KF on the Ashes 2010-11: (Part 3)- Ponting Buckles

[KF's latest Discharge-sent on 27/12/10]

“Ricky’s actions as captain of his country were unacceptable.”

“He apologized for his action and stated that he has nothing but respect for the umpires.”

Don’t you just love press offices. What a load of Bull.

We’ve seen the tantrums before of course, most amusingly with Gary Pratt’s 15 minutes of fame and just like football managers with similar compunctions, it’s always when taking a beating that they take particular umbrage with the officials. It’s never the fault of the captain or manager or players themselves.

I understand the Punter wants another crack at the Ashes in England. Try not to chuckle. It can’t be up to him any more. He’s fast becoming an embarrassment, as are the team he claims to have picked (from the 12 names he was given?!?!). Taxi for Ponting methinks.

I’ve been harping on about Australia picking unfit players through this whole series. As soon as Punter broke his finger dropping a catch at Perth, it was almost inevitable he wouldn’t be fit for Melbourne, but say he was, then show he wasn’t. And so it came to pass. I would be surprised if he hasn’t got more big ton’s in him at Test level, but they are increasingly fewer and farther between.

My previous piece of journalistic jocularity identified the dangers of winning the toss in this series. Seems I misinterpreted the trend, which wasn’t winning/losing the toss, but actually batting first. The question might be ‘who is worst at setting a 1^st innings total?’ While England haven’t been up to much in this department, like most things in this series, the hosts have been much worse. 98 all out on Boxing Day!!! Compounded by Strauss/Cook making 157-0 straight after!!! This must be rock bottom for the baggy greens. Too much for Australia’s paying public who voted with their feet in no uncertain terms long before the end. If you’re going to bray for pommy blood when McGrath/Lee/Warne/Hayden/Gilchrist etc are in their pomp, try giving Hughes/Smith/Doherty/Hilfenhaus some support when things aren’t going so well. An amusing aside, Xavier has more series wickets than Homehelp.

Sad to watch (I claim to myself to be neutral). When this series has erred into genuine competition it’s been really good. Most of the rest has been English pundits not quite knowing how to report the first time since at least the 1980’s that England have been genuinely better. Usually they’re claiming Imperial superiority after a session where, say, Hayden & Gilchrist were restricted to 220 runs off 27 overs in fog on a farm track. Now that their team are sticking it right up their tormentors, they can’t seem to bring themselves to say outright (Boycott aside) exactly how superior they are. Too many false dawns in the past temper any triumphalism, but when its so obviously a bright sunny day now, why not just say what you see? As I believe I’ve been saying since the Ponting/Haddin toys out the pram (Ponting, huff, really???) in the 2^nd test. Incidentally, it was Haddin again stoking Pontings petulance (and subsequent official rebuke) in this Test claiming a catch when Watson at 1^st slip didn’t go up for it at all.

Who knows what the Aus XI will be at Sydney (Dregs, Chucker, Huffy??). Will any Aussies fans even turn up? Who will be the captain? England have ran out of good records to beat. Australia keep getting worse.

My only advice to them now is to play the next series in Perth and bat 2^nd every time. Just remembered, this Test is only two days old. I’ll be accused of counting chooks again. Well I’ve counted mine and I’d recommend you count yours.

A spot of nostalgia

A look back at the 3rd XI reports from 2006, usually written by Crawford or his fine deputy Alan.

Here is the final table followed by the first game of the season: I'll add more if anyone reads this and wants more.
====================
Division 7
Team P W L T Points %
Cask & B 17 13 4 0 285 83.82
Fauldhouse 2 16 12 4 0 257 80.31
Livingston 2 16 11 5 0 255 79.69
Cramond 2 17 11 6 0 268 78.82
Edinburgh 3 16 9 7 0 211 65.94 1 default
M/DAFS 3 17 7 10 0 210 61.76
Holy Cross 3 17 6 11 0 189 55.59
West Loth 3 15 6 9 0 165 55 2 defaults
Dunbar 17 5 12 0 161 47.35 2 defaults
Clacks C 2 16 2 14 0 100 31.25 1 default

========================

EDINBURGH CC – 30 April 2006

Hi guys…

First game of the season and nice to see the whole of Holy Cross with good availability.

A beautiful day yesterday for cricket, and interesting to see the Venue of Campbell Park for the first time, which is surprisingly good. Nice facilities, and a decent pitch…..far outstrips what the Meadows can currently offer.

After winning the toss, we put Edinburgh 3’s in to bat, and although we started well, their batting strength soon showed as they posted a formidable 172 all out against us. Although that looks like a large total (Well…it is…doesn’t just look like it), it doesn’t say how many balls they put in the air that could have gone anywhere, and it doesn’t show the effort put in by what must be one of Holy Cross’s youngest ever bowling attacks. (Not including Richard Ellis, obviously J )

Sulaiman Malik, as ever, returned fine figures with a fine first spell, and got the final wicket upon his return for his second spell, Hamish Peddie bowled very well indeed for a couple of wickets, but vice-captain Alan Matthews returned the figures of the day with 4 for 29. (Couple of obligatory inswinging neck high full tosses in there as well).

