Holy Cross ACC v Edinburgh CC

With the mercury threatening to tip into the second half of single figures, the winter snows now only restricted to higher ground and the Caledonian mistral easing down to mere icy gale levels, turns out its time for us northern Brits to pretend summer is once more upon us (or at the very least imminent) and engage in our annual sporting flagellation's by partaking in the pastime known as cricket.

Holy Cross 1's have a new skipper this season. A keen and able individual known as Radge who likes smashing it out the park as regularly as possible. So far so good. His naive optimism at the embarkation point of the 'Radge Era' compelled him to err into comedy with his first captatorial decree. After declaring my availability I received an email;

"Home game 1pm start. 12 o'clock meeting at Arbo sharp". Comedy gold!!!

Arriving bang on 1pm, I quickly discovered the wife had forgotten to check I'd packed my breeks, meaning not just playing like a total amateur all afternoon, but looking like one too, being forced to field half clad in denim.

So I missed about the 1st three overs or so of the scheduled 35 per side, cleverly foregoing any need for a warm-up. By the time I entered the arena, nothing much had really happened. We seemed to be playing Edinburgh, but we also appeared to actually be Edinburgh as well, with more Edinburgh CC attire on our side than HX clobber. Probably a devious captaincy ploy to befuddle any potential skullduggery or something I suspected (though we still didn't get any LB's).

Asif (6-1-32-1) and Raz Ahmed (7-1-23-1) opened from the Castle End and Harbour End respectively without making the breakthrough after 4 overs apiece. First change Farooq (7-2-22-4) drew first blood bowling Majeed for 11.

Apologies as the scorebook standards demanded by ancient club scribes weren't fully adhered to, meaning details proving elusive.

Third change Dom McMonagle (or J Mack as the scorebook has him) finished with 2-36, his spell an interesting three way combination of marginal legside wides (not a criticism of him or the umps, that was what had been agreed pre-match), straight sixes and wickets.

The skipper also had a chuck showing a bit more control than his band of bowling brothers (e.g. less wides) but not quite matching the accuracy of Farooq or threat of Asif.

Pick of the Edinburgh batters was opener K Hussein who seemed to adjust to the occasional slow/low Arbo track better than most, right up until totally misjudging a Dom half tracker which didn't really get up and didn't really come through. Hussein tried heaving it onto Arboretum Road a full thirty seconds before the ball arrived on the off stump departing for an innings best 39.

A decent effort by both sides in the 'stiff' conditions, Edinburgh posting 157 (only 10 men, 20 wides) in the 33rd over, somewhere around par for April.

Raja and Owais opened the Cross response, but the latter was back in the hutch before I even began spectating. New vice captain Euan House lasted three balls, the chat on the boundary being he 'got a jaffa'. Raja also rejoined his team mates for 13 leaving the hosts wobbling at 23-3. Farooq (15) and Adnan (12) began the rebuilding with a partnership of 30. Farooq also provided decent support to Asif taking the Cross to 117 by the time he was out in the 27th over.

But the wintry conditions had already 'Dougied' Asif's hammy, Adnan rejoining the fray as a runner. Despite being new to the club, they all quickly adopted the Holy Cross tradition of running confusion, at one point it even looked like Adnan (the runner) might need a runner, leading to conjecture about how many batsmen who couldn't run we could fit onto one cricket square.

With Farooq's departure, the short-trousered McMonangle made his way to the crease with visible intent!!! Most of our running, you'll never believe this, had been more 'ambly' than rapid, the run rate was creeping up and time was running out. Dom made his intentions clear maximising the scoring opportunities hurrying along a startled looking Adnan while Asif continued punishing the bad balls with 2's, 4's and the odd 6.

Michael could hardly contain his excitement at this stage even breaking into a one man cheer when Asif was dropped in installments at long off.

As the total passed 150 and a Cross victory rolled closer, news was relayed from the scorer that McMonagle, for all his action, efforts and enterprise, having been at the crease since the scoreboard read 117, had still not actually got off the mark. He'd maxed out on wides, byes and leg byes but was yet to actually get a run all to himself. And so it continued with Asif and extras with Dom's pace between the wickets carrying us home in the 33rd over. Asif (jug!!!) making a match winning 81 not out and Dom one of the best 0 not outs you will see. Even Coastal Ken (padded and due in at 9) nodded with admiration at the next generation of coastals coming through.

A final word to the only other home player not mentioned. Navraj didnt get to bat or bowl. When I pushed him as to how he'd describe himself, he replied 'well I've not played since school, met Robin at a party and he got me to come along and if its OK with you, I'd prefer to delay identifying whether I bat or bowl for a week or two yet'. I suspected he'll fit right in before he clinched it by saying 'and I'm only available til July'. That's like the perfect template for a Crosser is it not.

C'mon the Cross!!!

