As many of you will already know, earlier this week, our youthful and vigorous match secretary, "Matthew Broderick", sent out an e-mail asking all Crossers to advise him of their availability for the coming season and requesting that:
...... if you are prone to injury, cough "John Jeffrey" cough, please can you schedule your injuries so that they don't coincide with any matches."John" replied almost instantly
Dear "Matthew", cough precocious whippersnapper cough,
When you get to my age (double yours) then perhaps, and even then only if you're still playing, will I accept being lectured about sporting injuries.
Whilst in the past I admit I have been subject to random potshots by the Arbo sniper, I firmly believe that, as I am ageing, so is he. I am confident that his shooting abilities will decline as his eyesight fails - much like my own - and I can continue to enjoy playing the game I love - rugby, ooops, sorry, cricket.
In point of fact, there is a good chance that he may switch targets to someone less mobile than myself, as it is much easier to hit a static target. My winter fitness regime, I am sure, will leave me in good stead in this regard. As a club you may note that there are many more obvious targets hobbling about on a Saturday. However, "Matthew", I do feel that, having watched your performance on Saturday, it is only right and proper to warn you that you need to be on your guard. Age is no defence. I was first targeted as a 19 year old and have yet to shake him off.
Furthermore, "Matthew", and on behalf of the numerous old codgers who continue to ply our trade on a Saturday, I do feel that it is slightly inappropriate to have a youngster like yourself bringing up the touchy subject of injury in this way. Whilst we may make every effort to ease and cajole our aching, weary bones around the field on a Saturday, very often only with the benefit and comfort to be achieved from our good friends, IBU Profen and DEE Pheat, I really think you need to look closer to home as to why these alleged injuries occur.
Perhaps if a little more effort and exuberance was shown in the field by the younger generation (of which I am sure you would agree you are one) then the longevity of the more experienced among us, and our ability to pass on the knowledge and experience gained over the years, would be greatly increased.
I am sure you will take this minor criticism in the spirit that it was intended and I look forward to a little help with my Zimmer and kitbag during the next match. (If you could persuade any of your harem with massage experience to practice hers skills on a Saturday then I'm sure that would also be of great benefit.)
Looking forward to more sunny Saturdays.
Regards,
"John".
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