Sulaiman Malik: 5.4o – 1m – 21r – 2w
Alan Matthews: 9o – 1m – 29r – 4w
Hamish Peddie: 6o – 0m – 23r – 2w
Osman Malik: 4o – 0m – 42r – 0w
Richard Ellis: 9o – 1m – 20r – 1w
Qasim Malik: 5o – 0m – 30r – 0w

After a nice tea, our reply was a little unfortunate with the loss of a number of early wickets, and compounded further down by some bizarre running between the wickets giving Edinburgh three Run Outs. However, Edinburgh bowled very tidily indeed, and are a very competent side, pressing what advantage they’d gained, and winning the match as the Holy Cross reply ended on 100 all out.

Strangest moment of the day coming during our batting with Sulaiman lifting a shoulder high full toss (given immediately as a No-Ball) straight up in the air….when I say straight up, I mean basically about a foot and a half away from Sulaiman. Unaware where the ball had gone, Sulaiman charges of down the wicket, while his skipper watches the ball sail up, knowing quite happily that his opening bat is quite safe, and not out when the keeper catches it. You can imagine the surprise when the skipper turns and sees his batting partner standing at the same end as he is. After a very brief exchange of glances, the skipper trudges off in what can only be a described as a selfless display of gallantry and heroism, allowing his young opening bat to continue on his path to a glorious maiden half-century….which he would have done had his cousin Qasim not run him out not long afterwards.

Again, some positives to be taken from the batting, with Sulaiman battling for a very nice 43, the skipper discovering where the middle of the bat is, and scoring the most of his runs in the space of three deliveries, and Hamish Peddie again looking very useful with the bat as well.

Mike Nevin - c&b for 1
Sulaiman Malik – Run Out for 43
James Bailey – Bowled for 1 (Unlucky too…very very nice ball)
Mahmood Din – Bowled for 0
Richard Ellis – Bowled for 0
Paul Bailey – Bowled for 3
Crawford Mackay – Run Out for 15
Hamish Peddie – Run Out for 9
Qasim Malik – Bowled for 3
Osman Malik – Caught for 3
Alan Matthews – Not Out for 3

Extras 20

Total 100 All Out

Clearly, it appears we have issues with the ball hitting the stumps when we’re batting J

Nice effort guys, and given the performances yesterday, I think we’re going to be fine this year….the score didn’t quite reflect the game.

Cheers,
Crawford.

World Pub Arm-Wrestling Championships - Bearded Cross Horticulturalist Victorious

As you will have noted, the editorial board's cunning plan to goad KF into resuming his reporting career (by announcing AJQ's appointment as Chief Test Match Cricket Correspondent) has worked and Keith has been in fine form.

This left us with the problem of how to retain Andrew's services. What plum assignment could he be given? What glamorous sporting event could he cover?

We scoured the sporting calendars but to no avail as the feeble winter sporties were flummoxed by a little snow and cancelled everything. (Cue memories of playing through the snow in a 1990s pre-season friendly against the University at Peffermill ...... ).

Then, as Mr Admin was finalising the arrangements for winter nets, inspiration struck - indoor sport. So Andrew was despatched to the borders of Stockbridge the Saturday before last, where he observed the following -

Last night I met up with a number of Holy Cross teammates for a drink in the St Vincent. Our most recently-acquired resident Aussie, Pat, had been drinking since 3pm, possibly in an attempt to numb the pain of being 1-0 down to the Poms in the Ashes.  I'm not sure it helped.  He repeatedly stated that on paper, the Aussie team is better than England's.  Cue raised eyebrows all round, and several discussions on mental strength vs talent, and how much easier it is to be mentally strong when playing in an outrageously talented team.  Highlight of the evening may well have been an arm-wrestling bout between Smudger and Shifty (see above), the prize being the captaincy of the first XI in 2012.  Not entirely sure whether the winner or loser got the prize...

Pat seems to be in good forecasting form. Perhaps we should add him to the roster too ......

KF on the Ashes 2010-11: (Part 2)- Australia on the Verge of Winning back the Ashes!

[KF's latest piece of Ashes Analysis]

As promised, I quote from the end of my ‘article’ of two weeks ago “I always said Australia would win back the Ashes at a canter”.

Finally, we have a contest. From oblivion and hopelessness, the clichés of grit, determination and a few lorry-loads of obnoxiousness have returned to the Australian cricket team just in the nick of time.

What a very strange series. Every single toss so far has been a great toss to lose. In the first Test, Strauss struck the first psychological blow by winning the toss and batting, then poked himself in the eye by giving his wicket away third ball. Match drawn. At Adelaide, Australia won the toss on a batsman-only pitch, batted and were 2-3. England won. England won the toss at Perth, stole a march on Ponting who had picked a bowl first team, put them in, then proceeded to wilt in the face of Australian aggression. Australia win. Let’s see what happens at the MCG and Sydney but losing the toss would appear to be quite important.

Elsewhere, the show ponies and prima donna’s, the players with more ability than Charlie and Coco combined, the guys who need to perfect their hair before taking the field, the top level match winners like KP & Mitch apparently require the axe to bring them to their senses. Pre-series, KP was chopped. When he returned, it didn’t take him long to carve out a Test best. If England’s top 3 score tons, KP somehow feels he must do even better. If they fail, no pressure on him, he can seemingly fail too.

