Dummies

What a Dummy!!!

My attention was drawn to the current Australia v South Africa face off by our good Lord Admin this afternoon.

After a days play, the highly paid loonies who should know better instigated one of those fashionable warm downs. The result? Poor JP Duminy faces up to six months out with a ruptured achilles.

News Report

This writer has made his views on the dangers of pre & post exercise exercise quite clear on various occasions, however I am saddened again and again that the world just does not seem to listen to me.

Bravely I have put my own body on the line to prove this proof. I've been using myself as a one man test case for nearly a quarter of a century now by diligently defying coaches and should-know-betters who have insisted on either knackering you before you've even started or making you jump through hoops after a tough 80 or 90 minutes in a sleet filled swamp.

Ice Baths - actually intended for chillin the beers luv

The obvious elixir in either of these situations (warm-up or warm-down), which the science books snootily overlook is a swift half pint prior to taking the field or a swift full pint immediately after. The logic is flawless;

Warm-up Madness

Taking the field fully sober and half knackered (after a standard warm-up) does not rest the mind. Indeed, the pressure of the situation is heightened, the body tenses up and the brain cannot relax and focus on either battering the ball or hurting the batsman. This is of course if you've managed to survive the warm-up unscathed and haven't cost your nation the Ashes before someone can scream 'watch you don't step on that cricket ball Glenn ya big Galah'!!! (Relive the agony/delight here)

Warm-down Madness

Once a game is finished, in this half-Arctic country, the conditions will not be the best of the day, the pitch will likely bear some scars from the recent battle, all players will be physically spent and the chances of something even quite mundane going wrong are seriously increased. The only thing to be gained with warm-down's is usually your Hypothermia increasing from moderate to severe. And yet, the know-all's still persist with this craziness.

Warm-up Alternative

Taking the field with a swift half down the gullet is just enough to settle the psyche and lubricate the muscles and joints (?). One's demeanour is lightened and in the unlikely event you are struck by the ball, the pain is lessened. If you are still somehow unconvinced, tell me, who was sober during WWII, Adolf or Winston??? The results of Hitler's sobriety all too apparent.

Warm-down Alternative

After the match, if a player makes his way to the dressing room, thoroughly decent hosts usually have the jugs of lager already sitting (more of an egg-chasing custom), usually, quite aptly, on the treatment table. There are few moments that the tipple of your choice tastes any better or provides more instant refreshment and benefit than at this time.

How many more Duminy's must there be before this madness ends???