Mixed fortunes for the Cross.

Given that it was a sunny afternoon I decided to wander down and see how the Cross were getting on. I was impressed by the young athletes flinging themselves around the park...but I soon moved on from The Grange and arrived at Arbo.

There, a familiar looking 2nd XI were in confident mood having bowled out Glenrothes 3rds for 103. Despite arriving late (forcing Michael to sub field) Smudger picked up 5 wickets.

I nipped over to Inverleith to catch the final 7 balls of the match.. The firsts had recovered from 35/6 thanks to a decent partnership between Owais and Robin but 84 was never likely to test SMRH 2's (especially on a true artificial pitch..)-they surpassed HX's total in just under 20 overs. Disappointing after last week's good start to the season.

Back to Arbo. Coastal Ken had been dismissed (a lengthy duck) but Ziggy (47no) and JB (35no) knocked off the runs with relative ease (even if Jon did receive a couple of let-offs). Confidence building win for the twos.

Post match drinks in the Arbo sun made me think I'd stepped through a wormhole...same people*, same view... same chat..
*in fairness there were a few new faces, which is encouraging to see.

But where is McGILL?????

2nd's v Penicuik (away)

Me next Saturday (Dougie keeping wicket)

When the 1's played at Marchmont a week past Saturday, I inside-edged the fastest ball of the season (at any level) onto my shin. It smarted somewhat (understatement) and has been playing up through various sizes and colours ever since, even necessitating a lovely wee trip to A&E (160 mins processing time, sort it out Broonster) to enquire as to the completeness or otherwise of the shinbone (technical term) last Monday evening (after 2 nights of drinking had failed to mend the injury).

Therefore I had to sit it out last weekend.

Even a strangulated text from the hero of the selection process claiming we were struggling for numbers (tell me something new) couldn't break my resolve. I was fairly confused about the enquiry "will you be fit enough for the 2's then?". Is anyone?? What is 2's fitness exactly??? Does 'Unfit for cricket' = '2nd team regular'????

In the meantime, the 3's game was abandoned a day early and so the availability issues must have eased.

Serendipitously the 2's were visiting my home village of Pennycook, somewhere underneath Edinburgh on the border of The Borders. Splendid I thought. A few cheap sherbets in a lovely setting whilst our battle hardened veterans smoted the countryside whippersnappers. The teas are usually well worth plundering too. All good. Might be worth getting injured more often...

As you drive up Kirkhill Road, you get a glimpse of the ground through the gate, before you pass the wall, view the field and then the scoreboard. As I passed the gate I caught site of a baggy green in the field. Must have won the toss looking to blast the home team to smithereens. Clever!!!

Past the wall and a quick neb at the scoreboard - WTF - PCC 40 odd for 1 chasing 61. Good grief, gadzooks and once more, WTF. I was out the car and hopping round to the scorehut faster than you could say Oscar Pistorius. Hector, a permanent fixture in the Penicuik scorehut, long ago christened 'Hectors Hoose', showed me the damage. Some of the top order had reached double figures, then the home side cheekily introduced a spinner called Pace who took 5-for and ripped through the Cross tail. Superted and all!!!

"Missing a few regulars?" Hector politely enquired. "Eh nut" I responded counting at least 7 bona fide 2nd team regulars in play.

My eyes didn't deceive me either, there were only 10 men. If the 3's were off, and the 2's had 10 men, and McGill wasn't one of them, it could only mean one thing. Yes, Colin McGill was surely deid. Reeling from this news I was distracted as the Cross made a breakthrough and a team mate of mine from my previous life at Kirkhill, Cliff Hutt, was sent back to the huttch (so sorry) by Lord Admin. Could our spinner now match the earlier feats of Mr Pace?

No, no he absolutely could not!!!

In no time Penicuik had passed the total. The only actual part of the play I can recall is the final ball when the scores were tied, bowled by Lord Admin. It arrived at the batsman about spam height and was hatcheted in the direction of midwicket. The batsmen didn't even need to run. Later, as I rammed a mini sausage roll into my gob, I enquired after Lord Admin "what was going on with that last ball ya fanny?". To which his Lordship responded "I thought if I'm ever going to bowl my wrong'un, that was the time". So next seasons Division 5 batsmen, you have been warned.

All over by 4pm.

After almost witnessing such a terrible performance, with some amount of trepidation I asked "are you guys safe". Being a serious situation, the actual meaning bypassed the downhearted troops, "oh yes" said Smujinder, "we've won all our home games and lost all our away games". Fortress Arbo indeed.

And which fate had befallen poor Coco??? It was more gruesome than I could ever have imagined. He'd been drafted into the 1's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ziggy Changed My Life

A programme for 2nd teamers:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00rrvv9/Your_World_Ziggy_Changed_My_Life/

Bates and Zig propel 2nds.

Ists.
Div 1 (Arboretum)

Boroughmuir 8-0 (1.4 overs) vs Holy Cross.

match abandoned-pitch deemed to be too wet to continue.