Meanwhile, every English commentators favourite Aussie quick, Mitchell Johnson, batted and bowled in the 3^rd Test so immensely well that it seems to me more of negative against him considering how atrocious he was in the 1^st Test. Does he really need to be dropped to force him to perform like that? It’s one thing to be below par, then re-find your form. It’s entirely different if you go from utterly hopeless to best ever in the space of one performance. Quite beguiling with shades of Botham when he lost the captaincy. But Johnson’s incredible improvement was almost all Australia needed to win this test. His batting in the first innings was the most entertaining and devastating knock of the series so far, I’d even contend it eclipsed his magnificent bowling destruction which knocked England batting confidence back about 15 years. Do the Aussie selectors have the cohoonies to claim credit for his resurgence? Even a stopped clock…

Now, after consulting with Captain Hindsight, I’d like to do my usual ‘I know best’ spiel. Would there be an improvement on the last test when Hilditch & Co picked 4 injured players (Clarke, Katich, Bollinger, Harris) and a nonentity (poor old Xavier), so effectively playing with about 6 players? Only just. They refused to listen when I called for Marsh and D Hussey. Instead they picked Hughes (14 runs) and a still unfit Clarke (24 runs). They persist with Watson as an opener (45 innings, 2 hundreds). I think in M Hussey (42,000,000 runs and a series average of 8876.99) they have a ready made series winning opener (in all seriousness, 99 innings, 13 tons), leaving Watson to come in at 6 and batter England with no responsibility. Imagine a Haddin/Watson 6^th wicket partnership or two!!!! As for Marsh, he has no Tests to state a proper case for him, plus, he’s not usually an opener. But for sure he’s fitter than Katich at the moment and I’d liken Hughes to a powerful outboard motor attached to a colander. The holes in Hughes game are remarkable for a 50+ pre-3^rd-test average (although its now below 45). He may come again, but now isn’t his time. I was happy to see Steve Smith (43 runs), but couldn’t believe he appeared above Haddin at 6. And it was good to see a recall for Johnson, who should only have been dropped if there was better to come in, which there so obviously wasn’t. I’d have picked Bolly (Test ave 25.92) ahead of Hilfenhaus (Test ave 34.04 and 1-68 in the 3^rd Test). The only selection I’d accept I got wrong, was that of Harris who ignored my fitness question marks to be a worthy inclusion who played an important part in equalling the series, albeit at a slower pace than in Adelaide. Since he’s a bowler, I’ll leave his comedy batting alone for now.

As for England, are they just a victim of the shifting tides of sport? You simply can’t win them all. We are always told that getting to the top is the easy bit, it’s staying there that’s difficult. The difference in performances between Tests II & III show a drastic lack of consistency (arguably you could say this has been the case the whole series), the trademark over which they shall have to do battle with Johnson. They were beaten far too easily for a team that had just won so easily. But who could have coped with such a fired up Johnson in particular and Australia in general?

Pre-Test I felt Tremlett had to come in for Broad. However, after in depth discussions with ol’ Captain Hindsight, feel that Bresnan should also have appeared at the expense of Finn. Neither Finn or Tremlett could replace Broads experience and I’m arguing age ahead of actual Test experience may have been more in England’s favour as a Broad replacement. I’d still suggest Tremlett/Bresnan for the 4^th Test ahead of Finn.

In the 4^th innings, you may have noticed, that not only was Bell (this series 76, 68*, 53, 16) still below Collingwood (4, 42, 5, 11), he was actually at 7 below JAMES ANDERSON too. This sort of decision should be a sackable offence. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! Bell must now move up to 5 and Collingwood must perform with the bat asap or make way. I’ve heard folk talk about getting the 1 percenters right. Moving Bell up would be a 10 percenter!!!!

Now for the leftfield suggestion. Why not drop KP for Melbourne? Using the Johnson example, this should ensure an England victory when he’s (inevitably) recalled for the 5^th Test. This would mean England win the 5^th Test and therefore the series, no matter what happens at the MCG. You can read too much into a speeding ticket in a bright yellow sports car, but if these prima donna menchildren need their shiny toys taken away from them before they perform like adults, then so be it. We might see them less, but when we do, they’ll come out all guns blazing.

Archive Hour

Some Crossers may enjoy this 1948 British Council film on cricket, recently made available online:

http://timeimage.org.uk/archive/entry/cricket.html

Quote of the Day

Even CJE (whose batting style-and liking for uncovered wickets- has been likened to the great man on a few occasions and who keeps a battered copy of Boycott on Batting in his kit bag) was somewhat taken aback by his comments in today's Daily Telegraph:

'We need to guard against negative thoughts because if you get into a defensive frame of mind it stunts your shot-playing ability, you become cautious and it inhibits clear thinking. You get too tense, it dulls the mind and you make poor decisions'

er...

MacGill slams selection panel

given that he's been doing this every week since 1974, I don't why this has suddenly become headline news.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes-2010-11/content/current/story/491409.html

Holy X Xmas Drinks

Gents,

Having spent the best part of two weeks snowed in with only the internet for amusement it's certainly time to arrange some festive drinks. A few folk wll be heading to the St Vincent Stockbridge - Howe St for a few this Saturday.

Happy days!

KF on the Ashes 2010-11: (Part 1)- England Win the Ashes!

