Farewell to CA

As you'll be aware, Calum is heading off to Australia this month.

To bid him farewell, the soc sec has suggested that Crossers convene at St Vincents on St. Vincent Street on Friday 13th Jan - from 7pm onwards.

Clear Your Diaries - Friday 23rd September, Arbo, 7pm till Bedtime

Crossers, it gives the Management great pleasure to announce a Club Evening of which Jake and Elwood would be proud.


Making a very welcome return to Arbo will be former Club President and underarm leg-break legend Chris "the King" Kerr. Chris has agreed to regale us with tales from the days of rampant substance abuse and embarrassing facial hair. Now who wouldn't be interested in that? According to Chris, if you can remember the Seventies you're old enough to have forgotten them, so he will no doubt be bringing back some memories long since emotionally blotted out by the Club's senior players. As a congenial raconteur of great wit, King will delight Crossers of all ages and IQs.


A tough act to follow, for sure, but headlining our Crossational evening will be none other than the Grandaddy of Groove, the Veteran of Vibes, the Gerryatric Plank-Spanker himself and his ensemble of other folk whose children have stopped paying the maintenance.


Watch out for these kicking covers of venerable British Rock:


"Dazed and Confused"


"Ramble On"


"I'm Alive!?!"


"Who Are You?"


"Magic Bus Pass"


"Back From the Dead" and


"When I was Sixty-Four".


Mandy has kindly agreed to supply a suitably extravagant finger buffet (with all the crusts cut off) and a jumbo bag of Werther's Originals. The bar will of course be open for Horlicks and Lucozade with a two-for-one on Harvey's Bristol Cream.


Entry for over-21s only at a cost of only four pounds ten and six (or a fiver for cash). Come one, come all, because it's coming to all of us one day.

Breaking News....Missing Edinburgh Man 'safe and well'

An international manhunt involving various border authorities has ended with the man reunited with his wife - on holiday on the island of Bermeja. Her early morning call had sparked a wave of panic amongst Crossers (who was going to roll the wicket?) and the UK Treasury (who else would maintain UK sales of cigarettes and whisky?).

The man had last been seen - in the vicinity of Newfield - accepting a lift from a suspicious owner of a white van. Though supposedly en route to the Old Bell public house (Causewayside), he had not been seen since. His whereabouts during the 'missing hours' remain a mystery. This hasn't prevented an orgy of speculation, such as this from a 'RB': 'had he gone out s*****ng with S*****rs?'.