2nds
Div 5 (Inverleith Park-Artificial)
[delayed start-match reduced to 40 overs per side]

Holy Cross 2nds 251/3 (40 overs)
J. Bates 103, A. Cydzik 64*, N. Webb 37.

OC's 169/7 (40 overs).
V. Mohanan 38, K. Thompson 34, A. Tocher 31

Out of this World

Holy Cross fielders have recently become used to objects falling from a great height....over their head but...


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/7909343/Meteorite-lands-on-cricket-pitch-during-county-match.html

Patel Partnership rescues 1sts

Saturday Scores digest:

1st XI - Boroughmuir v Holy Cross at Meggetland

Holy Cross (20pts) 238ao, C Ellis 124, M Patel 61, R Boyapati 3 for 55
beat
Boroughmuir (10pts) 150ao, S McGrath 67

A 111 run partnership (club record? - club stattos will check) for the 8th wicket between the returning Manon and cje was the basis of the above-par total; rescuing us from 104-7. We completed a satisfying victory via a controlled bowling and fielding display.

EN report here (!):
http://sport.scotsman.com/cricket/Ellis-declares-Holy-war-on.6374097.jp

the 2nds beat Mufs 3rds
Runs for Mr Admin (74) and Nippun (84) and solid contributions from Ziggy and Andy Q helped them to 270-4, Mufs falling 70-odd short.

3rds
Leith FAB 3 1st Innings 152/7 Closed (Overs 40)
J Williams 39* N Wilson 25 Naseem Khan 22 J Ray 1/23 K Geddes 2/25 R Ellis 2/29 C McGill 1/27 Holy Cross 3 1st Innings 133/7 Closed (Overs 40)
R Ellis 32 J Watt 1/6 Naseem Khan 1/20 S Jameson 1/26 M Watt 2/43 G Fisher 2/23

Beware the lesser spotted hoodie

Cricketers in the East of Scotland are asked to be on the lookout for a rare type of hunting bird which can impersonate other birds and cause havoc on a Saturday afternoon.

The bird is the Amjid Lesser spotted hoodie, and it was spotted at Campbell Park recently, where it donned bat and pads and reached the crease before the real batsman could beat it to the crease; it is thought to have attended cuckoo school to learn its impersonating skills, but has declined the course in simple arithmetic.

Last year it was spotted many times by twitchers in Western Union cricket but in the East it first appeared in August 2005 when the eagle-eyed Carlton Forrest Crow spotted one at Academy Park. After that it seemed to migrate to Dunfermline for a few years before dying out there. Two-dogs fears it might emigrate to Spain and damage the tourist industry.

It has the ability to change its plumage to white and is such a swift bird that only the Red-footed Oumigoulie Geddesburd could possibly fend it off and beat it to the crease. Leading birdwatcher Ziggy explains: I’ve known some fast burds in my time and can tell you this Geddesburd gets to the wicket like greased lightening ; two years ago it beat the Cocococo bird to the crease before it could finish its 42nd cigarette of the day, causing it to sqwark a lot; other birds like the bearded lesser spotted Amjid wouldn’t be a match for it either, as the Fraserbird would attest; after all, the bearded lesser spotted Amjid is a lovely friendly bird but runs with the speed of a crippled snail and is the only East League bird ever to have been dismissed “timed out”.

The other problem with the Lesser spotted hoodie is that it rather likes to home in on the Chuckie bear-faced Lyre bird which is reputed to hang out at Arbo. It likes to b*gg*r the innocent Lyre bird, and even when the Lyre bird or Spickerhen appeals to its attacker, all one can hear is the hoodie squawking “outside off” or “going down leg” or “too low” or (when replying to the Penikuikaburra) “pitched on leg."

El presidente at Arbo, the Shifty Hawk fears that the breeding season may result in an epidemic of hoodies.

The local table tennis league have been advised to be on the look-out. To be sure it is a fearsome bird.

Feeling grumpy 'is good for you'

surely this explains the er... success of the club over the last 60 years:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8339647.stm

certainly going by the postings here (including those censored) this week, we ought to have a successful weekend...

Bainbro informs me that the top ten most grumpy players this week were:

1. 'Mr Anonymous' who responded to Ziggy's comments re the thirds.
2. Charlie all Saturday and all Sunday.
3. Shannon.
4. Ziggy after finding out that the 2nds had lost by a tiny fraction of a run.
5. Ziggy after realising he had 10 players while the thirds had 12.
6. Mr Admin after being triggered AGAIN.
7. Coco after finding out he had 8 players (later rounded up to 12) and losing his best bowler.
8. Bimbo after getting out to a cross-batted swipe when well set.
9. Sandy getting a last minute call to go to all the way to Fauldhouse.
10 Spickers after a fielder had the temerity to catch him.

McGill's Midweek Men Make Merry

I've been informed semi-reliably that...

Despite a wet and somewhat uneven pitch and losing Ziggy 1st ball, the midweek team made 197/5ish (!) off their 20 overs against some "friendly" Uni Staff bowling, several batsmen reaching the retiral point of 25.

Believe that Staff made 102/3 in response with CoCo taking 2/3, Calum MacIntosh taking his first wicket ever and Deepak and his mate (Gandhe of Marchmont CC) impressing with the ball.