'With legendary reporter-cum-controversialist KF otherwise engaged composing unfeasibly tricky quizzes, the editorial board has sought long and hard for a new Chief Test Cricket Correspondent'

KF has not taken this challenge lying down but -rather than sending a team of heavies armed with baseball bats to Bellevue Chapel- has spent the last two nights preparing this:

As the teams left the field at the end of the 1^st day at Adelaide, two of Australia’s three players to turn up so far (the other being Hussey), effectively conceded this Ashes series to England. After being pasted for two days at Brisbane, then rolling over for 245 after winning the toss in a batting paradise, the frustration for Ponting and Haddin spilled over into quite embarrassing verbals. It appears that the Aussies felt Strauss & Cook had time wasted at the end of the first days play, finishing on 1-0. In what is fast turning into complete humiliation for the home side, the Aussies should be looking no further than themselves and their blanket ineptitude before attacking one of the finest England sides ever to contest an Ashes tour. To take overs or time out of the game, I’m afraid England’s batsmen are doing Australia a favour, for as soon as the cricket gets underway, the hosts, one partnership and one hat trick aside, are a complete shambles.

Whilst, to an extent, I’m excusing Ponting, Haddin & Hussey, the former has had a golden duck and been unable to affect the game through on field captaincy and the other two have already dropped catches (just three innings into the series). These are Australia’s best players. Watson, probably the 4^th best home player has failed where Cook has excelled. Test openers getting 50 per match aren’t worth as much as one who converts into hundreds. Is Watson a Test opener? Asking that question alone suggests doubt. Katich (injured finger) gave his wicket away without even facing in the first innings whilst so asleep it boggles the mind. Ponting, notoriously vulnerable early in an innings seems to need to take a beating before fighting back. His quick 50 in the 1^st test was too little, too late, inconsequential even. His golden in the 2^nd test was worryingly unsurprising for such a ‘great’ player. Where was the 50 in 40 balls when his team needed it? At 4 there is a patently unfit Michael Clarke. He is unable to bowl, but supposedly fit, unable to bat (11 in 83 balls while its runs galore elsewhere), never mind the 1^st test, at Adelaide it was a matter of time til he succumbed, doing well to reach 2 with a rabbit in the headlights stroke that fended a short one off down to fine leg. And when he’s dropping regulation slip catches (at Brisbane), picking him is both unfair to him and stupid for the team. Hussey, one drop at gully aside has held his own, same goes for Haddin.

At 6 there is a batsman who doesn’t score runs. What else needs said? Johnson at 8 in Brisbane turned in as inept a performance as you’ll see in Test cricket post Harmison. He had to be dropped. But only if there is an able replacement. He looks like he needs cricket, yet I see he’s doing 12^th man duties at Adelaide?!?!? Siddle, who I think should bowl 1^st over for Australia has been very hot and very cold. A great hat trick and 6-54 followed by 40-7-140-0. Hilfenhaus has bowled not much worse, just without the 6-54 taking 1-142 at the Gabba. Leaving the worst for last, it’s a shame for any Ozzie spinner because they’ll all be compared to Warne and fall short. Xavier Doherty , hilariously included to directly counter Pietersen (bats 4, Eng 517-1 dec) barely turns the ball, has average control and its difficult to see why he got one cap (ahead of Hauritz), never mind two. His two wickets so far have been James Anderson, then Ian Bell who was last man out when hitting out. Since then 0-207. I’ll leave his below par fielding performance alone. I don’t even think he’s as good a bowler as North.

The cunning plan for the 2^nd test was to drop Hilf & Mitch and add Bollinger & Harris, both short of games and fitness doubts. Harris looks to me about the equivalent of Bresnan. And he was given the new ball!!! Is he better than Siddle, Hilfenhaus, Johnson or even a 35 year old S Clark? If anything illustrates the gulf between these sides, this must be it. At the time of writing, this new look attack has England rocking at 317-2 with batting records of all descriptions being obliterated. It is dark and desperate times for the hosts and if the 13 players we’ve seen so far are the best they can produce, England and their fans are in for a sun kissed bonanza. Australia must drop injured players now (Clarke, Katich) and need another bowler because, stating the obvious, they aren’t taking wickets. They also need to inject some of that unquantifiable Aussie spirit. If not Cameron White whose seems to struggle at Test level, then I’d get Steve Smith straight in. What he lacks in ability, he more than makes up for with attitude.

Not one to criticise without suggesting alternatives, here is my Aus team in order. M Hussey, Marsh, Ponting, D Hussey, Watson, Haddin, Smith, Johnson, Hauritz, Siddle, Bollinger. I’d have Clarke, Katich & Johnson doing their prep for the 3^rd test somewhere more suitable than in the 2^nd Test.

While laying into a woeful Australian side, the big question is, how much of this is down to England? Pretty much all of it I reckon. We are seeing one of the great England sides, at least of the modern era. Whilst a heck of a lot was made of the 2005 team, largely the same team went on to a 5-0 whitewash next time the sides met. This team might lack Flintoff, or the 2005 Pietersen, but they are a much better unit. My only gripe is that Collingwood bats ahead of Bell. I would possibly even say I’m surprised Collingwood is included ahead of Morgan, but Collingwood is more to this England team than just runs. At the moment I think Haddin would beat Prior into the England side and Hussey ahead of Collingwood. Could Ponting oust Strauss as captain or Trott at number 3? At the moment, I don’t think so. When was the last time 8 or 9 England players would walk into an Eng/Aus select XI?

