Webb posting

by KF. If you thought I had too much time on my hands with the Safety 1st XI, what about this?!?!?! Listeners to Off the Ball on a Saturday lunchtime (the self proclaimed 'most petty & ill-informed football show on radio') will know that hosts Cosgrove & Cowan often have a dig at TV chef Gordon Ramsay. The foul mouthed one has gained a bit of a reputation for talking himself up and maybe being a bit liberal with the truth, the most famous of his claims being his alleged previous career as a Glasgow Rangers footballer. I can't help but see similarities between Chef Ramsay and tipped-for-the-top Cross youngster, Mr Norberticus Webmaster. Here is a comparison of their respective claims to fame. See if you can pick out the fact from the fiction.

Education

Ramsey was expelled from school on the 2nd day of Primary 1 after learning some cuss words from boys in P2.

Webb was so bright at elite Fettes College that all records of him attending and his stunning achievements have since been destroyed so as not to dishearten subsequent pupils. Preferring to stay incognito, Webb actually ran the UK by proxy for a while around the turn of the century using his former chauffeur at Fettes (A. L. Bliar) until that night in 2003 when Tony won at poker with two Chemical Ali's in his hand (is this one a bit too contrived or obscure?). Norrie says "that Bliar just couldn't be trusted".

Business

Ramsey runs a michelin starred establishment in the heart of London

Webb owns a national car dealership (motto: Any model, any colour). This involves him 'sourcing' cars to order from any part of the UK at bargain basement prices. He will even deliver straight to your door. Say no more eh Norrie;) For further details, see 1st team skipper. Rumours of an escort business with the same motto are purely tabloid tittle-tattle.

Sport

Ramsey once played a reserve game for Rangers.

Webb routinely trounced Stephen Hendry at snooker in his teens, but as soon as he started getting discounted pints in his local boozer, soon lost interest in the green baize hence the disparity since in World titles. If only Norrie wasn't so handsome!!!

Alcohol

Ramsay invented Gin.

Webb claims never to have to pay the actual price of a pint when he visits a pub. Usually there is a discount, but occasionally it can cost more. It all depends on the barmaid serving him of course. But alcohol has no effect on Norrie anyway.

Film

Ramsey co-wrote Mystic Pizza with his half brother Derren Brown.

Webb, after revolutionising boxing with his Rocky series in the 70's, Norrie stayed out of the limelight for a while before winning oscars for writing, directing and starring (in all four leading roles) in 90's cult hit Trainspotting. What a talent.

Internet

Ramsey invented the internet whilst at Stanford taking a year out from Harvard but allowed his then dishwasher Berners-Lee to take the credit.

Webb came up with the name for websites allowing the dropping of a 'B' to save printer ink and overall typing time. A sharp business brain, he ensured he gets 0.01p every time someone uses the term 'website'.

Wealth

Ramsey is 2nd equal on Scotlands rich list alongside Hedge Fund mogul Sir Jonny Bates.

Webb is Scotlands richest man but never tells anyone this. What a guy.

Charity

Ramsey sponsors England opener A Cook.

Webb unlikely as it may seem, is actually A Cook's Daddy.

TV

Ramsey often swaps recipes with Delia Smith

Webb claims Delia's famous tv 'Lets be 'avin ya' rant was a direct on air chat-up for her suave Scottish lothario who was sourcing a nice motor in Norfolk that very night. What a player!!!

Thats enough for now....

more info about this mysterious character can be gleaned from his er...informative blog:
http://norrie-holycrosscricketclubcom.blogspot.com/

Cross 1- Largo 1, 3rds Won!

Saturday results digest:

1sts.-at East Drive, Largo

Largo 92ao
R. Worsnop 3/19
S. Bonfield 3/22
P. Lynch 2/22

Holy Cross 93/1
E. Smith 30*
S. Pickering 24
C. Ellis 29*

2nds (Arbo)
Holy Cross 2nd XI 139 (R Samuel 37; R Mowat 3-5)
Largo 2nd XI 140-8 (G Lohan 3 for not many but more than Bob Mowat).