Disappointment as AGM doesn't coincide with Scotland playing in 6 Nations

Two posts in a row without any visual stimulation??? There shall be no hat-trick for the texties on my watch!!!

Be there or be compost

For anyone new to Presidential re-elections (HX AGM's), here is a photo of last years stitch-up. The Green Room seldom looks this good. Although there is nothing at all sinister in these jovial gatherings, Messrs Astley & Dannreuther have not been heard from since when they were rumoured to have 'apologised' for their non-attendance and 'left' the club.

El Presidente may come across as a happy-go-lucky, port swilling, be-bearded, gardening teddy bear, but the evil capitalist oinker that he has tried to stuff deep back inside can rear it's ugly head without any warning. It is my understanding that poor Roland (who survived a brush with Patsy Putin) is pushing up the begonia's in Shifty's new town allotment whilst The Good Doctor gets a monthly rotate in the Presidential Compost Heap.

Dearest Leader ever

Those previous Presidential Elections results in full:
(Candidates ~ share of vote)


2008
E Presidente ~ 106% (record share topped up with postal votes)
S Russell ~ 2% (dispatched East to Siberiapans)


2009
E Presidente ~ 112% (record share of the vote as popularity rises)
D Craig ~ 0% (banned from the club sine die)



2010
E Presidente ~ 107% (obviously thought 2009 winning margin may be viewed as suspicious)
S Saunders ~ -3% (told to go away, but likely to turn up out of the blue at any time)



2011
E Presidente ~ 118% (record breaking share of the vote)
M Din ~ 3% (greatest ever runner up score, but record margin of defeat to boot)

1sts v Watsons 2's - Skipper Arrives Early For Next Seasons Match

Quick Quiz Question (answer at end of report):

Which letters are missing? A, B, D, F, G, J, K, L, N, O, P, Q, R, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.



The skipper at around 1pm on Saturday???

The first sign that things weren’t all they should be was when I received a text from Bainbridge at 12.57 saying “Starting, I won the toss”. Worrying. The skipper had asked me during the week if I could keep wicket, so I knew vice-skip Simon wasn’t playing, but where was The Skip?

One minute later, when I arrived, I discovered I was one of the lucky few to keep my place after the Parks Trophy victory three days earlier. Out went Pickering, Webb, Gaware & Lynch in a Romanov style cull. In were Morcom, Jones, Killey & Trewartha. Nick Jones, who I’d never met before, had his pads and gloves on ready to keep. So I assumed he was a Watsonian and thought we must be batting. That we only had 10 men and no match ball, batting would be the only sensible choice really. Until introductions were made and I realised my assumptions of normality were going to be tested to the max. Our 12^th game of the season and our 4^th keeper in the ongoing mass rotational experiment that we call Selection. And we were bowling.

Bimbo, now with a 100% record of winning tosses, immediately ceded control of proceedings to Frazerio. A dumb move. Any fool (or uncle Jo) knows that as soon as you get a sniff of power, you hang onto it and begin plotting the downfall (or preferably death) of any close rivals. If he’d held on to the mantle of power, he could have been opening the bowling for years to come. But as soon as I resumed the role, all the old insecurities of high office came flooding back. Immediately spotting the threat of Bainbridge to my acting position of command, I had to put him in his place (deepest fine leg and not opening the bowling).

With Lynch and Warsnap somewhere else and Bimbo in purdah (definition; the seclusion of women from the sight of men) on the boundary, I chucked our ‘borrowed’ ball (for we had none of our own) to Bonfire and asked Gary ThreeforFourforFiveforWartha (a name of Cornish origin apparently) to take the second over.

Papa Bonfield, suffering a bit from writers block struck with his very first ball (is that too obscure a cross-reference from last Saturday’s report?) enticing a snick that Jones happily snaffled and the Cross juggernaut was on the road again. Bonf proclaimed the virtues of the very short lived innings as, usually, the East League hackers aren’t good enough to nick his pearlers. About time somebody was good enough to do so!!!

Our favourite Watsonian now entered the fray and struggled against Trewartha, edging a couple through the burgeoning slip cordon before tickling one to your vice-vice-skipper at gully. Flannigan was next to go, tied down by Trewartha, he had a flail at one and missed, before losing his off stump next ball.

Er, still no skipper at this point. Brian ‘the one-armed bandit’ Fraser was in attendance in spectator mode and offered to do sub fielding duties. However this just reminded me of an old family story. My Grandad once told me, over a Werthers Original, that during the Second World War, one of his brothers was late back to his barracks after a period of leave. His CO had uttered the immortal words “I’d rather go into battle a man down than take Fraser”. The regiment then went off and were almost wiped out in one of those glorious futile gestures. So Brian was given a Coms role as we requested he found out where the F the skipper was. Difficult as he wasn’t answering his phone (/awake yet).