I’ve also had the feeling for a while that England watchers aren’t quite aware of how good an opening pair they have in Strauss and Cook. Their big problem seems to be their lack of spectacularity(?), but their record and dogged consistency, which is coming to fruition in spectacular fashion at present augurs very well for the foreseeable future. With the rest of the batting line up falling into place (Collingwood issue aside), and Anderson & Swann finding top form in 2010 it seems like there is greatness ahead for the current England/Wales/Ireland/South African 2^nd XI test side (this might be read as derogatory, but it’s a fact and the team name should be changed at least to something more British, otherwise why not call them London, or Middlesex, or Westminster or MCC or something equally as untruthful).

Next week; I always said Australia would win back the Ashes at a canter!!!

Nets

Pre-season nets are likely to be on Saturdays, 2-4pm, at the Galleon at George Watson's College, starting on 5th March. Confirmation to follow.

The Galleon's nets are excellent, so don't forget to cajole, charm or just plain bully friends, relatives and random acquaintances into coming along. With four lanes, there'll be plenty of room.

The Write-y Quinn

With legendary reporter-cum-controversialist KF otherwise engaged composing unfeasibly tricky quizzes, the editorial board has sought long and hard for a new Chief Test Cricket Correspondent.

We are delighted to have secured, or at least borrowed, the services of Mr Andrew Quinn. Andy is well known at Arbo as our foremost last-day-of-the-season specialist and one of the few men ever to challenge the Ellises for the title of Nicest Crosser. But few are aware of his literary talents or of his ill-fated trip Down Under for the 2006-7 tour.

Anyway, here's Andy's account of the early stages of the First Test.

ESCA News

The ESCA agm was held last night. Here are the highlights from a Cross (and, after a 2 hour plus meeting, slightly cross) perspective.

• Points - In an attempt to produce a clearer contrast between winning and losing and to eliminate the anomaly of the sixth bowling bonus point which is only available to the side batting second (think about it), only five bowling and five batting bonus points will be available to the losing side next season. The first batting bonus point will come at 100 in a 50 over game, 90 in a 45 over game and 70 in a 40 over game. Bowling bonus points will be awarded for taking the 1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th wickets.
• Ties - No bonus points will be awarded and each side will get 15 points.
• Abandoned games - A version of Duckworth Lewis was overwhelmingly approved for use in abandoned games where at least 20 overs of the second innings have been completed. Please don't ask me to explain. Captains will be issued with booklets.
• Division 1 news - As a consequence of SNCL restructuring, Division 1 will start a week earlier than the rest of the League on Saturday 23rd April, unless clubs agree to postpone their first fixture to a Sunday in the first half of the season. The Committee will consult clubs about the introduction of fielding circles/restrictions in Division 1. Don't blame me, I voted against it. If we have to emulate the IPL I'd prefer to start with podium dancers.
• Division 8 news - Last season there were fifteen teams in Division 8. Following Edinburgh Accies' promotion to the National League and the withdrawal of Dunnikier and Townhill from higher divisions during last season, twelve teams were left in Division 8. However, last night, as expected, four new teams were admitted to the Leagues: Broomhall 3rds (likely to play at the Dalgety Bay sports centre), Edinburgh South 3rds (likely to play at the Meadows), Stirling County 4ths and Tranent. This left 16 teams "below Division 7". The Committee asked representatives of the 16 clubs to indicate whether they preferred a single large Division 8; a 10-team Division 8 with a new 6-team Division 9; or two divisions of 8 teams each. A 16-team Division 8 was approved by one vote. I know this is not the outcome the 3rds were hoping for, but it does at least mean we'll get to play against our old friends from Tranent and, possibly, visit Stirling's New Williamfield ground, which is said to be magnificent.
• Fair Play - Four unnamed clubs performed particularly badly in the Fair Play voting and will be spoken to by the Committee. Please don't speculate about their identities in any Comments on this post.
• Sponsorship - Baillie Gifford's sponsorship of the East League has been increased and extended to cover seasons 2010, 2011 and 2012.

KF's Quiz Night Cometh

If you write it they shall come, and so they shall, to KF's Quiz Night on Friday 19th.

KF has been locked safely up since the end of season wracking his brain and studying ancient scriptures to find a set of questions challenging enough for the great minds of the Cross.

Bar opens at 7. Quiz starts when KF gets there.

His instructions are thus:

Test your brain against McGill (or headbutt him, whatever is easiest)

Max 5 players per team, singletons welcome

7pm for 7.30 start, (purely aspirational bearing in mind the identity of the quizmaster)

Not just for HX players, bring mates, femmes etc

Random, gruelling, quirky and inventive rounds

Prize/entry fee tbc

All answers verified by Wikipedia

Quizmasters word is final

See you all there?!

KF's Drinking Games

[from KF] Here is a little filler in the form of a quiz to keep us familiar with the drinking habits of Crossers as the temperature outside drops. I've listed the favourite tipple of ten HX players, see if you can guess who would make the order with Raimondo Gillian (answers to follow in the comments box). This is a flavour of the level of questions to be expected if and when there is ever a Holy Cross Quiz Night.

