to gain office through a 'democratic' process. This system relies on your Benevolent Dictator (me of course) picking the best talent and getting the job done good and proper!!!

One Country

Many Regions

The only actual politics I'll state as a precursor to understanding the appointments is, the UK shall remain as a whole (see physical map (left)), but it shall be devolved (see political map (right)). This logic shall, in due course be applied to the Island of West Britain, as yet I'm undecided whether to give the north back to the south, or whether to annex the whole flamin lot of it!!! Either way, you just know they won't be happy.





Head of State
Ceremonial Queen - King Alex (House of Salmond)
Ceremonial Heiress - Prince Colin (House of McGill)
Welcome to your new royal family. They are purely ribbon-cutters and hand shakers and must travel around together at all times in case there's an accident!!! Also, until we come up with a system for selecting these puppets, Prince Tommy (House of Sheridan) is 1st reserve as soon as he is released from the clink for bringing down the News of the World (I still don't understand how Sheridan lied and got the jail, whilst Bird, Coulson etc also lied but walked free, but hey, our Revolucion will stop such injustices occurring in future).

Head of Government
Party Chairdude - J.K. Fraser
Deputy Chairdude - M Broonster

Treasury
Chancellor of the Exchequer - Mr Admin

• Chief Secretary to the Treasury - C.O. Smith
• Paymaster General - Bishop Lynch
• Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury (Chief Whip) - A Graham

Treasury Concern - Where can we possibly make savings???

Home Office
Secretary of State for Home Affairs - C.J. Ellis

• Minister of State for Safety - S.M. Bonfield

Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs - R Dannreuther

Secretary of State for Defence - N Chomsky
This should free up a large chunk of the budget for other things as I doubt he'll be much of a fan of threatening to nuke folk.

Secretary of State for Justice - E.C. Smith

Secretary of State for Health - C.A. Smith
This post shall likely be transferred to S.M. Bonfield once C.A.S. is deported & S.M.B. has implemented his Safety reforms (for which, you must await the manifesto itself).

Secretary of State for Education - PVB.

Secretary of State for Business - R Worsnop

Secretary of State for Work & Pensions - Comrade Geddes

First task for Comrade Geddes - benefit scroungers!!!

Secretary of State for Transport - N Webb

Secretary of State for Energy & the Environment - El Presidente

Department for Culture, Media & Sport

Secretary for Culture Media & Sport - Pat Nevin

• Minister of State for Culture - Lauren Laverne
• Minister of State for Media - Ian Hislop
• Minister of State for Sport - Baroness Grey-Thompson

Secretary of State for International Development - M Din

Secretary of State for Rural Affairs - R Bainbridge

Minister for Women & Equalities - Gorgeous George Galloway

Department for Tourism

Secretary of State for Tourism - King Alex

Assistant Secretary of State for Tourism - Prince Colin

Parliament of South East Britain

Regional Chairdude - S.G. Pickering

Location - Yorkshire

Parliament of Northern Britain

Regional Chairdude - J.Douglas Russell

Location - Holyrood

Parliament of Offshore West Britain

Regional Chairdude - A Quinn

Location - Stormont

Parliament of West Britain
Regional Chairdude - to be decided
Location - to be decided

Secretary of State for the Commonwealth - V Gaware

All suggestions and comments shall be considered, but should they not be 'right-minded', you may get a visit from my Head of Secret Police, a certain Michael De La Rugbyclub (no picture supplied as I've discovered it's quite difficult to get a picture off the internet of secret police).

Apologies to any able bodies who haven't received a ministerial brief. First of all, the Home Secretary is going to have his work cut out when I unleash my Manifesto so you may get roped into helping 'roll the wicket' or 'put out the flags' at the Home Office. If that's not your bag, I doubt it will be long until I have to start sacking folk for breaches of the Ministerial Code so there should be some vacancies soon enough.

Parks Trophy Final (2nd attempt)-WEDNESDAY

Confirmation that Holy Cross take on Murrayfield-Dafs in the Parks Trophy tomorrow (Wednesday 8th) at Newfield.
Game starts at 5.45.

supporters welcome.

