Ad-hoc Ashes Spraffings cont

Unbeloivable mate

Was speaking to a mate the other day who was asking me what I thought the Australians chances were in this Ashes series. After reminding him predictions were for plonkers, I replied 'absolute doddle mate, Aussies will walk it 4-0. This England mob are ageing, unmotivated and lead by a feeble skipper who can't score runs'.

Seems the Aussies took my previous advice and began praying hard for Harris & Johnson after day 1 - accumulated figures so far 9-103 compared to Anderson & Broad 10-276.

I went to bed during England's first innings (day 2) just after KP gave his wicket away. At this point there was nothing at all suggest what would come.

It had been a strange mornings play up til that point. Carberry looked like he'd ease his way to a triple century although Cook didnt look too comfy. The Aussie bowlers were adhering to one dimensional plans e.g. for Cook, it was to pitch it on a good to full length and not allow him any freebies off the back foot.

Johnson having sprayed half his deliveries down leg was swiftly removed after just 3 poor overs. Harris and Siddle barely kept me awake and then just like that, Harris bowled the very first good ball of the morning, Cook snicked it and the whole momentum shifted.

On yer bike Trott!!!

Trott arrived with his impeccable Test average and proceeded to bat like a complete fandangle. It appears he can't play short balls. It appears the opposition have taken 3,700 odd test runs to figure this out. It appears all the Aussies have to do is bowl short at him. In no time he was shuffling back to the dressing room. On this form his place in the second test must be in doubt, in fact his whole future England career must hang in the balance. And I was calling him world class four days ago.

And I think that was more or less the best of the English innings over. Fantabulous for the neutral, Series on!!!

What surprises me is the simplicity of the Australian revival. They have a few ridiculously obvious plans and they're sticking to them. And the mighty England can't cope.

1. Nothing short at Cook
2. Everything short at Trott
3. Spinner against KP
4. Get Johnson to bowl fast
5. Attack Swann (and third seamer if possible)

There is some solace for panicking English. I'd advise they get a couple of simple plans of their own (as long as one of them is not Broad bowling short at Clarke who slapped the first bouncer he faced in the 2nd innings for 4 in about as perfect a text book example as he could manage, but this didn't stop Broad feeding him a few more before Cook wisely changed bowlers). For instance, if England can't find a chink in Warner's armour and exploit it, they don't deserve to win a single test match in this series.

There is also the curious accumulation of first innings disasters by England on foreign tours in the last couple of years. From an English point of view, this test is just a continuation in this sequence and therefore not worth worrying too much about. I will turn my attention to trying to solve this curiosity once I've worked out how it is that Hearts are able to continuously get the better of Hibs in Edinburgh derbies no matter the year, personnel or disgraceful condition of the former.