*Elixir of finest Lancashire Cranberry, Jojoba & Tea Tree

*One Jug

*Two Jugs

*1.9 pints of Buckfast

*One yard of Ale

*Castrol GTX

*One Fairplay Award-full of Port

*A pint of Mick Jagger

*A Bacon Roll & a Pint of Irn Bru

and finally, the one you've all been waiting for

*Pint of 80, half a cider, bottle of wine, a wee double double of whisky and a box of matches

Crosser is 'Test match quality'

A veteran Crosser has has been described as being of 'Test match quality' by another Edinburgh-based cricket blog..

http://fantasybob.blogspot.com/2010/10/fab-four.html

but for some reason he didn't get selected for this (not even the 2nd XI! - but then, neither did his contemporary, Dr Grace):

http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/482936.html

Holy Cross Cricket Glossary (part 1)

Playing for the Cross can be a confusing experience: things are not always what they seem. For new and old Crossers alike, a glossary explaining commonly used euphemisms phrases may prove useful. The composition of the glossary is currently in its early stages and so would benefit from the input of the Cross membership.

• “Thanks for now” - you might get another spell-but after that dross, not today.

• “Unlucky, Good effort” - a drop

• "Good finish" - the last two were ok but a shame about the three pies that you began the over with.

• “You deserved that” - yes but not with that ball, Ian.

• “Unlucky, it did keep a bit low” - yes but why the hell were you trying to pull a good length ball on off stump, Smudger.

• “Good areas” - no pace, no swing, no threat-but at least you pitched somewhere near where it should be.

• “A bit more flight” - give him one he can really smack.

• “Good chase” - but why couldn’t you simply have stopped it instead of letting it go under you, necessitating the 50 yard chase and three unnecessary runs.

• “Good backing-up” - you did well to cover a shy at the stumps that was 10 yards off target.

• “Good arm” - 10 yards wide of/over the keeper’s head

• “Unlucky, those chances either stick or they don’t” - they never seem to stick with you.

• “Sorry, I thought there was two there” - I knew I could make it back at least.

• “Sorry, I thought there was one there” - yes but not for you Richard.

• "good pick up Coco!" - Shame you weren't as adept at picking the ball up as picking up your lighted fag.

Mad Man Attempts Dangerous Stunt

The image above is not a product of photoshopping; this man really is just about to attempt to drive a powerful petrol-driven mower into the boot of his car!

We have not been permitted to show further photos or indicate whether the attempt was successful - in order that this respected blog is not seen to be encouraging such reckless behaviour.

Arbo square successfully put to bed.

Crossers will be pleased to learn that the elite squad of the Facilities Commissar, Pres and cje have successfully completed the task of overseeding and top-dressing the square. Luckily it stayed dry for the duration ... and then rained heavily overnight, which should help the seed germinate.....and now we've got lovely sunshine-perfect
Well, we've thought for some time that there were a few moles in the club....is ffs under one of these??

The team leaders consider getting down to work ....

... but instead decide to employ child labour..!

Fair Play to the Cross

Once again Holy Cross have featured prominently in the East League fair play awards.

FAIR PLAY RESULTS

Division 1

1. Glenrothes
2. Holy Cross
3. Carlton 2

Division 5

1= Holy Cross 2
1= Leith FAB 2
3. MDAFS 3

Division 8

1. Largo 4
2. Teuchters
3= Holy Cross 3
3= Musselburgh 2

Evidently we are far too nice to our opponents - let's see more ruthlessness next season; then perhaps these will be our final league positions!

Top Allrounder Announces Retirement

The cricketing world was today stunned by the news that one of the leading allrounders of his era age was to retire.

His press release stated: 'I today regretfully announce my retirement from all international cricket with immediate effect. Having been told that my body would no longer stand up to the rigours of Test and ODI cricket, I had no alternative but to retire. This will mean that I will not now be able to honour my IPL contract - but will instead spend my winter taking part in the lucrative respected HCACCWSGL'

Broonster's Broughton head to Arbo!

Broonster's Broughton head to Arbo to take on Inverleith on Saturday 9th October (3pm kick-off).

Why not head down for a catch up and a beer and sample the tranquil ambience of grass roots rugby at it's erm, finest!

A great opportunity to also forge further links with the rugby club and get out the house on a Saturday!

A Miracle?

Much concern was expressed about the condition of the Arbo square after being played on when very wet in a midweek friendly : that the strip would take decades to recover.

O ye of little faith. In fact after just 4 weeks the pitch is well on the way to a full recovery. Divine intervention??



Mind you it was then churned up a bit again by Smudger's nasty machine....


The square is now scarified. Top dressing/ overseeding will hopefully take place next Saturday -volunteers required.

Pope to visit Edinburgh on September 16th

Will he bless the Arbo Square or the heavy roller?
Will any deceased Crossers be Canonised?

or will he just annoy Bimbo with his chat?

Stats Package

The League averages for the 2010 season have been manipulated so that he appears at the top completed by Colin McGill.

If you haven't received a copy but wish to, either email me or leave a comment here.

The Awards Night in Pictures....

Ahead of tomorrow night's 60th Dinner, here is a chance to look back at last weekend's Awards Night at Arbo. I appreciate some of our 'silver surfers' don't have Facebook etc, so here are those pics....


Our President sets the scene...


The Table of Prizes...apart from Shifty's Magners of course!


I am Legend aka Coco


Quack Quack Oops - It's Smudger!


Coastal Ken....AGAIN!


Bimbo with the Wolrige Tankard looking like an extra from Queer as Folk!


