My Children,Once again our annual flirtation with, ahem, democracy, is upon us. My dear friend the High Chancellor and Grand Poobah Mr Admin has appointed the 21st February as the date of the club AGM.
I have no need to urge you all to attend and show your unquenchable devotion to your President by voting for me in some form of ballot. I think the voice of the membership has been heard often enough that we no longer need such futile gestures of affirmation.
Nonetheless, it is your right to deliver the democratic order of the boot to any lesser club functionaries whose performance may not have met your, er, high expectations. So if you have been silently seething at the incompetent antics of your team captain, or you feel that the club would be better managed by a different shower of monkeys, this is your opportunity to do something about it.
For let me tell you this: if you don't show up, and you get some neanderthal nincompoop as skipper, then you can ballywell put a sock in it for the rest of the year.
The gavel will fall at 3pm on the appointed day. I should remind you that ever since McGill claimed the record for the longest uninterrupted, irrelevant and incoherent rant, the bar has had to remain closed during AGMs. So if you think you may need some lubricant during the peristaltic progress of the agenda, BYO.
My blessings upon you all. Remember, we know where you live. Now then, I'm feeling peckish. I wonder who's in the fridge...
His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Shifty, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.
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'I should remind you that ever since McGill claimed the record for the longest uninterrupted, irrelevant and incoherent rant, the bar has had to remain closed during AGMs'
ReplyDeletethough in no way would I wish to contradict our great leader (as I may suffer the Patrice Lumumba treatment..) but I seem to recall that it was a certain R. Dyer who overindulged at a previous HX AGM and became somewhat..er...disputatious. Before you send your henchmen round...I will concede it may well have been both men who overdid things.
Sadly my records do not go back far enough to include any information on the Rocket's contributions to agms.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the minutes of the 2004 agm include the observation that McGill, speaking as Midweek Captain, "went on to make a series of comments that the Secretary's notes record only as 'very cryptic'." Later on he asked for a stiff broom.
By my reckoning that was one of Slapshot's pithier interjections.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience of cricket organisation specifically the Cross, people need to be told what to do, where & when to do it. The trouble in flirting with democracy is that the great & good (Shifty & Admin) can be voted out of office whilst they cannot remove the electorate.
ReplyDeleteAll power to Shifty & Admin.
'Sadly my records do not go back far enough to include any information on the Rocket's contributions to agms'
ReplyDeleteBut mine do:
From the minutes of the AGM 20th Feb 2000:
9.11. Clarification of the Constitution.
Ricky Dyer raised the issue of the role of the match secretary [ten C. McGill] in selecting teams. He felt that it was unfair that the 1st XI captain did not have full control over the selection of the team...It is unclear how this matter was sorted and THERE WAS A LOT OF CONFUSION AND SOME RANCOUR...'
[I think this provides clear evidence that the bar was open and that both RD and CM had been imbibing]