Double the fun

'Come and celebrate the 30th birthday of two long serving irascible crossers at Prestonfield Golf Club on Sat 12 March.

Contrary to initial suggestions, this prestigious event is in honour of EC & CA Smith and not McGill and Smudger!

The Smiths cordially invite all club members(and WAGs) to this ceilidh event with doors opening at 8pm. There will be a light (especially after EC has been up) finger buffet on offer and dress should be 'informal ceildih'.

Just respond here or drop either EC or CA a wee text to let them know if you can make it... There is plenty of time to make arrangements so it would great to see you all there.

Division 8 Divided

The ESCA fixture computer (aka PVB) is in near meltdown after a torrid week, but the draft fixtures are out. More on that soon, but one key development needs to be reported immediately.

Division 8 is the half the division it used to be. Back in November the East League agm approved a slightly expanded 16 team division (see here) but this has proved impossible to accommodate and the Committee has decided to replace it with two divisions of 8. The 3rds are in Division 8, along with Drummond Trinity 2nds, Dunfermline 3rds, Kirk Brae 2nds, Largo 3rds, Leith FAB 3rds, Murrayfield DAFS 4ths and SMRH 4ths. Just 14 games are scheduled and they will start on 7th May (a fortnight after the 1sts) and finish in early August.

Sadly, this means we won't have a League game against Scott, Josie and our other Tranent friends, but we have arranged a midweek evening game for August.

Breaking News, 25th January - PVB has burst back into life and contrived an 18 game solution for Division 8.

Scottish Cup Draw-home tie for HX.

http://www.cricketscotland.com/node/21950

Is this Holy Cross' first ever appearance in the Scottish Cup? (or like the European Cup-Champions League change, has the 'expansion' of the event diluted the competition in some way so that though it is still called the Scottish Cup it is no longer 'the Scottish Cup'? ... er,  hopefully that makes sense)..

3rd team...4th Party

http://notjustanotherpolitician.blogspot.com/2011/01/put-scotland-first-and-back-scottish.html

Inverleith Park

Given that we (and other East League clubs) use it, Crossers may be interested in recent proposals concerning Inverleith Park (as we Crossers know it is not the only local authority facility that may be developed in this manner..).

http://www.inverleithpark.co.uk/#/save-the-park/4546597877

Nets

Right, that's quite enough from KF. There can be only one Club Eeyore and that position is reserved for the great JLRB. No more negativity - remember that the word "hope" is in the club motto (Sancta Crux Spes Nostra). The snow has melted, I think I saw the sun come out for a minute or two today and many Crossers are still basking in the unexpected glow of Ashes victory (apologies, Shannon and Pat). Cricket must be just around the corner. Why, even our cyber-stalker has come out of hibernation.

So, time to start limbering up for indoor nets, which will be held, as last year, at the Galleon sports hall at George Watsons College on Collinton Road. There are four lanes so plenty of space for any random cricket obsessives you've bumped into over the winter. Times and dates as follows -

• Saturday 5th March, 2-4.
• Saturday 12th March, 2-4.
• Saturday 19th March, 2-4.
• Saturday 26th March, 2-4.
• Saturday 2nd April, 2-4.

Blurb Review

A New Year and mood of change is clearly with us. After the proposal to replace the club badge, KF now suggests that Mr Admin's 'boringly polite' blurb (see the left hand side of your screen) should be replaced with something more honest. Here is his draft; comments, amendments welcome:

We play on a council owned pitch which, early in the season is pock-marked by rugby studs and have no nets, sightscreens or covers, never mind a youth set-up (all under 18’s are fast tracked into the 1^st XI). We are surrounded on three sides by bigger and more successful clubs with better facilities. The ground is next to a main road which often encourages members of the public to hurl friendly slurs at us from passing cars.

Our spacious (if slightly decrepit) changing rooms with communal showers were boarded up years ago and we are currently waiting for some local youths to finish the job of burning them down. We now change in a poky metal shipping container with a leaky lav. Despite having more than 60 players registered, we often struggle to find 33 fit and available bodies every Saturday where we have teams in Divisions 1, 5 and 8 of the East League. We also participate in the first round of Sunday cup tournaments and regularly allow teams from lower divisions to thrash us in midweek 20/20 competitions. Promotion for our 1^st XI would be a disaster for the club.

There is a strict policy of only beating the best team in the league whilst surrendering meekly to the basement boys. In recent seasons our 2^nd & 3^rd XI’s have taken this policy a little further by successfully being relegated. Futile attempts have been made to improve all of the above, but we’ve been beaten down by circumstance and reality at every turn. We now accept our status and frown on any attempts to better the meagre resources we already have.

