Friday, 11 December 2009

Security Breach - New Cross Committee Revealed.


It's been a few years since we had a contested election at the HX agm, leading some to mutter about "democracy with North Korean characteristics". However, the stitch-up has usually been accompanied by a North Korean-style level of secrecy.

Now, in a shocking development, leading Cross dissident, PVB, has posted a list of club officers to the world wide web at http://www.eastleague.org.uk/. For those without access to the ESCA website we reproduce his list in full -

  • Secretary - Osama bin Laden.
  • 1st XI Captain - Yogi Bear.
  • 1st XI Vice-Captain - Tiberius Gracchus.
  • 2nd XI Captain - Mickey Mouse.
  • 2nd XI Vice-Captain - Jeffrey Archer.
  • 3rd XI Captain - Cheryl Cole.
  • 3rd XI Vice-Captain - Atilla the Hun.
  • Juniors - Freddie Flintoff.
It is not yet clear how many of these are merely codenames or even whether this is a full slate. The omission from the list of President-for-Life Robertson has led to renewed speculation over the health of the Dear Leader.

Veteran Central Committee hard-liner, Comrade Admin, rumoured in some quarters to be a candidate for 3rd XI vice-captain, commented on the security breach - "This is exactly the sort of deviationism I was trying to prevent by obstructing the development of the website through two Five Year Plan periods. I look forward to working closely with Comrade Cole."
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5 comments:

  1. Frazerio11 December 2009 at 18:06

    Old Bin Laden should easily be nominated in absentia and the double bonus would be the lowering of our average age. I hear Aggie Bin Laden makes a nice tea.

    I'd go for Yogi Hughes as 1st XI captain just now, he can do no wrong.

    Tiberius I'm not aware of, I missed Rome on BBC when it was on.

    And if Cheryl turned up, I fear McGill's heart might give up, or is that the plan Paul???

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  2. cje11 December 2009 at 19:03

    'For those without access to the ESCA website'...

    are some Crossers prevented from doing so? that DOES sound a bit North Korean...or perhaps it's only those liable to post on the ESCA messageboard at 4am that are not given access.

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  3. cje11 December 2009 at 19:09

    'Juniors - Freddie Flintoff'

    I'm beginning to have concerns about the authenticity of this list.
    Seems quite credible to suggest that Flintoff will be joining us (even if only for Masterton games): but a juniors section...that's a bit fare-fetched...

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  4. pvb11 December 2009 at 22:48

    The FBI have been asking awkward questions - they say they will nuke the old pavilion if we don't let them inspect it, in case he's been holed up there for 5 years. CS have said they are finding it difficult to find a ground for Scotland's game against Afghanistan next year, and since I offered them Arbo, the FBI think our new secretary may have had an influence with the venue.

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  5. Mahmood13 December 2009 at 18:39

    Chery Cole, good choice. I will offer to carry the kit every Saturday and turn up on time!!!

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