One spinner or two???

Meet England's new coach???

So, hands up anyone who would pick just one spin bowler in a Test Match in India? Anyone?? Don't worry, if you're stupid enough to think it's a good idea you could either be coach or captain of the England test side. Mind you, although Cooky and Flowery (has to be his nickname) thought it was the way to go, the 9 wicket defeat or 330 run deficit after the first innings in the 1st Test might have yielded a small clue.

Although I can't find the exact quote (hold on to your hats, I'm not a proper journalist), Sky's coverage told me earlier that none other than Shane Warney commented upon the 1st Test that if England weren't going to pick Panesar for that Test Match, when were they ever going to pick him? Too true.

Now I may be out of order, maybe Cooky or Flowery might know more about spin bowling than Warney. But Liz Hurley probably knows you need more than one spinner in India. It should be a sackable offence to not know this. It's akin to Levein playing without a striker in Prague (even Liz knows you always need two big strikers up front).

So onwards to the 2nd Test where Broady is a fitness doubt and every other English seamer bar Anderson is lame. And what amazing tactical innovation do England come up with? Well they go crazymadferrit and pick Monty AND Swanny. The audacity! The sheer ostentation!! Hallelujah!!!

But hold the fireworks, what are these sneaky Indian's up to. OMG they've gone for three (THREE) whole spinners in just one team. Wackier still, one of them will have to open the bowling. OMGx2. Just fancy that? Is this allowed says an old duffer choking on his Pimm's in the Long Room. Meanwhile, back at Castle Frazerio, I despair.

I'll make my view crystal clear. The four best spin bowlers in England right now should be in that Test XI. There is no sane argument against this. Not sure about that I hear you insanely say. OK. Chew on these series aggregates for the England bowlers in India so far:

(Overs/Maidens/Runs/Wickets)
Seamers   96   14   354    2   (r/r - 3.69, s/r 1 wkt every 288 balls)
Spinners  154  25   421   12  (r/r - 2.73, s/r 1 wkt every 77 balls)

If they played four spinners and they performed to those averages (those spin stats include part timers Patel & Pietersen too) and then someone said 'bring back Broad, Bresnan and Anderson in place of these keepin-it-tight-wicket-takers, you'd be locked up. And yet, that's where we seem to be.

I showed these numbers to a fish and even it laughed. Flowery & Cooky think a half fit and visibly floundering Stuart Broady (series figures so far 36-2-157-0) is the correct choice. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Why was only one spinner picked for the 1st Test? Why have only two been picked for the 2nd Test? Why are seamers getting picked at all?

For me the answer arrived not long after stumps in Mumbai when the highlights of Austrai'a v Safrica were broadcast. Safrica had finished 2-217. The first wicket was a run out. Aussie skipper Clarke used 8 bowlers in the day with 7th bowler Warner (David) taking the only other scalp. Yes, the Aussies couldn't take a wicket so their skipper went through every man and his dog to try and buy a wicket and lo and behold found one with his 6th change bowler.

Sky anchor, Ian Ward (5 Test matches for the Motherland) snidely commented on the in form Clarke 'inventive captaincy, or just running out of ideas'. I splurted my porridge down my jammies at that.

Mr Ward, let me say that Clarke's captaincy is the epitome of the exact opposite of running out of ideas. If you want to talk about running out of ideas, or better still, not having a clue, look at the English team selection and go no further.

Incidentally, Clarke once took 6-9 in a Test in India. England's seamers can't take 6-900.

If you can't take a wicket, try another bowler. If you are playing in India, only pick spinners. Stop thinking like it's 1951. England need to be able to think out of the box, or if they're incapable, listen to the likes of Shane Warne, if I can hear him, surely Flowery & Cooky can too.

Rant over.

Addendum (25/11/2012)

At the end of the highlights on Day 4 with Australia all over South Africa (77-4 from 50 overs in their 2nd innings), Ian Ward, seemingly having read my post, exclaims "Michael Clarke yet again thinking outside the box"!!!