On the battlefield, the carnage continued. Yellowlees was next up. Looking good, he became ‘engaged’ in some ‘chat’ with a simmering Bainbridge (the ghost of the Bish alive and well?). When the Bimbo replaced Bonners, he thought long and hard about which of his arsenal of deliveries he’d deploy to dismiss his verbal nemesis. He decided on a hybrid of the half tracker and the long hop. A gleeful Yellowlees threw his bat at it, but could only chop it onto his timbers and off he went wondering if there were better ways to spend a Saturday.

The wireless operator reported at 1345 that contact had been made with the skipper and he sounded “groggy”. He was at his folks and would be going to Arbo to get his car and kit and should be half an hour.

Gary T scalped another in the meantime and the hosts were 41 for 5 against our charging one man Light Brigade.

After 3.5 overs of mediocrity I decided to relieve Bainbro of his toil, before he produced the first good ball of his spell to end his fourth over. Cue the first Hissy Fit of the day when I thanked him for his contribution. The tiara was thrown to the ground as he wailed something or other about just having found his rhythm. Dabbing his tears away I agreed to allow him to continue while Killey replaced Trewartha at the other end.

Sim & Boorman had now began a counter offensive. Defying the evidence of what went before, although the ball was quickly losing its shine in the drizzle, they continued to play shots when they could and kept the score ticking along at a healthy rate. Hissy Fit #2 arrived in the form of young Ellis. Asked to bowl at the Colinton Rd end, he was inconsolable. So Dougie offered himself up instead allowing Precious Prince Charles to get his way. I’m going soft in my old age.

Drinks came and went, but still no Dear Leader, until, in the 27^th over, our spirits were lifted. Out of the drizzle appeared that small red fanny magnet (the MR2, not Euan) and our cup winning skipper, like Marty McFly emerging from the DeLorean (Back To The Present???), arrived pitchside. In the 28^th over we were a team again.

Scrabbling around looking for a partnership breaker, I decided to ask Morcom to bowl an over, but first tried Gary T who still had two overs left. Three wickets later (figures of 6-39 for Trewartha), Morcom’s brief was truly defunct, though he still got one over as consolation anyway. Watsons had made a more than useful 92 for their 6^th wicket.

A further change recalling Russell and Bonfield was enough to take the final two wickets in 9 balls and Watsonians were all out for 145 in the 38^th over. Considering we had 10 men for most of it, a changed team, no office bearers and the quality of the opposition, I thought we did pretty well, although there was a murmur or two that we should have got them for less. If only I’d brought myself on 1^st change eh…

A mightily splendid, but disappointingly meagre Tea was then taken at Myreside where the increasing rain chased their 1^st XI off at Myreside just as we settled down to watch some ‘proper’ cricket being played.

And that was it.

In summation, another great performance by Gary T, averaging less than 7 with the ball and a strike rate under 12 in all 1^st XI games this year (it also transpired that Gary scored his "first" hundred against Watsons, not bad for our number 11). Shannon getting a batsman to nick a ball also deserves a second mention. Good efforts in tough conditions by the other bowlers too. And yet again in the field, it doesn’t seem to matter who is playing, our fielding was excellent once more, the only drops were two toughies behind the stumps by a useful looking stand-in keeper. The total lack of nets seems to be paying off spectacularly!!!!

S. Bonfield     6.3-2-16-2

G. Trewartha 10-1-39-6

Bainbridge     7-1-25-1

Killey             3-0-23-0

Russell           5-1-17-1

Ellis               6-0-17-0

Morcom         1-0-7-0

Quick Quiz Answer: E.C.S.M.I.T.H.

"It was one of those nights that just gets away from you and you can't bring it back"

Cross Stay Active

Activcity Trophy-at Meggetland (7th July).

Boroughmuir 124-7 (20 overs)
M. Sachdeva 45, S. Ahmed 21, Ashish 20*
Bonfield 4/0/20/1
Lynch 4/0/19/1
Russell 4/0/23/0
Ellis 4/0/29/2
C. A. Smith 4/0/24/2

Holy Cross 125-6 (17.3 overs)
S. Pickering 41, C. Ellis 18, V. Gaware 17.
A. Talreja 3/16

A steady enough performance but we perhaps ought to have won more more comfortably against an under-strength Boroughmuir side. We were slighty sloppy in the field and the bowling was ok/god rather than outstanding.
Anyway 124 was not a big score given the outfield-though the pitch was tricky: Talreja hitting the ridge at the 'Slateford end' quite regularly.
After a strong start (led by Spick) a mid-innings wobble gave Boroughmuir hope. Some sensible batting (assisted by some looser back-up bowling) took us past the B'Muir score.

elsewhere, Coco's midweekers were apparently 'mashed by OCCC with overs & wickets to spare at Arbo.