Russell Regime Diktat # 0001

After years of lackadaisical 1st XI captaincy, Crossers have become used to a relaxed and enjoyable environment in which to enjoy their cricket. However, the team are now 'Under New Management'!!!

This is the first of a new series of commandments coming from the new, stricter, more driven captaincy team. Of course, I was an architect of the Old Way, but after being pinned against the wall at nets today by Mr Russell, I'm now a fully loyal member of the New Way.

With spittle firing angrily from his snarling gob I was told in no uncertain terms to send one of my "ranty things on the website" to inform the membership of the importance of attending nets. While all teams could be better represented, the 1st XI especially were under-represented.

Stealing a trick from top level sport, any player now claiming to be injured, shall now have to attend nets where a specialist physiotherapy unit shall examine the 'alleged' injury/ies. This will consist of being stood betwixt Coco & Mr Russell and only those demonstrably less fit than Them shall be given leave, albeit with a detailed exercise programme (20 tabs and a knee support).

Also, henceforth, all Crossers shall have to submit a Request Form to Mr Russell before booking any holidays. This should alleviate the constant 'off the island' excuses we seem to suffer despite nets and match dates being available weeks or months in advance.

Is this angry enough Dougie???

PS: I'm very, very aware of the hypocritical strain infecting this piece!!!!!