KF on the Ashes (Part 2).

Part 2 of KF's Ashes commentary.

One single match after the worst performance in the history of sport against the greatest side ever to walk the planet, England find themselves 1-0 up in the series. OK, I’m exaggerating a bit, but as usual, it’s the commentary by supposed experts that gets me going. I’d love to watch a game (and this applies to football as well), where a fair and unbiased assessment of the game is commented upon where necessary, with some tactical and technical insights by an eloquent commentator. Too often we are fed total nonsense. There are exceptions. I think ‘our’ own Michael Atherton is excellent and feel it’s hard to beat a Jeremy Coney assessment of a match situation. Where Coney is also extremely good is that when talking about New Zealand, there is no bias or jingoism, he tells it exactly like it is. And that is how it should be. We need more like him and they must be out there (certainly in cricket, maybe not in football).

The danger of paying someone to sit and talk when there is nothing to say is all too apparent. And the logic seemingly followed by Sky, that you need to have been an England captain to be able to commentate, is questionable. Yes, they’d have a crack senior 6-a-side team, but are they the greatest commentary team? When Hughes opens for Australia and clobbers a four over point, you hear English voices say things like ‘ooh, he got away with that one’ or ‘a bit uppish there’. In my head I can only hear Bill Lawry screaming ‘BANG, there’s another one crashing into the boards’. Why are England’s commentator’s so negative? When, as happens, the umpire’s made a meal of things, I could hardly believe my ears. The game was brought into disrepute with the assertion that these umpires were rubbish and that in world cricket, only Dar and Taufel are up to the job. Amazing stuff coming from former England players. If this is the case, and you think you can do better then stop being so defamatory and show us how it’s done. Otherwise, shut the hell up.

How nice is it to hear Warne in amongst them. He is Australian and he wants them to win. No problems there. But he is also a genuine world cricketer having captained in England and India in different versions of the game to go alongside his Australian record/s. His cricket opinion is clear of petty jealousies and suchlike, he just espouses sensible opinion again and again. He can’t be rivalled when it comes to ospinion (do you like that?) and I think his point that there should only be referrals if there is a referral system that is 100% accurate is well considered. Simply put, when he opens his mouth you listen. When Botham starts contradicting what he said 15 minutes ago, you switch off. When Hussein goes in a huff because England are being beaten, you despair.

Onto the actual cricket. What a difference Graham Onions made. Without him, England limped to a draw at Cardiff. With him Australia were steamrollered at Lords. Obviously I jest. But regarding England’s team selection, who do you rate most/who is best/who would you least like to face? Onions & Broad or Harmison & Panesar? All four would skittle me, but I suspect the vast majority would prefer the latter pair in their side and they’d be a fantastically entertaining last wicket partnership as well.

Now for Sir Freddie. That his injuries have cut short his career is no surprise at all. As he is ‘big-built’ and a quickie, he was always going to incur more wear and tear. But as I’ve said on record before (see Jon’s quote in the comments about my 1^st Test report), injecting him with pain killers and making him play while injured is stupid, counter-productive and borderline criminal. The pain is there for a reason. Masking it allows you to dumbly exacerbate the problem. I’m astonished such short-termism pervades. Anyone familiar with the story of Allan McGraw will dread what the future holds for Flintoff’s legs. At least in the 1960’s they could plead ignorance. That he can thunder in and consistently bowl over 90mph owes as much to the ‘wonders’ of medicine than natural ability. Sorry to labour this but I reckon I could smash a few lids if I was on the same drugs as Flintoff.

Now without their show pony (allowing countless laboured Achilles heel jokes), will England pick a work horse or a donkey? Is there an Australian available with 3 games under his belt for a minor county who qualifies through a criminal grandparent deported here 50 years ago? I refer of course to the somewhat leftfield selection of that bowler whose name escapes me and I can’t be bothered to look up. While losing KP is a blow they have an obvious replacement in Bell, but you never know with England selectors do you!!! And all that losing KP from the batting line-up will do is allow the commentators to start attacking Bopara or Cook or whoever instead of their goofy Saffer.

The performances in the first two Test’s don’t matter now. An argument could be made that England have the momentum, but didn’t Australia have that after Cardiff? Momentum or over-confidence, six and half a dozen!!! The score is 1-0 to England, an outstanding position. But with doubts over Flintoff’s ability to play another 3 Tests, Broad’s cold statistics and Onions yet to prove he is Test class, there are still 60 Australian wickets between England and the Ashes. The cricket has been excellent so far and I can’t wait for the next instalment, although I might just watch it with the sound turned off. Actually, I can’t do that or I’d have nothing to whinge about in my next dispatch.