Whether you are resident in Edinburgh or just passing through, if you’d like to play competitive cricket (ability, or lack of, absolutely not an issue), with an eclectic bunch of so called cricketers we would be delighted to hear from you. We do hire (if not always use) nets just around the corner every week throughout the season and also run ‘winter’ nets during the close season. You can contact us via the website.

Badge of Honour?

There has long been a concern amongst the more paranoid club members that the Holy Cross badge raises the ire of certain opponents and attracts poor lbw decisions from independent umpires.

Because of this, one section of the HX membership will propose this alternative badge (which retains the club colours) at the 2011 AGM. Your thoughts welcome.

KF on the Ashes 2010-11: (Part 4)- World Domination Beckons

[KF's final commentary on the 2010-11 Ashes]

Having identified from my couch by the end of the 4^th Test that the two things you didn’t want to do in this series was win the toss or bat first, I near choked on my midnight Pimms when Michael Clarke foolishly won the toss and then batted at Sydney. Strewth. When the boat is fast taking in water, you can do without the skipper merrily urinating in the bailing bucket. An atrocious start for Australia’s captain-elect which was compounded when England went on to clobber their biggest ever (EVER) total down under. It’s obviously not all Clarke’s fault but first impressions count apparently. Like the whole series for Australia, it could have been worse, but not much.

Electing to bat in conditions English bowlers can usually only dream of, in no time the hapless hosts were 189-8 and in all sorts of disrepair. As usual, this was down to a mix of Australian inconsistency and English consistency. However, while sticking to a successful field plan for the ‘recognised’ batsmen, Strauss almost collaborated with the Australian tail opening up large gaps and failing to attack in any sense. Johnson & Hilfenhaus made hay while the sun shone.

Strauss appears to be a top class captain for England as an opening bat, an ambassador and man-to-man, but to me his biggest weakness is his ultra conservative tactical intransigence. It allows situations to be wrested from England’s control when a much more positive approach is called for and would surely do no worse. While it ultimately made no difference to the outcome in this match, the difference between say 195-10 and the actual 1^st innings total of 280 shows an area where Strauss needs to seriously improve. Another example I’d suggest is his use of Swann, which at times appears to me to be more like he’s tried everything else and now it’s the spinners turn, rather than thinking of Swann as a genuine attacking option.

One big positive for Australia in a sea of negatives was the first impression from Khawaja. Australia’s crackpot selectors only decided to ask the debutant to fill the shoes of some hacker called Ponting and save the series. Despite this idiocy (why not move Clarke & Hussey up one and ease Khawaja in a bit more?) his attitude showed no signs of inhibition. But worryingly in the short term, he looks to have as many Achilles heels as Hughes when examined closely by the relentless England attack. Both these Aussie ‘youngsters’ need work and if they’re able to shore up the leaky defensive shortcomings and develop like I’m sure they will, they look really sensational when they’re attacking and if you’re Australian, neutral or just pro-cricket, promise to shine very brightly in future. The reversal in Alastair Cook’s fortunes is as far as they need to look for inspiration.

While football still holds out against the inevitable introduction of ‘video technology’ I find it interesting to watch the ongoing development of its use in cricket. What can’t be questioned is that more correct decisions are being made which is brilliant. But there is still a bit of controversy. You may have heard Sir Beefy calling Hughes a cheat for claiming a catch when the ball was shown to have bounced first. A couple of things here. First, pre-technology Hughes/Australia may have been awarded the catch and history may have unfolded differently (if only the DRS was in place when Kasprowicz was incorrectly given out in that 2005 cliffhanger at Birmingham with 2 runs needed to go 2-0 up with 3 to play in a series England ultimately won 2-1). But now, all players know that they are under the scrutiny of hotspot, hawkeye and super slo-mo and therefore if they claim something they know to be wrong, the 3^rd umpires decision will be along in a minute to expose them on the big screen to the whole crowd. In time, I’m sure the use of ‘technology’ will force players to play more fairly, a process I think has already started. Surely a good thing. Bottom line is that more correct decisions are being made, games aren’t being spoiled by howlers from the umpires and players are in the main being forced to be more honest or being exposed when they aren’t (the sooner its in the East League the better…).

