Smudger's 2x30th In Photos

Father of the club

Smujinder 'Smudger' Smudgerjee celebrated graduation from the famous Holy Cross Youth Academy as he turned 3x20 at Arboretum Road's infamous Green Room Nightspot on Saturday night.

News had reached the capital that Lawrie's Third Army had defeated a Largo battalion in a stirring encounter at St Andrews in the only Cross game to reach a conclusion. Whilst Twitter reported that El Presidente had been hitting big 6's, there was also relief that after losing his only pair of cricket trousers, Coco had been forced to purchase a new pair and was therefore not playing in his golden budgie smugglers. It'd been mischievously suggested that his missing breeks had simply got up and scarpered of their own accord!!!

Golden Balls McGill back in '69

The 1st XI had returned early from Fettes after thrashing Grange 2's 204-0 in a one-sided affair where it would probably be fairer to mention that Grange never really got started in their innings. The 2's game, at the Fortress itself, also fell victim to this cantankerous jet stream silly bother we've been enduring of late. This ensured a prompt start to the binge drinking for both teams.

The distance of the 3's from the birthday shenanigans meant the party would have to wait for the dazzling social racontuerism of Messrs McGill & Robertson. In the meantime the legendary anecdotes were provided by the hippest swinger in the club, Mr G Lohan. The highlight was the discovery that "Paxman was my fag". Those of us educated by the council dared not ask for a layman's translation.

One of the things Gerry has smoked???

The 3's began to arrive back in instalments, generally in order of virility (I'll leave it to others to decide in which order). Their arrivals were interspersed with appearances by Honorary Legends such as Cartwright (senior) and Mair (available for selection, but not selected!!!).

Shifty - 5for in a break from filming

Eventually El Presidente and Coco joined proceedings and the real BS could begin. President Maradona was able to declare "this is finally the club I wished it to become" as young Gaware lit the presidential roll-up completely unrequested. It was made obvious that the drink was taking effect when Zggy Cydzk didn't even attempt to pronounce the name of a fellow cricketer - "that whotsisname" - also sporting a Polski surname.

It was also my pleasure (totally wasn't) to reunite McGill with his errant trews. They had been discovered earlier by poor Raja who had heard a low humming noise emitting from deep within his cricket bag. They had to be extracted at arms length and placed in a sealed container before immaturely falling into my possession as Dougie declared 'last bag packed has to take them', placing me at a distinct disadvantage being the only bag left unpacked.

All that remains to be divulged is this rather fetching snap taken anonymously at the end of the evening. Should any Smudger offspring be reading, I'd recommend going no further, or at the very least, scrolling down very slowly...

One for Mrs Smudger