It is hoped that the Arbo bar will open at 8pm.

Bang-Bang.....Bang!

Saturday results digest (July 23rd)

Div 1-At Fettes
Grange 2nds 210-8
Holy Cross 211-7

Div 5-Arboretum
Falkland 3rds for 130/8. G. Lohan 5-18.
Holy Cross 2nds 131-3 (21 overs) J. Bates 53, N. Shazad 48.

Div 8-Campbell Pk
Holy X 3rds 190 for. PVB 83.
DT 128 all out after 32 overs.

Further details to follow.

Annual Holy Cross BBQ - Early Warning!!

In a blatant and gratuitous attempt to grab your attention I'm taking the bold effort of announcing the date for the annual club BBQ early as opposed to the traditional 3 days beforehand.

It seems the fixture list has declared 30th of July to be the auspicious date when all teams play in closest proximity to each other.

As always it is an open event and with this much notice there no excuses for not bringing your partner, kids or friends along. *

* The club accepts no responsibility for the fallout of your partner discovering how and with who you spend so much of your precious summers weekends.

Cross beat the rain...and their opponents as Psycho goes on the rampage!

Div 1 (Grange Loan)

Holy Cross 1st XI 144ao (S. Bonfield 45, C. Ellis 38; H. Aslam 4-26)
Carlton 2s 121 (N. Pietsch 48, Majumder 30).
Worsnop 7-1-20-2
Bonfield 8-1-20-1
Lynch 10-3-22-2
Russell 10-1-18-1
Ellis 6-0-21-2
Bainbridge 6.2-1-15-0

On a tricky wicket we were soon 16-3 as Owais (after starting nicely) played across an straight one and the two Smiths were undone by extra bounce from Mackay. Bonfield and Ellis put together a solid partnership of 62 before (just as he found some fluency against the Carlton spinners) Ellis tried to cut one too close to him. The lower middle order failed to build on this decent platform, with only Dougie (a v nice 18) and Lynch (10) getting past 1. When Bonfield fell for a very handy 45 the innings rather subsided with several ill-advised lofted strokes against Aslam's well-flighted leggies; we were all out in the 44th over about 30 short of a good score.

Carlton also started badly in the face of testing opening bursts from Bonfield & Worsnop. Shannon getting McPherson ct behind for 0 for the 2nd time in 13 days (6 balls in total) and Robin getting Barrett (who was unable to take advantage of a horror drop by Pat in Shannon's 1st over) and then Hunt. But Carlton had depth in batting and Majumder and Duerden played some fine shots as a few looser deliveries were sent down. They put on 48 before Pat had Duerden lbw and this sparked a collapse: from 57-3 to 66-7. Pat was in the middle of a hostile spell: the highlight the bouncer that Well's gloved behind. However our momentum was somewhat checked by the frequent interruptions for rain-thankfully none of the showers lasted too long and the covers kept the pitch and footholds in a playable condition.

Dougie also bowled very nicely, including a fine c & b off Majumber who had seemingly targeted him. However Pietsch (who had scored a good 60-odd in similar conditions/ circumstances at Arbo recently) remained. Bimbo bowled a good late spell to ensure that the required run rate remained high-a late maiden by Shannon also helped in this regard. Only Aslam offered him much support, but once they were 9 down Pietsch found another gear and he put on 24 with Mackay (1*) before a mix up left Pietsch scrambling in the mud just short of his ground (the equation at this point was 24 req of 4). Hardly a perfect performance (as well as a disappointing batting performance, there were 2 v bad drops that might have cost us badly on another day) but a good game to win versus able opponents.

Div 5 (Arboretum)
Morton 229-8 (Nathan 64) lost to Holy Cross 2nds 230-3 (J Bates 129*)

Div 8 (Station Road, St Andrews)
Holy Cross 3rds 122 : Largo 3rds 116.

further details to follow....