Class

John McPartlin has written a great piece on his blog about Irvin Iffla and, in passing, Roger Sardesai. Worth reading.

Cross Nets

Holy Cross!!!

Those of you with a lower level of sophistication might see a simple picture of fishnet stockings, but if you look closer I believe time-served Crossers will immediately recognise the 'Cross Nets' connotations in this photo.

And with that subtle prompt, I would like to remind everyone that tomorrow is the final pre-season indoor net session.

Usual time, usual place.

At such an esteemed club as ourselves, every opportunity must be grabbed to attend nets as you never know when the next one might be. And although numbers have been almost acceptable so far, let's forego the temptations of Chelsea v Spurs (Sky Plus it) or shopping with the wife (tell where to stick it) and engage in some of the rusty hacking and blended frogging that passes for our practice.

Oh aye, one last thing, if anyone see's a Smith, let them know about nets too...

The Perils of Orthodox Thought

Inventor of Jogging - Deid

This lunch time Sky Sports News report that;

"now to England's opening tour match in Sri Lanka, Stuart Broad sprained his ankle during the warm-up and he didn't take part".

Knock me down with a medicine ball. I feel like a 'Galileo of fitness' swimming hopelessly against the orthodox view here.

Is it really worth risking these pre-match injury attempts or so-called warm-ups??? Excuse me for asking, but if warming-up is logical shouldn't there be a warm-up before you warm-up? And a warm-up before that? I could go on.

When would we have time to sit down folks, when would we actually sit down?????

If these fitness know-all's with their physiotherapy degrees and swathes of data still cannot be swayed, I urge all the non-evidence based opinion formers to heed the harsh lesson (almost) learned by Mr Jim Fixx, the infamous 'inventor' of jogging and writer of 1977's best selling 'Complete Book of Running'. This book is credited with 'helping start America's fitness revolution' (72 million obese in a recent head count). Try not to choke on your deep fried Twinkie's!!!

In what is also a dagger to the heart of Mensa, of whom Mr Fixx was a member, the poor man died of a heart attack at the age of 52 ... after his daily jog!!!!!

As the untouchable Bill Hicks once opined on the demise of Mr Fixx, "Keith Richards is still alive".

Now of course, I'm not one of these types wot just criticises whilst offering no alternative. I was pure delighted with the revelation in a recent Horizon on the BBC (still available on iPlayer via this link) called 'The Truth About Exercise' which suggested that 12 minutes of exercise a month is perfectly adequate. Alack, too late for poor Jimmy Fixx!!!

Here are a couple of great quotes from stupidgymshit.com

"Over the years I've witnessed two people rupture their Achilles tendon by doing something as simple as running in place with a high knee action"

"You'd be surprised how many people suffer injuries during their warm-up" (er, no I wouldn't).

Russell Regime Diktat #0002

JC, he say OMG

The Holy Democratic Committee of the New Way for the Cricketing Crossers would like to thank all of the Great & Fit Men who attended Winter Nets on Saturday. Our newly installed covert iris recognition system calculated 24 (twenty four) able men in attendance. This required the complete facilitation of the facilities, or in other words, the use of all 4 (four) available nets.

This remarkable achievement is believed to be the first time that the use of 2 (two) nets has ever been exceeded by our venerable institution. The astonishing show of club unity is also a powerful vindication of the demanding new standards of Captain Russell.

Four Lanes

Let us pray that it is not an early pinnacle of His second coming!!!

At one point Lord Admin was overheard to mutter that there were "too many people here", but his office have since retracted this as "mis-speak" after a subsequent update of the weekly accounts showed a marked increase in revenue.

Legends in attendance at Le Galleon included the very dishonourable Coco McGogo, Jerry 'Lohan' Garcia & both Sir Shanton John AND his new bride Dame Bimbo Furnish.

There are now only 2 (two) nets remaining this pre-season on the next two Saturday's, 17th & 24th March.

The Russell Regime hereby urges a note of caution. We cannot get carried away with this amazingness and must ensure that a high attendance is maintained. See you next Saturday, normal rules apply.

The opportunity that Bimbo's been waiting for...

http://tranentcc.hitscricket.co.uk/news/2012/default.aspx#news45346http://tranentcc.hitscricket.co.uk/news/2012/default.aspx#news45346

Russell Regime Diktat # 0001

After years of lackadaisical 1st XI captaincy, Crossers have become used to a relaxed and enjoyable environment in which to enjoy their cricket. However, the team are now 'Under New Management'!!!

This is the first of a new series of commandments coming from the new, stricter, more driven captaincy team. Of course, I was an architect of the Old Way, but after being pinned against the wall at nets today by Mr Russell, I'm now a fully loyal member of the New Way.

With spittle firing angrily from his snarling gob I was told in no uncertain terms to send one of my "ranty things on the website" to inform the membership of the importance of attending nets. While all teams could be better represented, the 1st XI especially were under-represented.

Stealing a trick from top level sport, any player now claiming to be injured, shall now have to attend nets where a specialist physiotherapy unit shall examine the 'alleged' injury/ies. This will consist of being stood betwixt Coco & Mr Russell and only those demonstrably less fit than Them shall be given leave, albeit with a detailed exercise programme (20 tabs and a knee support).

Also, henceforth, all Crossers shall have to submit a Request Form to Mr Russell before booking any holidays. This should alleviate the constant 'off the island' excuses we seem to suffer despite nets and match dates being available weeks or months in advance.

Is this angry enough Dougie???

PS: I'm very, very aware of the hypocritical strain infecting this piece!!!!!

OMG!

http://yfrog.com/mocvgij