Smudger up again...


Mr & Mrs Michael from the Rugby AND Cricket Club with their gifts for outstanding services to the Club.


The Youngest Oldest Man in Cricket...


Norrie with the Buchie Award (makes a change from the Buckie Award!!)


Most Disappointing Season...and the Glamourous Assistant Pat giving it a big rub!


2nd XI Player of the Year and the Crosser with the longest reach - it's Jon Bates!


Andy Q can hardly contain his excitement at the events....


Princess Ziggy....


Charlie "Where's my bloody award" Ellis....

KF on Scottish cricket (part 4 of a continuing series)

[The season may have finished but KF continues to do what he does best: smack balls over straight midwicket provide insightful commentary on the game].

For those of you who can't wait until the forthcoming Ashes commence for my insightful, innovative, thought-provoking and all round amazingly brilliant dissection of England's inevitable drubbing (the cricket media are doing the England football thing and declaring Ashes victory already, reality will bite by about lunch time on the first day of the First Test. Early prediction: panic call-up for Pietersen at 0-2), I'd like to take the opportunity of regurgitating a previous post from the soon to be if not already legendary 'KF on Scottish Cricket' series.

As I write this, I can hardly see the screen due to the sunlight beaming in through my window. The temperature outside is nearer 20 degrees, the breeze is light and, er, the cricket season has just finished.

Harking back to last December's scribble, here are some quotes.

"Come the end of August and into September, once the season has ended for most folk, its flip flop and barbecue time."

"I believe it's time to look at adjusting the season as I believe it starts and ends too early"

If cricket is played in the summer, and the season has just finished, and this is winter (humour me here please, there are no rules about internet posts having to be watertight), then I think we should begin playing Winter Cricket asap.

I'll leave it at that and will make sure I return to this subject every year at the same time. Now where did I put the suntan lotion (not in my effin cricket bag, that's for sure)?

......postcript by cje...

Lengthening the season is something I'd love to see happen - though those who share facilities with rugby/ football clubs would face difficulties.

Before Popey relates his stories of Yorshire cricket, I'll point out that the Sunday team I played for in Sheffield (Firvale CC) have their last fixture this season on Sept 19th.

From a groundsmanship point of view, one problem with playing into September would be the impact on post-season renovation of cricket squares (you need the new seed to germinate and establish itself before the temperature drops).

And the Winner Was ......

For all those who couldn't make it to Awards Night on Saturday, and for all those who did make it but can't remember a thing, here is the full and official list of 2010 award winners. The Dear Leader selected Pat as his Glamorous Assistant.

Club Player of the Year - Spickers, with Charlie as runner-up.

Clubman of the Year - Charlie for hours of selfless work on the Arbo square.

Most League Runs - Jon by one run from Charlie.

Most League Wickets - A three-way tie between Richard, Smudger and, following his single wicket on Sunday, Coco.

2nds Player of the Year - Jon.

3rds Player of the Year - Richard.

The Buchie Award (fastest run scorer) - Norrie, who scored his League runs at 5.8 an over.

Coastal Erosion (slowest run scorer) - Ken again, although this year's rate of 1.6 an over was a significant acceleration from last year's 1.25.

Quack Quack Oops (most League ducks) - Smudger (5).

The Wolrige Tankard for the player with the best spirit - Eight separate nominations, but Bimbo wins by a head from Andy Q and Broonster.

Most Improved Player - Usama by a distance from "McGill the batsman".

Most Disappointing Season - The winner is the President's body and not the 2nds. I repeat, not the 2nds.

Most Memorable Team Performance - The 1sts' win away vs Watsonians, the eventual League champions.

The WG Grace Award for the Best Older Player - Richard.

Best Younger Player - Usama.

The Most Entertaining Moment of the Season - Last year's winner was the 3rds for managing to get three batsmen to the wicket at the same time at Carlton as Keith and Coco both thought they were next in. This year they went one better with four batsmen in the middle at home against Dunfermline as both Coco and Keith G succumbed to the Campbell Park sniper and required runners.

The Botham Award for the Most Heroic Individual Performance - Manon for single-handedly turning the away game against Boroughmuir with a quickfire 60 to remind us how much we miss him.

Catch of the Year - Runners-up were Spickers' diving catch for the BFLs to dismiss Edinburgh's star batsman and Andy G's one-hander on the boundary against Marchmont in the Masterton. But the run-away winner was Russell Eberst for two superb slip catches against Smellies.

The James Bradley Memorial Princess Hissy Fit Trophy - Joint runners-up - first, for the second year running, for his consistent excellence in minor on-field tantrum- and huff-throwing, but in particular for his performance after being bowled against Boroughmuir, the man who has described Dr Bradley as his mentor more than once - Charlie; second, CA Smith for letting a ball through his legs and blaming his twin/captain. But the winner, for those not very "sobber", not very long-lived blog postings and for his mid-season resignation is Ziggy, who becomes the first man to retain the Broken Tiara - all the more extraordinary given his constant good humour on the field whatever the provocation.

Trigger - Sorry, Mike.

Distinguished Hawaiian Shirt Wearer of the Year Award - Broonster. It'll go nicely with his extensive collection of Stade Francais rugby shirts.

Sunday Bloody Sunday....but no inquiry needed - we were brutal!

