Happy Christmas Crossers.
No, not another madcap prediction, just a wee flashback to 2010. That is what happened just three years ago tonight!!!
Seven of the current Aussie wrecking machine played in that match. As did seven of the present England mob. Cold hard (but flawed) logic states that the the inclusion of Rogers, Warner, Bailey and Lyon has improved the hosts beyond all sane predictions. The loss of Strauss, Trott, Collingwood and Tremlett could be seen as a more important factor in this beguiling tour. But Tremlett is on this tour, just not selected, and Broad having played for this touring side in all three tests is hardly making the visitors weaker.
Hindsighters have been in full flow these last few weeks. The bookies did predict a more even series than the last few. The 3-0 trouncing in the summer was apparently closer than the scoreline suggested and the signs were there that an England team lacking motivation were on the slide, England were lucky to beat New Zealand, Lehmann, Clarke, home advantage, ageing English* etc have all popped their heads up as hindsought reasons (*Rogers and Bailey being the Oz newbies kind of blows that one to smithereens).
Some people did predict a "closer" series. But the only actual PREdiction of the turnaround on form I've seen was in a 'comments' thread on a newspaper website where an Aussie sarcastically listed some completely fanciful events, which, much to his own surprise, mostly came to pass.
As I said on day 1, even the most biased of Aussies, a certain G McGrath couldn't foresee what English commentators are now calling the worst tour in living memory. And for any English fan over 30, that is saying something. Aggers even (semi?) jokingly said he was looking forward to kickstarting the old radio phone-in's on the subject of 'what has went wrong with English cricket?'.
What is surely undeniable is that the stratagems employed by Lehmann & Clarke have worked well beyond what they could have expected. Trott is gone, Swann has been battered into leaving the sport altogether, Broad has a gammy foot, nobody can catch a ball...the list is endless.
The two options seem to be 1) have faith in the experience of these guys or 2) drop the lot of them. How could this happen? How could Andy Flower, Richard Halsall, Phil Neale, Graham Gooch, David Saker, James Avery, Mark Saxby, Huw Bevan, Bruce French, Nick Pierce, Reg Dickason & Nathan Leamon let this happen? Have I missed anyone? These guys are the backroom geniuses who have overseen this debacle. It would be interesting to know how much they've been paid to mastermind this most humiliating of trouncings.
I would be willing to bet that there have been more net sessions and warm-ups than ever before. After every humiliation, we are told by Cooky, Belly, Flowery etc that the solution is to "work harder". And the next week they dish up more of the same.
I know fine well that correlation does not imply causality, but whatever these coaches are doing, its patently not working. Unless of course one argues that without this back-up team, England would have been even more comprehensively defeated. This tour is one heck of an indictment on the relevance or influence of such a comprehensive back-up staff. Dare I suggest a curry night, a few tantrums and home truths, a bit of a punch-up and then taking to the field totally hungover like the Cross on tour?
Still, at least England can trawl the combox for solutions to their coaching ineptitudes, looking no further surely than the man with all the answers, I mean of course Geoffrey. When someone whose career was epitomised by putting himself ahead of the team has the gall to call out KP for exactly the same thing, really makes me unsympathetic for the whole shambolic nonsense.
When the next Ashes begins (...in February? I think there are 4 Ashes series or so lined up for 2014) all I want is for these two sides to sort out some sort of competitive series. While I'm sure some of these ass-whuppings are much enjoyed by the fans of both nations, as contests they're of as much interest to this neutral as Celtic v Hearts. What is the point?
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