SIoppy Cross punished by Van JaarsveId

Activcity Trophy Semi -at Meggetland

Marchmont 124ao
Van Jaarsveld 49
Loeffen 30

Bonfield 4/19/3
Bainbridge 2/24/0
Marsh 2/19/0
Trewartha 4/21/3
Russell 4/27/2
Ellis 4/9/2

Holy Cross 117-7
Ellis 43
Mahzer 37
Loeffen 3-13

Match report:
11 pIayers ready to pIay at toss time wouId heIp
Catches win Matches
Don't bowl short dross to a strong man with a 4lb bat!
Don't smack it straight to their best fieIder

But at Ieast it aIIowed  to enjoy the very entertaining finaI between
 Marchmont and MusseIburgh- Marchmont winning by 1 run
well done to them. report here

Fixture Congestion Eased

At the behest of Lord Admin, we have been busily engaging in a purge of fixture commitments by exiting tournaments in some haste.

Apologies for lack of details, I don't have any scorecards to hand.

On Sunday we travelled to Glasgow Accies (Gaccies v Haccies?) and were beaten with a couple of overs to spare. We made 144 all out which just wasn't enough in the end, top scorer most likely Gary T. Highlights included a comedy leave to a steepler by McGill on the boundary (as he didn't touch it, it doesn't count as a drop) and the best over of Dougie's career as he unleashed some unfeasible turn. Super Ted let us down badly after recent cup heroics collecting a Golden amidst a hat-trick and trashing his 1st XI average. Later Broonster incurred some jewel damage in a plucky last wicket stand and has been sitting down very carefully ever since.

Quote of the day by Broonster; "Stood on the scales this morning and I've lost 14lbs in two months. Nearly lost 2 stones in a day in Glasgow".

Man of the match - Their 5-for debutant.

Just found this - Glasgow Accies v Holy Cross
Note - This scorecard says Ted & Ziggy both made 1, from 1 ball, and were bowled. I'll need that explained to me.

Note the car headlights in the car park

On Tuesday we had the pleasure of playing on the Arty at Roseburn against Mufs in another semi final. It was damp, grey and gloomy at the start and got damper, greyer and gloomier. Ach I'll just come out and say it, Bimbo dropped the cup!!! Asif Mohammed who went on to blast 64 in no time was on about 2 when he toed one high towards long on, but Bimbo's bouncy mitts gave the Mufs man a second chance.

Gary T chips one into the gap

The next over Trewartha was blasted for two 6's and a 4 and wasn't the only one to suffer. So Dougie chucked the ball to Bimbo and asked him to make amends, but said ball was then brutally despatched straight back over his head and probably over the Water of Leith as well. It was never found. A local battleaxe walking her great great great grandchild took that opportunity to scold our humble skipper along the lines of Health & Safety (even although the ball cleared the path, the curmudgeon and her little miracle by about 3,000 feet).

Once Mohammed departed, the Cross bowlers regained control and were able to restrict the hosts to only 139. Owais (7), Me (7) & McO (2) got us off to a rubbish start. Gary T salvaged a decent 30 in the middle somewhere, but the rest of us were unable to deal with the scoreboard pressure, the invisible ball and the dancing feet of their opening bowler (you had to be there). The innings finished with Sandy & Andy R needing just eight 6's from the last 8 balls and they let us down very badly as the innings concluded at 93-10 from 19 overs.

Man of the Match - Bobby Bainbridge.

Club About To Get A Whole Lot Uglier

As our former part-time skipper and easily the best looking dude on Planet Arbo (apologies Nozza) is about to take his winning smile to Madchester in pursuit of some golden shekels, I thought what better a time could there be to run through some photo's to remind us in years to come of his impact at our great club.

After leaving university, E.C. launched his crooning career via the star making vehicle X-Factor, the show we all know and love. With the surname Smith already taken, E.C. had to come up with something snazzy and chose to adopt the psuedonym Joe McElderry.

Fame came with its downside though. Often seen around the city in his little red 'rooster' extension the ladies began to swarm all over our innocent hero. Despite his apparent happiness in the photo above, these smiling eyes hide the pain of a man looking for more than 365 different lovers a year (?). Bad times and persistent hair loss were just around the corner.

Celebrities queued up to get a piece of the action. Here is our former skip in 2009 with Fauldhouse counterpart Gok Wan. Relations cooled when Wan criticised the size of our man's shovels during a Tea Break. Fellow first teamers of the time are still unsure if this is the "psycho bird" he used to refer to around this time.

Here is our departing friend cosying up to the ex-wife of sabbatical wicketkeeper, Si Hackering of Geordie Shore fame. The pair have always denied tabloid claims that they "did it in the boot of Smudgers Volvo" although alleged cctv footage does exist of nocturnal goings on in the 'Arbo container'.

In 2007 the Smith clan were rocked to their foundations when a long lost son of Smudger appeared. Here is E.C. with his half-brother D.J. Like Papa Smudger, they share a love of Barry Manilow, facial hair and crack cocaine.

Once the celebrity lifestyle spiralled out of control, close friends, family and Crossers were shocked to see the above photo appear on the front page of the now defunct News of the World. Summoned by El Presidente to the Green Room for urgent talks, E.C. agreed to leave the vacuous pop world behind and apply himself to the game of cricket.

Now crooning purely for fun in his spare time, E.C. has rediscovered what makes him tick. Mainly this is repeating his one shot whilst batting, bowling comedy wides or belting out Manilow hits on the top deck of the 27 bus. Recently E.C. vowed 'never to take a catch again' and stuck to his promise with a rotten drop v East Academy.

That's surely enough for now folks. Although we've lost two young Smith's in as many months, when E.C. was reminded that our Constitution declares Smudger must provide a male heir for selection, E.C. quipped "I'm sure the old man's loins are still fertile".

On that note...

Last Trophy of 2011: First of 2012..

Presidents Trophy Final Replay -29/4/12
At Grange Loan.

Fauldhouse 103ao (33.5 overs)
D. Mulligan 51
S. Bonfield 6-11

Holy Cross 104/4 (29 overs)
D. Russell 40
D. Law 2-28

Possibly too cold for cricket..

Cheers to:
Carlton CC for hosting and preparing a good strip.
The umpires (Bruce Dixon and Jim Brims) for sticking it out in such dire weather.
Popey for travelling up and stepping in as sub keeper.
Roshan for turning out and putting in a good shift in the field.
Coco and Jon for scoring.

Good catches to dismiss Zahid (EC) and Derek (Andy Q) were crucial to keeping the Fauldhouse score low. Shannon in fine form - off stump taking a bit of a beating.

...breaking news...
more good news.. Nozzer makes the semi-final of his Pool tournament...

Caption competition