ESCA AGM News

The ESCA agm was held last Tuesday night. Here are the highlights -

• The number of overs per side has been reduced in a number of divisions, although not in the ones we're playing in (see below). The new limits are: Divisions 1-2 50, Divisions 3-5 45, Divisions 6-9 40. A more radical proposal from Grange to play 40 over games everywhere except Division 1 was rejected.
• Fauldhouse have resigned from the National League and will rejoin the East League in Division 2. Melrose will join the East League in Division 7, so all the old Border League clubs are now in the ESCA fold. Saturday cricket returns to Kircaldy after a gap of several seasons as Dunnikier will take Kismet's place in Division 2 after a number of Kismet players moved to Dunnikier. Dunfermline and Dunfermline Wanderers are merging and will put out two XIs next season. Three clubs have successfuly applied for additional XIs: Glenrothes 3rds, Tranent 2nds and Watsonians 4ths.
• A number of Edinburgh pitches are likely to be out of commission this summer, including the grass wickets at Roseburn and Inverleith and possibly one of the Meadows pitches. Arrangements for a number of new artificial wickets are being finalised and these may be in place in time for the coming season.
• Bruce Dixon has completed his highly successful three year term as President. We would like to thamk him for his significant contribution to cricket in the East. The new President is our own PVB. Congratulations!

2013 Divisions

Here are the provisional divisional line-ups for the 2013 season -

Division 1 - Carlton 2, Dunfermline, Eastern Regional Academy, Edinburgh, Edinburgh Accies, Grange 2, Holy Cross, Murrayfield-DAFS, Musselburgh, St Boswells, Watsonian 2.

Division 5 - Boroughmuir 2, Dunfermline Carnegie, Edinburgh Accies 2, Edinburgh South 2, Holy Cross 2, Livingston 2, Musselburgh 2, Peebles, Preston Village, Selkirk.

Division 9 - Edinburgh South 3, Edinburgh South 4, Glenrothes 3, Holy Cross 3, Largo 4, Morton 3, Preston Village 2, SMRH 4, Tranent 2, Watsonian 4.

Lots of travelling for the 2s ......

Democratic Deficit

Crossers will be shocked to learn of Keith Flannigan's election to the post of President of Watsonians CC. Not that this fine gent has been deemed worthy of such high office but by the notion that cricket club Presidents are elected...

Dummies

What a Dummy!!!

My attention was drawn to the current Australia v South Africa face off by our good Lord Admin this afternoon.

After a days play, the highly paid loonies who should know better instigated one of those fashionable warm downs. The result? Poor JP Duminy faces up to six months out with a ruptured achilles.

News Report

This writer has made his views on the dangers of pre & post exercise exercise quite clear on various occasions, however I am saddened again and again that the world just does not seem to listen to me.

Bravely I have put my own body on the line to prove this proof. I've been using myself as a one man test case for nearly a quarter of a century now by diligently defying coaches and should-know-betters who have insisted on either knackering you before you've even started or making you jump through hoops after a tough 80 or 90 minutes in a sleet filled swamp.

Ice Baths - actually intended for chillin the beers luv

The obvious elixir in either of these situations (warm-up or warm-down), which the science books snootily overlook is a swift half pint prior to taking the field or a swift full pint immediately after. The logic is flawless;

Warm-up Madness

Taking the field fully sober and half knackered (after a standard warm-up) does not rest the mind. Indeed, the pressure of the situation is heightened, the body tenses up and the brain cannot relax and focus on either battering the ball or hurting the batsman. This is of course if you've managed to survive the warm-up unscathed and haven't cost your nation the Ashes before someone can scream 'watch you don't step on that cricket ball Glenn ya big Galah'!!! (Relive the agony/delight here)

Warm-down Madness

Once a game is finished, in this half-Arctic country, the conditions will not be the best of the day, the pitch will likely bear some scars from the recent battle, all players will be physically spent and the chances of something even quite mundane going wrong are seriously increased. The only thing to be gained with warm-down's is usually your Hypothermia increasing from moderate to severe. And yet, the know-all's still persist with this craziness.

Warm-up Alternative

Taking the field with a swift half down the gullet is just enough to settle the psyche and lubricate the muscles and joints (?). One's demeanour is lightened and in the unlikely event you are struck by the ball, the pain is lessened. If you are still somehow unconvinced, tell me, who was sober during WWII, Adolf or Winston??? The results of Hitler's sobriety all too apparent.

Warm-down Alternative

After the match, if a player makes his way to the dressing room, thoroughly decent hosts usually have the jugs of lager already sitting (more of an egg-chasing custom), usually, quite aptly, on the treatment table. There are few moments that the tipple of your choice tastes any better or provides more instant refreshment and benefit than at this time.

How many more Duminy's must there be before this madness ends???