Reports on the above matches (from Largo perspective)
http://tinyurl.com/6ksepmj

Admin adds: A brisk start against the Largo openers took us to 60-1 after about 12 and briefly sparked dreams of 200+. The introduction of slower change bowlers, notably the evergreen Bob Mowat, brought wickets and slowed the scoring so far that 100+ now looked good. Big hitting from Roshan (two 6s this week) made 150+ look possible before the last two wickets fell in two balls.

Vik and Roshan then bowled tight, accurate opening bursts before Gerry took three wickets in a typically skillful and miserly spell. With the opposition 60-odd for 4 and later 100-odd for 7 20 points looked on, but some sensible and spirited batting from the young tail saw Largo home. Certainly better than last week, especially the catching, but still much room for improvement. PS - nice to see Popey on a flying visit from Leeds.


3rds (Inverleith)

SMRH 3rds 177-8
Robin MacQueen 45, David Naper 32, Ewan Campbell 25*
Keith Geddes 2-30

Holy Cross 3rds 178-6 in 36.3 overs
Mike Nevin 39, Brian Fraser 31*, Ken Lawrie 25
Oscar Ball 2-32

...further details to follow...

Norrie 2's gain opening win but are only winners as 3rds lose and 1sts undone by Lakshminarasimhaswamy

..... HX Saturday results digest...

1sts
Div 1-Meggetland

a good pitch helped create a good match.
Some rusty bowling and fielding (especially by us) on display but plenty good batting.
Key partnership was that of 80 for the 7th wicket between Hutchinson and Manam who looked like a VERY good no. 8.
HX were well in it until a very unfortunate run out
broke a promising 8th wicket partnership between EC and Bimbo who looked to be in good form.

Boroughmuir 271ao
M. Sachdeva 75, E. Hutchinson 83, M. Manam 43, S. McGrath 38.
S. Bonfield 4/37


Holy Cross
246ao
S. Pickering 43, E. Smith 43, S. Bonfield 32, K. Fraser 29.
M. Lakshminarasimhaswamy 4/37 [think that's the full version: never have I regretted asking 'BOWLER'S NAME' so much...]
M. Sachdeva 3/35

2nds and 3rds details from PVB...

2nds
Div 5 at Arboretum

Old Contemptibles 169-9 (8) : Holy Cross 170-7.

Lomax and Kumar transformed OC's score with a 7th wkt partnership of 80+ with spectacular striking of the ball. HX's runs were shared between Bates (23), Bailey (35), skipper Webb (47) and Cydzik (35?).

It was great to meet up with our friends from OC who have moved up to div 5 and will be a wonderful addition there. Neither side seemed interested in catching the ball; apart from 2 stumpings from Shifty (HX) and a caught behind for OC, no outfield catches were taken at all.

Both clubs were delighted with the debuts of Kumar (runs & wkts) for OC and Roshan (HX - 9 overs for 13 runs).

3rds
Div 8 at Campbell Park.

Kirk Brae 2nd XI about 170 beat Holy Cross 3rd XI by about 40. (no details other than a fine 63 for Matt Cunningham making his debut for HX)...I do hear that McGill's innings may have been a short one...though he did receive a jaffa...

Nozzer's XI Win Battle of the Cross

EC's XI 145/7
J. Bates 50
O.Mazher 29
Wickets for Dougie, Pat, Calum and Norrie.

Norrie's XI 146/6
D. Russell about 45*
Norrie 40ish
Millington 15* ish
Wickets for Jon, Shannon, Rob

Pitch played ok given that it was the edge strip and that it was April the 16th! (as KF points out-just too early). Certainly Jon, Dougie, Owais and Norrie all played with impressive fluency. Some good bowling and batting performances though the ground fielding was ...ahem a bit rusty. But good to get some time in the middle before the season starts.

Reminder-nets this Wednesday evening at Newfield.