Dunfermline was a bridge too far for this end of season clash for the depleted 3s who started the game fielding with 9 before Robertson Jnr answered the call to arrive 15 overs in to the game.

At 43-3 after 12 overs, the 3s looked useful with newly crowned Young Player of the Year and Most Improved Player of the Year Usama Shazad reaching 1 for 18 from his opening 6 overs including a Wicket Maiden. Akilesh took a wicket with his 4th delivery and without a brown envelope and a News of the World in sight, things were looking up!



Unfortunately young Scott Lucas, whose previous best of 79 not out, was on fire and this promising star of the future despatched many a bowler on his way to an excellent 103 not out.

Geddes, who made the long journey across the street to attend the game but arrived at 12.55, was in on the wickets taking 2-38 and Nevin - winner of the Worst Umpire Award the previous evening - also took a brace but for half of Geddes' total. McGill was left wondering what could have been, taking just one wicket for 41 runs.

In response, the Crossers took to the field following a fine tea for two, but they were either still in awe over the Lucas innings or forgot their batting strokes over the break.



Nevin and Lawrie both notching up singles before being clean bowled by David Timmins leaving Cross 4 for 2 - no Pakistan Agents in sight...



Roberston Jnr looked to go airborne with a Thomas Lucas (yip, he is Scott's twin!) delivery however he only managed to reach Wilkinson and it was back to the pavillion on 11 - double figures at least! Coco went in to keep Mahmood company, but it was Din-Dong for Timmins who added to his earlier scalp. Cross in trouble at 28-4!



Usuma came - and went for 4, caught and bowled by Scott Lucas and Geddes was following him back to the sheds moments later for a duck, caught by the Keeper with the faintest nick from a sweet S Lucas delivery.





Akilesh added a solitary score to the proceedings before being cleaned bowled by Wilkinson as a swipe and miss by the bat didn't miss the stumps!!



McGill was clearly not firing on full cylinders - perhaps basking in the glory of the Awards Night - and his innings of 20 was abrutly ended by Wilkinson.



So, the dream team was out there. Sandy Robertson & Broonster. The Holy Cross Broad & Trott. Or was that Laurel & Hardy? Robertson was already holding his own and continued to show why he has been a strong batsman over the years for the Cross.



Both he and Brown (1 N.O.)steadied the sinking ship to hang on in there and get another batting point before Sandy was finally broken on 13 by S Lucas who, at 3-20 was up there with D Timmins 3-19 for bowling honours.



Well, the curtain comes down on another Cross-tastic 3rds season. Whilst the result was understatingly disappointing, on a positive note, if Cricket Scotland can work with some of these kids and keep them in the game, the future of Scottish Cricket may well be bright!

.....Breaking News....Investigation Launched into Suspicious Wides

.....breaking news....investigation launched into suspicious series of wide full tosses bowled by an unnamed left armer seam bowler - the 2nd, 8th, 10th, 16th, 19th, 20th and 23rd deliveries of his 4 over spell are being analysed.

Observers have suggested that the balls were so bad that the bowler must have deliberately been aiming to miss the wicket keeper. This is not the 1st accusation of deliberate poor bowling to have been levelled at HX 1st XI bowlers this season: Bainbridge, Ellis, Russell, Killey and Webb have also bowled suspicious spells.

Rasoed, Brassoed, Rat-arsoed...

Saturday results digest..
1sts

Edinburgh Accies 203-9 (M. Raso 78, N. Sellar 22; D. Russell 3-16, R. Worsnop 2-20, S. Bonfield 2-36).

Holy Cross 165-7 (C. Ellis 59, D. Russell 33, E.C. Smith 23; H.Paton 2-26, P. Taylor 2-38).

Thought we had a chance at 101-3 off 33 but we were not able to make the necessary acceleration against tight Accies bowling in the gloom.

2nds
Holy Cross 2nds beat Musselburgh 2nds by 5 wickets chasing 157 - 4-for for Smudger, a handy opening spell from Nawaz on his return and a hat-trick of catches from Norrie; 44 for JB and an excellent 58, his highest score for the Cross, from last-game-of-the-season-specialist Andy Q, who had earlier pouched two diving catches.

3rds
.....Breaking news:
According to KL they were chasing 211-8 but 'batted like numpties' and were 70ao

Awards Night.
Can't remember who won what (hopefully Mr Admin remembers), though Broonster can now claim his prize...once Andy G (who must have been doing some last minute business) is tracked down.

After midnight a few Crossers succumbed to the contents of the jugs (or was it the port/ Brasso cocktail being handed round). In order of disapearance they were:

Bimbo (or at least the person looked like Bimbo-but with a very white face..)
Norrie
Coco
KF

League Weekend 18 and the Off-Season Ahead

Saturday's fun -

• 1sts vs Edinburgh Accies at Arbo. Umpires - Chait Badhe and Bruce Dixon.
• 2nds vs Musselburgh 2nds, away.
• Awards Night at Arbo from about 8pm or as soon as the 2nds get back from Musselburgh.

Sunday -

• 3rds vs Dunfermline 3rds, away.

Friday 3rd September -

• 60th Anniversary Dinner, Craigmillar Park Golf Club, 7 for 7.30. One or two tickets still available. See Broonster.

A Saturday in September -

• Work party putting the Arbo pitch to bed for the winter. Watch out for Smudger's e-mail.