Remember nets tonight (Wednesday) from 6.30 onwards and also that the 1st XI play Edin Accies on Thursday (6pm, Newfield) - supporters, scorers etc welcome.

A Miracle

Click here and I promise that you will witness a genuine miracle.

Can it last....

Frosty reception for Ziggy as 'Graveyard' slur mars AGM

Mr Admin will in due course be communicating the main outcomes of the AGM, held today in sub-zero conditions.

The only moment of controversy (we’ll leave aside the President’s 3 hour address) was an entirely unprovoked attack, by our re-elected 2nd team skipper, on the 3rd team. His description of the 3rds as a ‘graveyard’ provoked uproar, especially amongst the more mature 3rd-teamers (Ellis Snr was provoked into phoning his lawyer during the meeting). Given the President’s warning’s about ‘factionalism’, one presumes that Ziggy will not escape punishment.

Ziggy Pipes up... Again

After his previous piece on the Cricket Scotland website, our 2nd team skipper has now taken to posting pseudonymously (or perhaps it's a piece co-written with Coco?)on the Spectator blog:

(no) Caption Required (No. 4)

It has been suggested that our 2nd team skipper has too often been the
focus of adverse comment on this blog.

Hence I implore Crossers not to suggest a caption for this photo.

2nd team skipper delivers end of season message.

Having had his Blackberry confiscated by Mr Admin, he's been forced to post pseudonymously on the Cricket Scotland website in order to communicate to his clubmates:

click here
(see in particular the section below the photograph).

Scotland Lose but Crossers amongst the Winners

result of the 'guess how many the Aussies will score' competition:
1. The Dr: 345
2. Ziggy: 350

result of the 'most pissed at the cricket competition':
1. Ziggy's flatmate.
2. Smudger's new lady friend.
3. Smudger (extra marks for embarrassing his son later on)
4. The Pres (special commendation for drinking more than Smudger and being about half as half-cut).

result of 'the person looking most like a pimp at the cricket' award:
1. Andy G.

result of the 'Crosser most often mistaken for an Aussie' competition:
1. Smudger

result of 'the Aussie most often barracked by Crossers':
1. Mitchell Johnson.
2. Peter Steindl (who apparently wasn't a happy 'bunny' following Scotland's performance).
3. Ozzie Malik

result of the 'most comical injury sustained whilst watching the the cricket'
1. Coco-thigh injury sustained whilst...er... sitting down.
2. The Pres-strained groin whilst 'getting his leg over'.

Result of the 'most unusual food stuff supplied by Ziggy at the cricket':
1. Angel Cake
2. Jelly Beans
3. Pakora
4. Samosa
5. Strawberries (or was that Coco?)

Result of 'the person who looks most like Scotland's reserve scrum half Chris Cusiter at the cricket'.
1. Ziggy's flatmate-photo evidence here


btw the first part of the match can be watched at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00mg54n/Cricket_Scotland_v_Australia_Part_1/

I think that Dr Astley appears at 35.46
anyone else spotted?

...3 wins...yes, even the 2nds

a great day for Ziggy and Coastal

1sts beat Largo (keeping them 3rd)

Holy Cross 184/7
E. Smith 72, S. Bonfield 60*
C. Barclay 3/29

Largo 117ao (6 points)
S. Bonfield 3/14, C. Ellis 4/ 24.

A solid victory built upon a partnership of 103 between Euan 'one shot'**
Smith and Shannon 'back playing like the pro' Bonfield which helped give
us an above-par score on a soft track.
Our strong bowling unit then squeezed their batting line-up (Shannon
taking the key wicket of Stinson) and forcing into them into some
over-ambitious shots on this type of surface.

2nds beat Falkland 2's (which may well have secured their Div 5 status)

Holy Cross 2nd XI beat Falkland 3rd XI by 6 wickets
Falkland 138-9 :(Biswas 4/24)
Holy Cross 2nd XI 142-6 ( A Quinn 50odd*, A Graham 36*) (having been 15-5, all to Alistair Melville whose 1st spell was 5-5)

3rds beat Edin South 2's (putting them 2nd)
Holy Cross 3rd XI beat Edinburgh South 2nd XI by about 65 runs scores- HX3 about 164-6 (R Ellis 67*, S. Russell 38) ; Edin South 2 about 99.

**most unfair- he only scored 87.5 % of his runs with a pull.

further details to follow

Aussies point the finger

Amid accusations that the pitch at the Oval has been doctored,
Australian journalists and conspiracy theorists have pointed the finger at the man pictured left.

He was apparently seen at the Oval earlier this week-having (it is alleged) been asked by the ECB to employ his infamous 'remove all the grass' method of pitch preparation (last used in preparing the notorious 'black pitch' for the 2nds match vs EU Staff in August 2008).



Update....
It is now suggested that the man accused
lacked the technical knowledge to doctor the pitch alone. Hence suspicion has now shifted to
the bearded trainee Horticulturalist pictured here. Intriguingly, the man he's pictured with has recently served on the Lords groundstaff. The plot thickens.