Secondly, for England or Sir Ian to throw cheating accusations is very rich. Suppose England appeal for an LBW and the umpire says not out. Then England don’t review the decision, as has happened on many occasions, why were they actually appealing? If they think its out, appeal and if it’s not given, review it. Otherwise I’d suggest appealing for a wicket when you don’t think its out is cheating also. Or what about Ian Bell being asked by Nasser Hussein “yes or no, did you nick it” referring to the hotspot/snicko anomaly that got Bell off the hook after being given out caught behind. A hundred word answer followed that didn’t include the words ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Hussein persevered asking if Bell had heard a sound. “There may have been a sound” he replied. Beyond reasonable doubt I’d say he nicked it and knew it but decided to review (or as Sir Ian might say cheat) it purely because it was a free review (somewhat undermining my argument about increasing honesty, but when a review can be called for is one of the ongoing aspects of the DRS evolution).

Another area where England have massively poo’d all over Australia is in the realm of luck. To pick one example, Alastair Cook holing out on 46, giving Beer his first Test scalp, before Silly Bowden asked upstairs whither the Beer ball was a no ball. A further 143 Lazarean runs were consequently pocketed by the Ozzies arch slayer. Prior benefited similarly at Melbourne. Various Aussies have been grumbling including all time leading chunterer Glenn McGrath. Whatever the ins and outs, the grey areas in the process etc, fact is, they were no balls, the batsmen weren’t out and the correct decision was reached. When you’re generally better, you’re generally luckier. How lucky England have been at times, I don’t think I can even recall the Aussies being lucky once, is yet another illustration if any were needed that England have been so much better in this series than their hosts (as I was trying to convince you Shifters in the St Vincent after 2 Tests (3 innings defeat FFS)).

Lastly, if you haven’t seen it I’d suggest you look at Will Swanton’s (anagram Wanton Swill) unerringly incorrect Ashes preview entitled 10 Reasons Why Australia Will Win The Ashes. I’ve been heckled before for not making more predictions, this is what happens when you do!!!!

Follow the Leader

Our captains (and those currently plotting to take over from them)
may find this Radio 4 programme interesting:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00x4018

lucky escape...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s93XgGOIyUQ

and some good umpiring too!

Cricketing Colemanballs

[KF has passed on some mirth from a stocking filler…]

Nobody’s perfect, you know what happened to the last man who was, they crucified him. – Geoff Boycott

Geoffrey is the only fellow I’ve met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since – Dennis Lillee

I was never coached, I was never told how to hold a bat – Donald Bradman

Have nothing to do with coaches. In fact, if you see one coming, go and hide behind the pavilion until he goes away – Bill O’Reilly

Cowans should remember what happened to Graham Dilley, who started out as a genuinely quick bowler. They started stuffing ‘line and length’ into his ear and now he has Dennis Lillee’s action with Denis Thatcher’s pace – Geoff Boycott

We don’t play this game for fun – Wilfred Rhodes

We didn’t have any metaphors in my day, we didn’t beat about the bush – Fred Trueman

The slow motion replay doesn’t show how fast that ball was – Richie Benaud

The Queens Park Oval, exactly as the name suggests, absolutely round. – Tony Cozier

Welcome to Worcester where we’ve just seen Barry Richards hit one of Basil D’Oliveira’s balls clean out of the ground – Brian Johnston.

Eric Morecambe to Dennis Lillee – Are you aware, Sir, that the last time I saw anything like that on a top lip, the whole herd had to be put down.

So, how’s your wife and my kids? – Rod Marsh (to Botham)

You can’t have 11 Darren Gough’s in your side – it would drive you nuts. It would be like having 11 Phil Tufnells – Darren Gough

Aussie fans banner – England will win if Camilla Parker bowls.

Merv Hughes 5^th form geography report;

When Merv leaves school he is going to have to be very good at cricket and football.

I’d have looked even faster in colour – Fred Trueman

When asked what he looked forward to most after returning home after the Indian tour, Phil Edmonds replied “A dry fart.”

I can’t really say I’m batting badly. I’m not batting long enough to be batting badly – Greg Chappell

Cricket, like the upper classes and standards in general, is in permanent decline – Alan Ross, poet.

Cricket civilises people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe. I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen – Robert Mugabe

There were congratulations and high sixes all round – Richie Benaud

When we were living in Sydney a friend told me that one night, while she and her husband were making love, she suddenly noticed something sticking in his ear. When she asked him what it was he replied ‘Be quiet, I’m listening to the cricket’ – Vicky Rantzen

Denis Compton was the only player to call his partner for a run and wish him luck at the same time - John Warr

Neil Harvey’s at slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle – Brian Johnston

And finally…

What a magnificent shot. No, he’s out – Tony Greig