5 under 30 !

[Andy G reports on the 3rds game at Dunfermline. Some of the references may be lost on older readers...well me at least. cje].

The car journey through was quite a fun one hearing stories from the night before (Ted's clubbing tactics) and learning that Jonny Ladd hasn't set foot in fingers [that sounds painful] - I feel the Holy X BBQ team should head there next sat so Ladd can see the big time. The 'young team' (Andy G, Cunningham, Ted and Jonny) arrived first at Dunfermline to be greeted by a 'sweet old man' who asked us if it would be possible to help him remove the covers from the strip. What we didn't realise was that we were about to reveal the wettest wicket we had ever seen - the old boy wasn't happy at the ''f****** f*** c****'' who had played on it the day before and had ruined his precious surface! [I feel his pain].

Fortunately the pitch had an artificial strip [um -that sentence would profit from a re-write] so it was game on but not before an inquiry about the number of ringers in the Holy X side!! One Dunfermline player stated that he hadn't seen a HX 3rd XI with so many youngsters - with 5 under 30 yrs old: AG's secret plan to get rid of anyone over 45 youth policy is obviously working!!

Skip Lawrie won the toss and elected to field - an excellent decision! We opened with Matt Cunningham and Keith Geddes. After giving Malinga a few pointers midweek, Matt took wickets in his 1st and 2nd overs with balls that swung both ways as well as moving off the seam in each direction [??]. He took a third later in his spell. Bowling very well, Matt could have had a handful [hatful?]- Russell Eberst pulling off a fantastic dive which came millimetres from the catch of his the century. Keith joined the party [surely he's been a member since he was 18?] too by adding 2 of his own - inc. the old codger from the start - an annoyed Keith bowled an extra quick one after the old boy requested that the next (''c***'') batsman stopped warming up in the nets!

After bowling their overs out, Keith and Matt combined had 5 wickets for around 40 runs. Now it was time for the youth policy to take full effect - Coco and Ellis Snr stepped to the plate [bloody Americanisms!].

Both bowled with the complete lack of pace guile and elegance that has come to be expected by the 3s. The wickets tumbled, including Dunfermline's very young and very good opening batsman (unsure of name) who scored 44 with no lives lost [?? lets hope not..only a game etc..] before he sucumed to Ellis Snr's bowling and was caught by Graham at mid off. Ellis Snr ended up with 4 wickets and Coco 1 [grrrr] - via a top spinner that dipped right at the last second (lovely!).

Special mention to a top fielding effort - the best display I've seen all year [praise indeed!] with the batsmen hardly getting the ball off the square and very few 4s being hit; thanks to Ted on the offside chasing hard to the boundary! (good to see he had some energy left..) Nick Jones took his first Cross catch (a jug) [why was he catching a jug during a cricket match?] and Jonny Ladd was even eager to get the helmet on at silly mid on ... What a lad! [this is getting smutty].

Final score 81 all out. We were offered tea either then or after our innings but wise words came from Ted Allat ''We should have tea now ... The hangover needs fed!''

Cracking tea BTW! [that's 'by the way', btw]

Opening the batting were Coastal and Dave Gilmour Mike Nevin. They made around 30 which gave us a solid platform. There was the usual dodgy running between the wickets until Mike got an edge to the wickey from the batsman [not a bowler?] who scored all their runs (he got all their wickets too) [ah...now I understand]. Their leg spinner was on form, getting Matt and Ken via edges too!

At around 50-3 Andy G (24*) and Ellis Snr (14*) finished off the innings by spanking the ball around. Andy G hit the leggy for 3 fours in a row obviously all classical cover drives slog sweeps!

A brilliant victory for the Cross one which will be remembered for Ellis Snr's wickets, Andy G's pulling, Ted's pulling the night before and some awesome fielding!